Response to ABC Network

This is my response to ABC’s newest list of quesitons regarding the video post. Thanks again to ABC Network for sending them!

1.)Your video has been viewed millions of times, was it your intention for it to garner so much attention or was it meant to be shared on a smaller scale?

It was meant for two audiences:

First, it was meant for the Facebook friends she has her own age that thought “Hey, that’s so cool that you stood up to your parent’s that way. That’s awesome!” I wanted them to know in no uncertain terms that she didn’t get away with it.

Secondly, it was meant to the parents of those kids who let their kids come play at my kids’ house. I was mortified and embarrassed that one of my daughter’s friends fathers, a local police chief, might look at that video and think “I can’t believe that sorry excuse for a man let’s his kids talk that way. My kids will certainly NOT be going over there again.”

I guess time will tell if that worked or not. lol. If she comes back over, I’ll know I’m OK with her parents I guess. If she doesn’t, I’ll be REAL careful not to ever speed through that township… EVER!

2.) People have applauded your actions as good parenting and others have criticized you for being too extreme – what do you have to say to your critics as well as your supporters?

To those who support the decision; we sincerely thank you and appreciate it. I didn’t do it for your approval, but when the crap hit the fan on the net, it was really awesome to be able to fall back on your comments and emails. I’ve read every one of them and I plan to somehow, someday, respond to all of them.

To the critics; Hey, you raise your children however you want. Mine don’t have criminal records, don’t skip school, don’t fail classes, and they’re polite (most of the time). I hope your brand of parenting works well for you and your family. I’m not in your shoes and have no right to tell you how to raise your children. As long as they turn out well in the end, then our jobs as parents was well done. If you can find a way to express that in a video.. I’ve heard that’s the new thing now.

3.) You put a lot of work into her laptop, time upgrading it, 130-dollars in software updates – why destroy the laptop? Why not just take it away?

Because I’d already done that, once for a brief time, and once again for a longer period of time. That didn’t work. I can’t be sure who said it first, but Albert Einstein was credited once for saying the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

People tell me he was a pretty smart man…

4.) People who do criticize your actions seem to take most offense to the use of the gun, can you explain your choice of using the gun rather than another method of destroying the laptop?

Because that was what I promised her two months ago. If I’d promised to use a hammer, or promised to give it to someone else, then that’s what I’d have done. If I promised to send it to the moon on the back of a rocket, I’d have been screwed I suppose, but I didn’t promise that.

I was stuck by my own words. I said “If this happens again, I’ll put a bullet through it.” It happened again.
5.) If you could go back would you still make the video and take the same actions?

That’s tough to answer, really. I believe everything I did was appropriate. However I also believe the freak occurrence that made the video go viral means the punishment accidentally outweighed the crime. A couple hundred friends and friends-of-friends saw her post. So far, 27 million have seen mine. Although the more we are on the end of a public hot-plate the more we are seeing that parents across the nation are standing up for their rights as parents again and putting a stop to their kids language and feelings of entitlement, so if we struck some cord there, however accidentally, then maybe some other child won’t go through this. I consider that a positive effect and it helps to make some of the drama worth it.

Even more than that is the intrusion and investigation of CPS/DSS into my family’s life though. That has been stressful for each and everyone of them, including my daughter. The people who thought they were doing her a favor by sending hundreds of calls to CPS only means she has to deal with some lady dropping by her life without warning for months to come, just to make sure we don’t beat her and lock her in a closet at night. It about stressed my wife to the breaking point, though the final report from CPS thus far has been that there’s absolutely nothing to worry about, no signs of abuse in the past, and that our family is healthy and happy overall. (This is where I’d stick out my tongue and say something childish like “na-na-na-na-naaa-naaa-ppppffffttt” if I were on camera. Another good reason we’re not doing interviews. lol)

But nothing we’ve gained is worth the stress this put on my wife and my kids thanks to CPS, so because of that alone, I’d NOT do it again.

6.) Why do you think your video has struck such a chord and maintained it popularity ?

Because now it’s political. It’s a full-blown multi-sided hydra that has apparently been welling within society for quite awhile now. There’s no way this would have “blown up” like it has were there not already a powder-keg problem ready to ignite.

Some (most) parents, and we’ve literally heard responses from across the world, have responded with “about time someone stood up to their kids” kinds of comments.

Other parents have responded with the “ohmygod you’re a horrible horrible man and I hope your daughter gets pregnant just to get back at you” kind of drivel. These people don’t bother me. They’re bad parents to begin with in my opinion.

Kids of all ages though have written and commented along the same partisan lines. We’ve received the expected “you suck and you’re an insert-four-letter-word-here kind of comments of course, but I’ve received emails and comments from kids as young as 8 and 9 years old who say “Good job, sir” and “my parents would do the same thing to me.” It’s been amazing to see that kind of thing, especially from young people. I wish there was some way to shake the hand of every one of their parents. They’re doing it right!

7.) When your video gained popularity Child Protective Services did come to speak with you and your family, what was the result of those discussions ?

It took about two days. When the phone rang I told the social worker I was amazed it took them this long to respond and that of course she could come over and take a look around the house and speak to me and my family. The discussions we had were long and repetitive and generally just centered around how we raise them, what the rules are, what the general types of discipline are, how they do in school, how they communicate with us, etc.

The stress of having someone in your life, however polite they appear to be, that can take your kids away from you though; that’s not something I want to repeat, ever. It drove our kids crazy, my wife crazy, and myself a little crazy. In the end, there were a lot of things I was disappointed in CPS with, but I’m not going to air that here or anywhere else. The sad thing about CPS is that if you poke them back with a stick, no matter how well-deserved you might feel it is, you just invite more trouble. You don’t play King of the Mountain with someone who can take your children from you. You just don’t. Hopefully, their involvement in our lives is over and done with. As far as they’ve said; our family is fine and healthy and happy and they’re satisfied on the matter. That’s all I’ll say on that one.

8.) What does your daughter think about all this attention as well as her initial reaction to the video posting?

We talked about this one at dinner tonight, and I asked her if she would like to respond directly. She’s not a big fan of being in the spotlight, but we did managed to get the following response put together:

About her initial reaction to the video posting; 
“I was mad, but you would be too. I got over it. I’m not, like, scarred for life. I wasn’t as much mad that you shot it. I was mad that I found out about it from someone at school instead of you.” (referring to me, her Dad).

Full Story on that part:  Hannah got home after school on the day of the incident, and my wife wasn’t home yet. I didn’t want to have to put Hannah through it twice, nor did I particularly want to have to have this conversation with my wife or daughter twice either, if truth be told. I knew it was going to be a serious heart-to-heart for all involved so we wanted to have it when we were all three together. Since Amy didn’t get home from work until 11:30 that evening because of emergency clinic calls, it was too late to wake Hannah up and have the conversation. I knew she’d be upset and I knew she’d be crying and I knew she had to be up for school in about five and a half more hours, so I made a judgment call that it was too much to wake her and have that conversation at that time. Of course we still had no idea this was a viral thing, because a lot of that hadn’t really taken off yet. Hannah got up for school the next morning and went off to school like any other day. It still wasn’t really viral, but one of her friends told her about it at school, so she didn’t get to hear it from one of us directly until she got home after school that day. That was when we sat down together, calmly, and talked it out. That part, for me, is a regret. I should have woken her up that night and had the conversation, or had it with her alone when she got home, but my emotions were too raw at the moment for me to feel like I could have it in a constructive manner.

What do you think about all the attention:
“It doesn’t bother me… but I find people’s responses kind of funny.”

“What do you think about the people who say you’re going to be damaged by all this?”
She said “They’re morons. They don’t know the situation. They don’t even know me.”

Her other statements: 

  • “I like how the social services lady asked me if I was really gonna be a stripper. I was, like, umm, no!”
  • School has been pretty normal. It’s not been embarrassing. People don’t really know it’s me because my last name is different. If they did I wouldn’t care. I don’t think it would, like, bother me.”
  • Her response when she saw the missed call list I’ve had just since dinner started: “Why do people even care? It’s been,like, two weeks.”
  • She looked at me as we were writing this response and said “Oh yeah, if you’re still planning to sell this laptop, you might want to do it now. People will buy it!”

9.) Is your daughter still grounded , what is her punishment for her remarks on Facebook?

Yup. In short, in addition to normal chores, no TV, no Internet (cause of the whole computer-gone-kablooey thing), no going out to the movies, dates, etc, and no new computers or gadgets until she gets the determination to earn them herself.

10.) Did you make her close her Facebook account?

No. I can’t think of anything that would make me ever do that to her. Maybe it’s because I use Facebook a lot too and I’d hate to lose 6 years of communications and photos and memories, but I consider that just too much. I’ve changed the password to her Facebook and her email account, and I’ll change it back when she’s no longer grounded.

11.) It’s clear on the tape you were hurt by what she wrote, what bothered you the most?

The vulgarity. And that’s been really funny to watch people’s reactions. They all seem to think I’m angry because she doesn’t want to do chores. It’s not that at all. I’m angry because she intentionally chose language no young lady should use in public, or private for that matter.  THAT was what embarrassed all of us. The other hurtful thing was the way she referred to our friend as a “cleaning lady.” First, she’s not a cleaning lady. Second (even if she was a lady we paid to clean our home), it was written as if that somehow made her a second class human being and Hannah was above that station in life. There is no chore an adult will ever do when I’m around that I’m too good to do too, and certainly not one my kids are too good for. She wasn’t raised that way. That probably hurt the most.

12.) What has been the reaction of your local community ?

Oh.. let’s see. My wife gets high-fives at the Toyota dealership and comments like “be sure to tell your husband we support him” kind of remarks. I get thumbs-ups from adults who recognize my face when I’m in public, at the gas station, in Lowes, even in the McDonalds drive thru the other day. No one I’ve met yet in person has had a negative word to say.

13.)When your video started getting attention online you did something unique, you asked people to donate to the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Can you tell us about that and how much money has been raised?

Well, I’m not really sure what to tell. A friend of mine got me involved with the MDA Lock-Up a few years back and we’ve always tried to participate each year when they ask us to. This year, like every other, they asked if we’d like to do it again and my wife and I said yes. We went on Facebook and Twitter and sent out email blasts just like usual, trying to raise our preset goal of $800.00.

On the day the video went viral I was still WAY short if my goal. I’d raised about $320.00 total I think when I made the first post. All of the sudden the donations started rolling in like crazy. I don’t have any way to know how many people in total have donated since then, but we’ve thus far raised about $7,800.00.

I contacted the local director of the MDA drive in my area and asked them if they’d extend the link they issued me for another few days or weeks. They said as long as donations keep coming in like they are, they’ll keep it up in perpetuity, so now we’re pushing it hard on the new blog site, hoping some of the momentum will continue..

Hint: wink, wink, nudge, nudge – I feel pretty certain a bump from ABC on the air about it wouldn’t hurt the donations either. I’m just sayin’…

14.) What message would you like to get out and share with the public?

There are too many messages and lessons to be learned from this experience to list them all. We’ve been sitting here amongst ourselves and talking about finding some way to leverage the infamy and turn it to a good cause. That’s why we built the new web site. Eight minutes and twenty-three seconds of my life have forever impacted all of my family in ways we don’t even know yet, and won’t fully understand for a long time to come, but we feel there are a few salient messages that need to be understood.

  • In case it’s not obvious by now, ANYTHING you put on the internet can follow you around for the rest of your life! I’m living proof of that and so is my daughter.
  • You don’t have to give into the media to get your story told the way it needs to be told. Tell it yourself. Tell it in your words. Make people hear what YOU want to say, not what they want to print or air. The average person has an amazing amount of power at their fingertips, but it takes a little luck and a lot of restraint to make it work the way you want it to and to keep your story YOUR story, not someone else’s.
  • Everything that’s been published or written since that first post has made my stomach turn constantly. I feel like I’m grabbing an angry bull by the horns every time I make a statement or comment. You can be the best rodeo guy around, but eventually you can still get hurt regardless of how careful you are. Be careful with that. That’s all I’m saying.
  • On parenting, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I don’t know how to be a parenting guru. None of us do. None of us have a clue how we did as parents until our kids are grown, married, have their careers, succeed at them, have kids and don’t screw ‘em up, and then retire. Were they good students, good soldiers or workers, keep a job, did they marry smart, how are their kids, etc. If we’re lucky to live long enough to sit back together without being dottering ourselves by that time THEN we can look back on our accomplishments and say with confidence that we raised them right. In the meantime I have to use myself as an example because it’s the only one I’ve got to work with. In my admittedly-biased point of view I think I turned out OK, so when my kids act up I just sit back and think what my Mom did to me when I did something like that. Then I probably wince a little at the memory and go do some variation on the same.
  • Your kids are tougher than they look. I’m  not saying be hard on them, God no, but remember that your first job is to prepare them for the world that’s going to attack them full force as soon as they’re grown. It’s your job to give them the skills to cope, teach them the good AND the bad lessons they’ll need to know. The world won’t sit you down at twenty-five years old and tell you that you’re great, and beautiful, and sweet, and charming, and keep giving you chance after chance. You don’t get a gold star for effort in real life. They’ll fire you from job after job and you’ll likely blame them for it because you never learned to be responsible for your own actions. Teach them the tough lessons because you love them enough to do it, instead of avoiding it because you want to be their friend or be the cool parent. I’d rather my children be a little mad at me now and proud later in life of themselves, then proud of me now and mad at me the rest of their lives because I sent them out unprepared for reality.

15.) Are there any misconceptions about you and your family that you would like to set straight? 

Dude… now you’re really gonna make it pointless for me to write a book aren’t you? Sigh. Umm..let’s see.

  • That Greg weirdo on YouTube is a nut-job and needs medication for his dementia. His clock stopped chiming awhile back it seems. (There’s this guy on YouTube claiming to have the low-down on me… he doesn’t. I’ve never met him, and he’s certainly never met me.)
  • Chuck Norris does NOT wear Tommy Jordan pajamas. He wears Sylvester Stallone pajamas, but I get the confusion. People say we look alike sometimes.
  • I don’t have an ex-wife, which of course precludes me from being on my third, so I hope that clears up both of those misconceptions.
  • Hannah hasn’t lived with us her entire life. She spent the summer here like she normally does. I asked her to consider moving up here to live with us last summer because I want to enjoy a few of those cute, kiddy years when hugs and smiles are still abundant; before she leaves for college and Dad’s aren’t considered cool. So she’s lived here almost a year. She spent her previous years with her Mom, who is an awesome mother in her own right. Hannah just wanted some Dad time before she got too old to enjoy it and I jumped at the chance to have her in my life full time. Truthfully she thought life here was easier and there were less chores… boy should she have done her research first, huh?
  • Yes, I’m the high-school sweetheart my wife talks about, and she was mine too. That’s another story though.
  • Don’t let the cowboy hat fool you. I’m not the redneck some of these viewers think I am, and neither are the rest of my family, but that’s OK. We collectively superlatively enjoy being vastly underestimated. My wife is a summa-cum-laude graduate with a perfect GPA through out all 8 years of college, and is a doctor of veterinary medicine (DVM), a full time mother, a wife, learning to play guitar, and still finds time for continuing education and somehow manages to find time to read enough books that I really need to buy stock in Kindle. My kids are honors students and always have been. And I’ve been doing things the hard way all my life because I CAN, not because I’m incapable of the easy way. I just believe anything worth having is worth working for and that doing things the easy way doesn’t teach you how to cope when things go wonky. I built my company with a partner and absolutely no more investment capital than we had in our pockets that first day, and that might have been about twenty-bucks and I have a customer retention rate that has never dropped below 95%, which is ridiculously unheard of in the IT world, AND I’ve survived the recession thus far while managing to keep my company open, so I’m doing something right!


Comments

Response to ABC Network — 107 Comments

  1. Good evening Mr. Jordan. Both my wife and I watched the video. I just wanted to bring another viewpoint to the discussion. My wife is a Social Worker with CPS in our county. You can believe me when I say that it is as tense and uncomfortable for her to go on a call as it is for the ones who are being investigated. It may seem to you (especially where the allegations are unfounded) to be a waste of your and and their time. Far from it. They would rather be as certain as possible that the child is in no danger. There are too many cases where a child has been harmed or killed, usually because the child and/or parents would not cooperate.
    None of this is to criticize you or your opinions. Just to put the other side out. Thank you for your time Mr. Jordan. (I too was raised to call everybody Sir and Maam).

    • Just like most people 99% of CPS, or COPS are cool people, but it is the other 1% who think they are legends in thier own mind. It is the same every where you look you only REALLY notice the bad people, or the Really Good people, the rest just fall through the cracks.

  2. THIS MAN DID AN OUTSTANDING JOB…HE MADE A PROMISE TO HIS DAUGHTER AND HE KEPT IT…SHE DID WRONG AND SHE WAS PUNISHED…LONG BEFORE I MARRIED MY WIFE, MY STEP-DAUGHTER WAS BRAINWASHED BY ONE OF HER FRIENDS INTO THINKING THAT SHE DON’T HAVE TO DO WHAT SHE IS TOLD…SHE IS 19 AND A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL…SINCE I CAME ALONG MY WIFE AND MOTHER-IN-LAW ARE FINALLY LEARNING NOT TO TAKE HER CRAP…AND MY STEP-DAUGHTER IS FINALLY LEARNING THAT SH HAS TO EARN HER WAY IN LIFE AND IF SHE WANTS OR NEEDS SOMETHING THAT SHE CAN’T GET ON HER OWN SHE IS TO ASK FOR IT.

    CHILDREN TODAY HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP TO THINK THAT THEY ARE THE ONES IN CONTROL…AND A LOT OF THE LAWS OF TODAY DEFENDS THAT MENTALITY…THEY ARE TAUGHT TO NOT RESPECT THEIR ELDERS…BUT THEY AT THE SAME TIME DEMAND THAT THEIR ELDERS RESPECT THEM…ALL THIS STARTED HAPPENING WHEN A PARENT CAN NO LONGER SPANK THEIR CHILD…I WAS NOT A PERFECT CHILD AND EVERY TIME I SCREWED UP BIG TIME MY FATHER BUSTED MY ASS…LATER IN LIFE I FOLLOWED IN HIS FOOTSTEPS AND GOT INTO LAW ENFORCEMENT.

  3. I am glad that there are still parents that REALLY care how there children’s actions NOW will impact them in the future. (Never stop being the dad that you are.)

  4. It is not easy being a parent, let alone a great parent,. We all have messed up a time or two. We raised two great kids and pulled our hair out many a time..I would do it all over again. Now I have two wonderful grown adults with children of their own. And am proud to say, they are as strict as we were. It does pay off in the long run to be the parent and they be guided by us. Even great kids are a trial. It wasn’t easy, but we all survived. I am proud of you for taking a stand in raising your children. If more parents did, the world would be a better place.
    (Ever wonder how those 99%’young adults were raised?)

  5. I applaud your effort in raising your daughter. I have seen to many kids in my area (Plymouth,MN) just expect everything they want, to be just given to them. For a parent to stand up to their child in such a bold way is great. They need that harsh wake up call once in a while. Thank you for opening the eyes of many passive parents out there. You truly deserve a medal.

    • I agree with all of this, but especially with you making your daughter find a job to pay for all her stuff. If she is taught to work for her wants/needs then she will become an adult who continues to work for her wants/needs. That is why America is in the situation it is where people don’t want to work & expect to be given everything for free. Eventually the good is going to outweigh the bad and the working class is going to be outnumbered by the lifestyle welfare class. It’s sad, just sad!

  6. Mr. Jordan, as I watched your video, one thought popped in my head,” that is exactly what my Daddy would have done!”. Now, I know beyond a shadow of doubt my Daddy loved me, but he didn’t take any of the crap I tried to dish out as a teenager. I have read your comments, and I whole heartedly agree with your viewpoint. I just hope I can muster up that kind of gumption when I start dealing with my kids when the become teenagers (next year…yikes! ). Thank you for showing the world that tough love is still love!

  7. Hey Rocky-uh, I mean, Tommy, Of all the response posts this was my personal favorite because they asked you good questions. I like the way you respond in full story form. I believe your writing ability is half the reason that this story stays relevant even though it is normally not the nature of the net for any viral video to do so.
    My favorite part was the last section when you explained some misconceptions. Thank you for sharing, I look forward to reading you.

  8. Tommy: Just wanted to comment that I love reading your responses to the media. You have a way with words sir and I really think that you should write a parenting book. That may sound strange, but I think that if there were more parenting books out there written by people who A) actually have children and B) who have children who are honors students and generally good people, that the world might be a better place. I too agree that your punishment (as intended, not as in what it became when it went viral) was perfect. My children are 4 and 3 and they know that when I say something it is going to happen if they mess up. I was not raised to take my parents for granted and to walk all over them, and I am not going to raise mine that way either. My 4 year old got mad a few days ago, and broke another one of his brother’s toys. I had warned him that if it happened again, since it has already happened like 4 times, that I would take his favorite toy and smash it in the front yard. As soon as he broke that toy out of anger I snatched up his favorite toy and did exactly what I had said I was going to do. He got mad and cried and yelled that was his toy and I couldn’t do that. I calmly reminded him of who bought that toy for him and that I could and would do it again if he continued to break other people’s things. As parents, we have to keep our word with our kids. If we don’t then we look like pushovers, and kids are like wild animals: they can sense fear.

  9. I personally would not have shot the laptop, but rather sold it and got my $130 back, but that’s me. Otherwise, I think he’s doing a fine job as a parent. Can’t be easy.

  10. I just want to say that I firmly believe in the way you have and are raising your children. I have two very young daughters of my own, 3 and 1, and as I watch them grow and change, I have visions of wonderful women that have succeeded in life. I know that it is my job to make sure that happens, to the best of my abilities. I was raised by the same standards by my parents. Well, by my mother mostly, but that is because my father passed away in a car accident when I was ten and my brother was 4. From this same car accident, my mom became paralyzed. But instead of feeling sorry for herself because she couldn’t walk and had lost her husband, she faced the situation head on and put in a long hard fight for her life (She was given a two percent chance of living after the accident). This woman that I am so blessed to call my mother, raised us two kids by herself, from a wheelchair, in our own home, with just the three of us (and our dogs =]), and I must say she did one heck of a job. We were raised to be polite, we were raised to respect, we were raised to do chores, we were raised with unconditional love and understanding. Being that my brother and I had dealt with so many raw emotions so young, it started out to be a handful for my mom. I rebelled against her and everything that happened in my life. My brother really didn’t understand the situation. She had a LOT on her plate. But instead of giving up she thanked God for letting her live and she pushed on. My brother is now going to be 18 in two weeks, and he will graduate (with honors) this coming May. He has a full time job at a nursing home (yes, full time 40 hours, because he is involved in the Work Experience program at his high school), he bought his own computer, his own car, he pays his own insurance and he even helps our mother pay their bills. I am 24 now, married, will graduate from college next year and currently have a 3.8 gpa, have two beautiful little girls (whom I will raise in the same manner), and a beautiful life and my brother and I owe every single bit of this to our mother. We owe her because she raised us the right way, and prepared us for what life could throw at us. So Mr. Jordan, I am with you all the way, and I think it is amazing how you raise your children. I certainly hope I do as good of a job with my daughters as my mother did with my brother and I, and as you are doing with your children.

  11. Interesting, you set up a website. Looks like you are one step closer to the dark side. In all fairness to you this is your field though so a site like this probably took you no more then 5 minutes. Looking back on you in a few years should be interesting. Your a case study for the first time you are a person who got 15 minutes of fame and is anti media attention. I respect that. Will you be able to hold out is the question.

    • Well, more like 24 hours, but yes I’ll admit it wasn’t exactly rocket science. The challenge came in being able to keep it live during all the hub-bub. Every site I linked to earlier has crashed due to the ridiculously high amounts of traffic my posts were generating, so we did some creative cache-serving to keep this one alive throughout this initial response. I’m happy to say that I’ve learned about yet another product I’ll be rolling out to my customers. lol

      And the purpose of the website isn’t what you might think. The point is that I got my 8 minutes of fame and now, at least for awhile, I have a voice I can use to speak to some of the issues that others have raised. Ideally the purpose for this site is to let OTHERS have their 8 minutes.. right here. I’m still working on how to best achieve that goal. There’s a lot of code to go through and a lot of ideas that still need to be filtered out to figure out how to best achieve this, but I’m working on it as best I can. I hope you’ll stay tuned long enough to see it come to fruition before you jump on me too hard for “going to the dark side.”

      Tommy

  12. It’s rather telling how you yourself point to (and then make clear your side of) the polarized perspective of “was this good parenting or not?”, putting the (far more obvious, in my opinion) question of “was this a good idea” aside and largely excusing it with the weak excuse of hindsight. As someone who works in IT you, sir, should have had the common sense to understand the ‘nature of the beast’ before you decided to go and feed it. The punishment outweighed the crime? NO. FREAKING. JOKE. SHERLOCK. Teenage girls whining about their parents are a penny a dozen on the Internet — angry dads shooting up their daughter’s laptop (and showing YouTube), though, now THAT is brand new, and the Internet feeds on ‘new’ like a school of half-starved piranhas. It’s clear that you let your emotions control you just as much as your daughter’s did her — you, sir, were acting juvenile when you pulled this stunt. Keeping your promise? Fine. Put a bullet through the thing and leave it on her bed. Message delivered, promise kept. Making and posting a video? You have no one to blame for this firestorm but yourself and — mark this now — you, and your daughter, will *never* fully escape it. Your act of indiscretion will follow you to your very grave, if not through the cold ministrations of public scrutiny then through regret and a guilty conscience. You talk about Einstein and keeping promises? I’ve got a brilliant moral lesson for you to add to the repertoire and, get this, it’s right in your very own bathroom! Walk in there for me, sir, and grab a tube of toothpaste. Squeeze it out. Squeeze it ALL out. Done? Good. Now put the toothpaste back in the tube. Yeah… good luck with that. That toothpaste? It’s words and actions — yours, mine, everyone’s. And once they’re out there’s no putting them back in. So in the future, before you reach for your video camera or start typing away at a keyboard, stop and think of all the countless ways such a public action could come back around and bite you and the ones you love in the hindquarters. Before you point to Einstein for justification, remember that Murphy is lurking in his shadow.

    Ex libris veritas.

    • “Keeping your promise? Fine. Put a bullet through the thing and leave it on her bed. Message delivered, promise kept.”

      If you just had to shoot it, I couldn’t agree more with this quote.

  13. I believe that your daughter will have a one of a kind tale ( true one) to tell your grand children!
    CPS.. can be disappointing. I am not going to slam them on here, but I have seen many cases where they leave children in bad situations and pick on good parents due to them standing up for themselves. it is like arguing with a cop on if you ran a stop sign or not. Pointless and you never push back at a person who can take your very being from your life.

    I don not understand how a person can call CPS repeatedly. People should focus on their lives and their children. 15 is a goofy age to begin so I can only IMAGINE the stress of the haters attacking your moral.
    As a mother of teen daughters and a pre teen son.. I must say this. I WISH I would have shot the computer.. the iphone.. and the Playstation a long time ago. I have catered to my children for the most part of their lives and only gotten tough when push past my point.
    I see my mistakes in that type of parenting. Now, don’t get me wrong; my children are wonderful, smart, and mannerful( most of the time.) But, in my next life… I will most definitely SHOOT all three above and let them know I mean business.
    I will pray for your family and that people will go back to theirs’ soon so that you all may have some peace.

  14. Thank you, I’ve enjoyed reading this. Every parent needs to keep their virtual guns on during the crazy teen years. When my first child became a teen, I told her, “I’m a new teen mom and you’re a new teen, we can get through this the easy way if you like.” We took care of business when our kids were little and didn’t really have any problems from there on out, but it was a lot of work. We are now empty nesters and loving it. God Bless from our house to yours:)

  15. I am truely sorry, but I feel you are using your lapse in good jugdement, to gain fame. What is next? using your gun to solve someother problem? If i where CPS (luckily for you a am not)I would be questioning your abilities as a parent.If this is not your intent, then just shut up and get on with life……

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  17. First of all,I respect The way you disaplined your Daughter,and i admire the way you have handled all the backlash since.
    One of my biggest gripes with our Laws anymore,is..We aren’t suppose to spank our child(that’s physical Abuse),if we punish them in any way that is harsh(that is mental Abuse).BUT..Let one of our Children,get in trouble ,for instance destroy someones property..WHO do they make responsible for it ,The Parents.We can’t punish them,but WE not THEM are held responsible, No wonder todays Children don’t take responsibility for their actions,they know the Parents are going to be blamed for their actions instead of the Child.I have heard Children say,that they threaten their Parents that if they spank them they will turn them into CPS.Parents are afraid to punish their Children anymore because of the Law.That is why we have so many young people throwing their lives away today,they have Ruled their Parents and the Law stands by them.

    • The first time either of my kids threatened me with CPS i held out the phone to them after getting the number myself and told them to go ahead. That if they thought the state and Fed govt could do better as a parent than i could, then by all means go ahead and make the call. I then reminded them of all they would lose by going that route and how fortunate they were to have the things they have. My daughter will graduate in the top 5 of her class this year. not 5%. Top 5. My son i’m still working on, but i see him in at least the top 10 when he graduates in 3 years.

      I did’nt have to go to Mr Jordan’s extreme, but i can only say way to go sir.

  18. I agree that shooting the lap top was a bit drastic. However, I understand how he was driven to this. I have a 13 year old who refuses to listen and feels that we as his parents should pay him for just being around. He refuses to listen, do chores and is disrespectful.

    What has caused this? Our society, we live in a society where you can not punish your children without a threat of going to jail or having social services investigate your family. In many cases either can ruin a person. The schools teach our children to call SS if for the slightest reason and parents are guilty until proved innocent. There are case where careers and families have been destroyed by this.

    There are real threats of abuse but we still need to be able to discipline children and not beat or harm them.

    I know how Tommy feels as I exploded a PSP game disc in my hand before.

  19. Love love love what you did!!! My daughter violated the rules and I took her Facebook away forever until she graduates and can do it on the computer that she pays for. She had two chances and blew it. She violated the rules with her iPod touch, gone! These things we provide them are not rights or entitlements, they are merely privileges that they earn and lose if they fail to follow the rules that we as parents set for them. Don’t like it? Move out and take care of yourself. There is no privacy in my house–they have the right to privacy when they are providing their own food, shelter, and clothing. That is where so many parents get it wrong and then wonder what happened to their kids.

    I have heard so many times “I wish I had the courage to do that”. Courage? Since when do we need to be courageous to raise children? Again the day that I have to be afraid of my kids is the day that they earn the right to leave my house. Again job well done and you are a man of your word because you kept your promise. I promised my kid that the next time she chose to abuse her cell phone privileges that she would indeed lose the privilege of texting until she could pay for it herself and yep that’s gone too. She can only text family, coaches, and teammates.

    I really enjoyed reading your responses!

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  21. This parent did an excellent job. If more Fathers took interest in their children, America would not have so many people in prison. As a black man with MD, raising 3 little ones, I have to “stand up” and say thank you for being a man who loves and cares for his offspring. Also, thanks for being a supporter of the MDA.

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  23. Good job sir,parenting in todays fast paced world isn’t easy. To much expect and not enough respect. Thank you for the eye opener and prayers to you’r family.

  24. Mr. Jordan and family – I want to applaud you and your actions. I watched GMA this morning and read your total interview with them. I know you didn’t intend for the whole world to see this but I commend you. My husband and I raised our kids exactly the same way. They knew there were consequences for everything. Their friends knew if they came to our house and misbehaved they would be asked to leave and a phone call to their parents would be made before they even got out of the drive. Parents would call us – “is so and so there?” “yep!” “Ok that’s all we needed to know.” We loved that the kids loved to flock to our place but they also knew what would happen. Caught our youngest racing down our street with a classmate on the day they had gotten out of drivers ed. Well the buddy in his car thought it was no big deal and smarted off to hubby. Needless to say hubby dropped him off at his house and told him not to come back till he was told he could. Well several weeks passed and he came by rollerblading and I was outside – he asked if he could come back. Well yes but do you know how to act? I’m FB friends with so many of the kids that I worked with in school and that were in my kids classes I hope because of the respect we had/have for each other. Once again we applaud what you did and know you didn’t need the stress of CPS and police.

  25. I think that you give your daughter plenty of love and decipline! She sounds like she is a good girl and knows she is loved but fell short for a little bit and was probably trying to impress some kids! Keep her close by and keep doing what you are doing! Oh yea, open bids on the laptop! She sounds like she is gonna be an entrapreneur!

  26. Congratulations! I totally agree with you Mr Jordan….all decision have consequences..we as parents need to parent and stop allowing the “system” to parent our kids…maybe we’ll have less of them in prison, on drugs, in gangs and just running amuck!

  27. Mr. Jordan,
    As always, you are a pleasure to read. What you have done in answering these ABC questions so thoughtfully and clearly could never be done with mainstream media, and you know it. (LOL) This would be shredded up in to sound bites that would become a gross distortion of your intent. No political or religious entity has a trademark on good parenting and teaching right from wrong. This is why even in a rather divided country today, you have overwhelming support from parents from all walks of life who parent from their heart and not from daytime TV or Google. I am considered a progressive on many social issues etc, but I am very old school when it comes to parenting, personal responsibility, teenagers getting a job, etc. Otherwise, you have kids (actually adults by then) who’s first hint of adult responsibility as they enter college is their first credit card offer. Unfortunately many of these kids have little to no background in basic finance/paying bills/taxes/saving money. Sorry Dr. Phil, kids “should” understand consequences waaaay before age 15. The criminal justice system has woken up to that fact and so should you. I say “should” because if society continues to lower the bar for kids and teens then we will have a nation of people in the future that will be considered developmentally delayed by today’s standards.

  28. Mr. Jordan, I admire not only what you did but your response to what little criticism you received afterward.
    My question though is who is the manufacturer of your 1911?
    Thanks!

  29. I just want to say that you are an awesome parent and a great example that others should follow. Your daughter EARNED her punishment and you should not feel bad about the fact that the whole world saw what happened. That in itself is avaluable lesson for her and others!

    Now about that presidential run, you have my vote!

  30. I think you are great and it may be stressful, your daughter was given a very valuable lesson. If we had more ‘in your face’ parenting then we wouldn’t have some of the issues that we have! SO keep up the good work!!

  31. JUST LEAVE THE GUY ALONE!!!! IT’S HIS WAY OF DEALING WITH THINGS. IF YOU WANT TO THROW THINGS AT HIM AND CALL HIM NAMES WELL THINK OF IT THIS WAY. IT WAS HIS WAY OF COPING WITH IT. DID HE HIT HIS DAUGHTER OR EVEN SHOOT HER? NO IT WAS HER LAPTOP THAT HE BOUGHT AND REPAIRED AND EVEN SPENT MORE MONEY ON. HE SHOULD NOT HAVE THIS MUCH “DRAMA” GOING ON WITH HIS LIFE. I WOULD SHAKE HIS HAND IF I EVER GOT THE CHANCE TO. I WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY STAND NEXT TO HIM AND SHOOT THAT DAMN LAPTOP MYSELF. JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE HE CAUSED NO HARM.

    • You’re right… if all he did was shoot up a laptop then, yes, he should *not* have this much drama. He *would* not. Posting it on the Internet changed all that. Do not defend someone against “unwanted attention” when the action they took was, by nature, attention-getting. Its unthinking emotional responses like yours that empower some of the worst behavior in this world — in fact, your (all caps in “screaming”, by the way) comments ring of the semi-popular “LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE” meme that was making its rounds about two years ago. If he truly valued being “left alone” over making a statement he wouldn’t have felt the need to show the Internet how he kept his “promise” to put a bullet in his daughter’s laptop. Cause and effect — you screaming isn’t going to change that.

      Ex libris veritas.

  32. Thank you for your boldness and willing to stand up. As parents, we aren’t given a manual when our children are born. We basically “play it by ear” and hope that we are doing a good job. Too many times when our children screw up as adults the parents are blamed. However, people tend to forget that everyone has a free will, and if as an adult your child screws up, they need to blame themselves and not their parents for their actions. I applaud you for your boldness and pray peace upon your family.

  33. Being a step mother who’s step daughter chose to come live with her at age 15, pretty messed up I might add by her own biological mother, I can appreciate all that Tommy did and is doing.
    It is not easy to parent children when there is a situation like this. My step daughter chose to do something nasty to us which involved police and honestly it really changed us all. Sadly, the trust between her father, myself and her will need to be rebuilt. We as the secondary parents have worked hard to get her where she needs to be and it is not easy at all.

  34. G’Afternoon, Mr. Jordan!
    I’d like to say right off…GREAT JOB, I applaud YOU!! When I first watched your You-Tube video, well, I was absolutely amazed at the firm hand you took in your parenting. You did what what so many of us parents of teenagers wish we had the gumption to do!! Speaking of teenage girls, I am the parent of an almost 15 yr old girl myself, so I totally relate to you, dude! My daughter is just a wonderful, sweet, helpful, caring, loving, fabulous sense of humor, intelligent, beautiful, big-hearted, motivated young lady, also an A student, and light of my life. However, like most teenage girls her age, she has those “moments” and I believe you know what I am speaking of, Mr. Jordan. LOL! Those moments I am speaking of are nothing serious, I don’t mean she’s doing anything criminal, but just those teenage girl moments where everything can be going along just fine and suddenly it all changes in a matter of seconds!! In our house we can go from happy happy, joy joy to OH SH.. WHO tripped her trigger in seconds!!! LOL! I’ve already raised a young man who is now living on his own, and having raised a boy and still raising a girl, I can say boys are easier at this point!! BUT, I would not trade raising either of my children for anything, not one thing in this world. Parenting, sometimes as frustrating as it has been, and yes stressful, has been the absolute most rewarding “job” I’ve ever done in my entire life. I don’t find it as a job, because I love being a parent and mother so incredibly much. I’d just like to say again, Mr. Jordan, KUDOS TO YOU!!! You Sir-Dude, are an an awesome dad, who clearly loves his daughter, cares about her too, and wants her to grow up to be a respectful/productive adult. You are not afraid to discipline your daughter, and old school at that, like when you and I were youngins’, that is what I truly love about it!! Keep up the good work and good parenting, Mr. Jordan, and do NOT listen to the critics, they don’t know their hiney from their elbow!!

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  36. To everyone who believes spanking is a perfectly fine way of discipline:
    I think we can all agree that the ideal parent is the one who raises the ideal child, without ever punishing it. One who only uses the carrot, never the stick. If not, I am inclined to label you as a sadist.

    Assuming you agree with the above, do you not also agree that we should strive for this ideal? Sure, we will most likely never get there. But that is not the point. The point is that we recognise the stick as tool flawed parent uses. We are all flawed, imperfect, bound to make mistakes, that is what makes us human. And thus, we either use the stick or raise an imperfect child. Actually, we will never raise a perfect child either way, but using the stick may get us closer. The more you use the carrot, and the less you use the stick while still raising you child properly, the closer you are to achieving the ideal.

    Back to the topic at hand, I believe putting bullets in your daughter’s laptop may be excusable. It just means have failed to raise your daughter properly. I hope I will never have to do anything that extreme. I would feel like a terrible parent.

    To sum up: I believe Mr. Jordan may have done the right thing, shooting his daughter’s laptop. It depends on how much he has failed as a parent previously. ‘Fail’ is a harsh word, but I cannot think of a better word right now.

    • … >_> Oh, you did *not* just bait this discussion.

      Challenge accepted.

      Your argument is fundamentally flawed from the second sentence on. If we replace the word ‘ideal’ with the word ‘dream’ in your first comment the inanity and unreality of it becomes self-evident — simply, you assume that a rewards-only system can build the kind of character and personal fortitude that a child will need as an adult. That isn’t how the real world works. The police don’t exist to give people a pat on the back for keeping the laws and being nice; they’re investigators and enforcers, pushing back when the line of legality and civil order is pushed. That’s just one example of how inverted a “no punishments” upbringing is from the real world. To properly prepare a child for real life a mix of rewards and punishments is not just needed but quintessential. Thus the “stick”, as you put it, is no less worthy than the “carrot” — both, quite honestly, have the power to ruin from overuse, one from causing damage and the other by breeding entitlement and sloth.

      I’m not here to defend or attack this man’s approach to child rearing and discipline — read my earlier comments if you don’t believe me. Quite honestly, I don’t care either way. No two children are the same and what breaks one will make another one stronger. But considering that you basically derailed this site / discussion for an opportunity to champion your unrealistic ideals (in opposition to the ‘spanking crowd’; how’d we even get talking about that, pray tell?) *someone*, in this case me, was going to come along eventually and challenge you. I’m pretty sure you were even banking on it, given the way you started your post. But nobody expects a troll with a top-hat and monocle and that, my good sir/madam Anonymous, is what you just got.

      Go peddle your one-legged stool of a parenting philosophy somewhere where someone might actually *care*… unless you’re so naive as to think you’ve got one up on the smartest troll in the thread. Leave whether this man has ‘failed’ or not to the test of time and go back to dangling carrots in front of fat babies.

      • Nascent,
        Yeah I didn’t even bother trying to reply to that guy. There’s just some people you can’t argue with.

        According to his post, he’s from Denmark (so has a completely different cultural upbringing which I won’t pretend to understand), is 17 years old (which makes him unable to say anything on the matter from a position of experience) and lastly.. I really don’t care what his opinion is on me as a parent unless he actually IS one.

        I don’t take computer advice from tire salesmen. I don’t care car advice from bakers, and I certainly don’t take worry about parenting advice from a kid in another country who has no understanding of the culture he’s referencing aside from what he may or may not have read on the Internet.

        • i’m not overly religious but an Epicopal preacher (I’m Baptist, just to show i’ll listen to anyone…aka…hear them out) once told the congregation i was with “The Board of Education needs to be applied to the seat of knowledge.”

          We were raised that way, but we just called it “getting a spanking.”

  37. Despite disagreeing with your parenting style (Hardly surprising; I live in a different country with an entirely different culture regarding such things) I do applaud you for trying to produce polite, respectful children, rather than just letting them run wild like a great deal of your fellow countrymen (not to mention mine) seem content to.

    However I’d like to respectfully object to the implication that by not punishing your children you end up with screw-ups. “To the critics; Hey, you raise your children however you want. Mine don’t have criminal records, don’t skip school, don’t fail classes, and they’re polite.” Not once as a teenager was I ever punished by my parents as my siblings and I were treated as adults and expected to behave as such. This was not to say that there were never disagreements, but these were resolved diplomatically, as you would with any other adult.

    I’m not criticizing your parenting style, what works for you, works for you, but I am defending my parent’s style, because there’s more than one way to skin a cat (metaphorically).

    Peace.

    • You’re absolutely right in your comments. I don’t mean to imply at all that anyone’s method is wrong, just that I turned out OK, and thus far my kids have too, so I feel how we do it works for our family. It certainly wasn’t my first resort… and I can’t take it back, so from now on I just do what I’ve always done from here on out.. the best I can.

  38. I think we can all agree that the ideal parent is the one who raises the ideal child, without ever punishing it. One who only uses the carrot, never the stick. If not, I am inclined to label you as a sadist.

    Assuming you agree with the above, do you not also agree that we should strive for this ideal? Sure, we will most likely never get there. But that is not the point. The point is that we recognise the stick as tool flawed parent uses. We are all flawed, imperfect, bound to make mistakes, that is what makes us human. And thus, we either use the stick or raise an imperfect child. Actually, we will never raise a perfect child either way, but using the stick may get us closer. The more you use the carrot, and the less you use the stick while still raising you child properly, the closer you are to achieving the ideal.

    Back to the topic at hand, I believe putting bullets in your daughter’s laptop may be excusable. It just means have failed to raise your daughter properly. I hope I will never have to do anything that extreme. I would feel like a terrible parent.

    To sum up: I believe Mr. Jordan may have done the right thing, shooting his daughter’s laptop. It depends on how much he has failed as a parent previously. ‘Fail’ is a harsh word, but I cannot think of a better word right now.

  39. Tommy, High five again!!! WE have two Chances in our lives, Chance Sr, my son in law, and Chance Jr. our grand baby… some do get 2 Chances in life!!! =)

  40. Omg yr replying to everyone.. Well.. Like your technique, your wish for privacy and the fact you are married to a vet rocks.. We are a weird bunch and not at all consistent. I think you did just fine.. Sadly the fact you are photogenic will haunt you in this if you were 100 lbs overweight and sweating I seriously doubt it would have gone viral.. Might hunt your brand of ciggarretts up for a photo shoot.. More $ lol..I don’t have kids but thought much about how I’d bring them up and given I’ve raised many dogs.. The cookie pushers aka all positive reward is not the best.. My sister is a prime example.. Kid never was told no .. Until she had bf (#6bronc riding ch one year) that made him work.. Lots of melt downs.. Pansy kid.flunked first quarter at college, stacked car and they still paid for car insurance, apt and allowance.. I was not raised that way.. . But its CA with guilty parents .. You if I lived near you I would wish to know your family.. Specially the vet. . Hang in .. It’s tapering off.. Love the clarity.

    • You’re a vet? Very cool. What kind?

      And no, I’m not replying to everyone, but I’m certainly trying to get to some of them now and again. lol.

  41. First dear sir, I would like to applaud you for not getting swallowed up in this media frenzy. Secondly, on how you have stood by your life/child rearing priciples. I have a very similar story that happened to me and my own dad, but I believe him to being even more hardcord than yourself. The year was 1984, and I was a freshman in high school. My own father was the local school board president, local dentist, a very well known and respected man of the community. I made a choice to try weed for the first time at one of our hometown football games. My father was told of my experimentation, and confronted me that evening after the game. (many years later, when joking and laughing about the incident with my dad, I learned one of my friends had “ratted” me out, word travels fast in a small community). I looked him dead in the eye for over 2 hours and lied through my teeth. My father’s parenting philosophy mirrored your own, and he was not a man to be lied to or tangled with, although he always showed great love and respect for his children. He eventually called my bluff and told me to get in the car, we were going to town to the local police station for a drug test they had waiting to administer on me. The year being 1984, I’m sure there was no test in that short of notice, but my dad was a man who could get things done, and I caved and told the truth. I was sent to bed while my dad considered my consequences for my actions. The next morning I was told to bring all jeans/pants to the backyard where we had an incendiary on our property. He then sent me back into the house while He proceeded to burn all all of my jeans/pants. I was devastated to say the least. He came back into the house and told me the rest of my punishment, I from that day forward would only wear dresses and skirts to school until he decided different. I hated to wear dresses of any kind, dresses were for church. He made sure the priciple and teachers knew so I couldn’t have my friends bring me jeans to slip on at school or any school function. This continued until my senior year when he finally decided I could wear jeans again. Now one of the many points to this story is, Did the punishment fit the crime?? To me, No. But to my dad, I’m sure it did. He was in protection mode of his only daughter and he wasn’t going to let me go down a path he deemed destructive. He always had a ceative way of consequenses to get me and my brothers attention. I respected, loved and adored my daddy till the day he died a couple years ago. I am now 42 and have had the pleasure to of laughed and given my dad a “hard time” about this and several other ways of creative consequences. Was it devestating at the time? Absolutely! But I can recognize it for what it was at the time. A father showing love and concern for his child and wasn’t going to let her go down that particular path. One day, you and Hannah will look back on this time and laugh till you cry, She will be raising her own children perhaps, she will call you and tell the creative ways of parenting she has come up with. You have to think outside the box in today’s world and you did just that. I applaud you, and wish there were more parents like you and my father in this world.

  42. What strikes me most about a viral video that manages to garner 28 million plus hits is the tremendous need for open discussion on the challenges of parenting. Mr. Jordan is not claiming to be “father of the year”, nor is he suggesting that a 45 colt is the best choice in parental discipline, but I, for one, applaud the resolve with which he set out to execute the precise punishment that was promised. Evidently, “he swore to his own hurt” since he had just invested a lot on money into the laptop. This generation is lacking in parents that feel the need to teach their children respect, obedience, and etiquette. The only way a child can be taught these things is by experiencing the sting of consequences for unacceptable behavior. Unfortunately, a laptop had to be destroyed. If he had used the kind of corporal punishment that his father and grandfather had used in the form of a switch out behind the woodshed, CPS would have brought the wrath of the state down on him. I didn’t say the wrath of God because I personally believe that God is in favor of his parenting methods. Only time will prove how effective they were.

  43. I do not have kids, but I did work as a full time nanny for several months. There is nothing more frustrating than working with kids, good kids, who are not given limits. The only way people grow is by working with in a structure. My dad would have done the exact same thing. If my grandfather had been around, he would have been the one filming. I don’t have to be ‘Red-Neck’ to know what’s right sir. Thank you for your contribution.

    Also, thank you for keeping control of your media responses. It’s so good to see the honest side of the story. Please keep up the good work.

  44. We’re a bunch of volunteers and opening a brand new scheme in our community. Your website provided us with useful info to paintings on. You have performed an impressive job and our entire neighborhood shall be thankful to you.

  45. Tommy Jordan. would you not support any GOP candidate that is homophobic and want to put gay rights back 30 years. It would be a great lesson for your daughter to teach her respect for all people regardless of sexual orientation.

    • >_> … Really?! Didn’t you pay attention to the *last* person who tried to hijack this discussion to soapbox their own sociopolitical views? McGee, the GOP and homosexuality are COMPLETELY unrelated to (A) Mr Jordan’s video, (B) Mr Jordan’s actions, and (C) THE ENTIRE REST OF WHAT’S BEEN SAID. Kindly take your advocacy into a more suitable discussion — this one is neither about nor, apparently, *for* you.

      Ex libris veritas.

      • Brian,
        If I remember right, Nascent and I disagreed on something previously, but on this one we’re in complete agreement. This is NOT a forum for my political views on anything related to what you just posted. If I do a post about gay/lesbian/TG rights, then I’d consider it an appropriate venue. Otherwise, stay on topic.. or go play somewhere else.

        Right now, I’m more concerned about getting my daughter to say Yes Sir and Yes Ma’am more than I am in her political/socio-sexual beliefs. If that ever comes up and gets put on youtube, I’ll be sure to let you know.. until then….

        • Mr. Jordan

          I guess an easy way to get her to say “Yes Sir and Yes Ma’am” and might just be a little bit over board but it is something that while in the service was call “Age Waver Boot Camp” Yes they have to be 18 and out of High School, however they can join at the age of 17 maybe 16 with sign approval. I know this while I was waiting to ship out and buddy was waiting to finish High School for his ship date.
          Another 2 things that I’m confused on:
          1) Not sure if you posted or if corrected someone else…at some place I THOUGHT there was a posting stated that you had military back ground. I understand if you are not comfortable about talking about it. Had a few other guys get the raw deal but got out with Honorable Discharge and/or Honorable Medical Discharge. I’ll leave that alone unless you few like you’d like to talk about it maybe someone outside of the box could give a different point of view.
          2) I remembered you posted on you FB that “it was the dog that ratted her out”. What happened to the dog? Did you daughter punish the dog or did you give the dog a treat? Is your daughter still mad at the pup? So that would bring the million dollar question:
          What training had you given your dog to use the computer since it would have been the dog that ratted her out and not the computer programs?
          Thanks for the minute of your time.

          • Lol. Surprisingly enough, she never seemed mad at the dog! Bonnie (the dog) is great and Hannah is great. And yes… I’m a decent parent, but I’m an awesome dog trainer! You should see the dog cut the grass!

  46. It’s frustrating when holding a child accountable for their own actions can result in some well-meaning busybody calling a government agency that has the authority to take your child(ren) from you. I’ve experienced that horror first-hand. My husband and I are doing our best to raise polite, productive, self-sufficient people with our kids. We love them enough to enforce reasonable rules and when they are broken, our children face appropriate consequences (which have been communicated in advance, and are no surprise). But even knowing that our children are loved, happy, and healthy, with decent clothes that fit, nutritious food, a home with beds and heat and more than a few luxuries; someone felt that suffering some cold water in the shower after the child’s shower had gone on too long and was making everyone late for school/work was “excessive discipline” and warranted a call to CPS.

    I have never felt fear like that before as a parent, and I hope that I never do again. For 16 oz of cool tap water, our children were interviewed, my husband and I were interviewed, our home was invaded and inspected, and then came the weeks-long wait, with us not knowing if our child(ren) would just be picked up from school and taken away.

    Online, I see a lot of things that are being done to strip away a parent’s ability to choose how to raise their own children. From the “everyone is a mandated reporter” laws to third-parties being able to petition the courts for rights to visit children over their parents’ objections to the UN treaty under consideration that would put us under international regulations that would outlaw spanking, the government is gradually eating away at the foundations of strong families. Like yours. Like mine.

    I might not have shot up the laptop (I have an Xbox sitting in my closet for the foreseeable future at the moment, though. No plans to shoot it. Yet.) but I do applaud you for following through on your word to your child. As harsh as it may seem, your being reliable and steady builds trust, it doesn’t diminish it. I wish you and your family the best.

  47. To all those who were asking about the software I use to protect my kids:

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    You can protect your children AND support the MDA cause we’ve been pushing so hard for, both at the same time and there’s no extra cost to do it! We are now officially the ONLY place on the web that can do this. Its AWESOME! Come check it out at http://8minutesoffame.com/eblaster/.

    If you have questions about the product or need to know more about how to use it or install it, we can even help with that too! Comment and share the link!!

  48. Your the greatest dude/guy ever. I’m only 18 but if my parents ever did what you did. I would be less spoiled and perhaps less arrogant in my ways. Your making me take notes for when I have a kid. haha thanks!

  49. Mr. Jordan & Family,
    I just wanted to say, to you all, that I applaud you for not only the way you are dealing with all of this but more importantly for standing by your actions regardless of the feedback you have gotten, both negative and positive. That, as you obviously know, is what being a good parent is about…you make your decision, stick to your guns and keep doing the best you can. On behalf of me and my family, which incidentally includes two teenagers who also agree; good for you, for ALL of you. Your daughters reaction, I believe needs to be applauded as well, that in itself shows that she knows she is loved. She was upset but she accepted it and hasn’t blown it out of proportion or used it for attention seeking the way (unfortunately) many teenagers would. That is a prime example right there of ‘good raising’. I somehow doubt we will be seeing her on a ‘pole’ in the future and think it is a shame that some would assume that truly being parented would ruin a child’s life, its the lack of parenting that is doing that. So I just wanted you to know that we admire what you did and how your family chose to handle the backlash and we do it from a position of one family to another; not requiring you to be anymore than a normal family trying to do what is best while learning and teaching as you go. I imagine it can not be easy to have your parenting and family dynamics open for the world to scrutinize but it sounds like you have a strong family unit and will make it just fine, though I do not envy you the journey :-)

  50. Actually Naseant, its totally related, he talks about teaching his daughter respect, but it doesn’t seem like respect for all, he has also continue to put ads on his sites, thus making money out of the incident.

    It seems people here hang on his every word, so if he is going to support say Rick or Ron, the respect thing goes out the window, well he respects straight people I guess.

    • Well, it’s clear you have no bloody idea what’s going on McGee. It’s also clear that everything is about homosexual rights and political leverage for you and that, despite having it right in front of you on the computer screen, you can’t even be *bothered* to spell my username right. You also apparently can’t find the ‘Reply ↓’ button under my post either, but that’s neither here nor there.

      Let me set the story straight — it might be the *only* straight thing you’ve gotten in a long time, I might add. Mr Jordan’s intention, as expressed, was to teach his daughter to respect the family that has supported and raised her, from whom she derives her sustenance, her privileges, and, I might add, her laptop. This is not ideological, it’s simple gratitude. It isn’t a lesson that takes even a single second to ask “what if she had two daddies instead of one” or whatever formulation of alternate lifestyle you might put forth — in fact, it’s irrelevant simply by the fact that WHOM a person should be grateful to does not in any way rely on sexual orientation. If someone living halfway across the world who’d been born (somehow) genderless had supported Mr Jordan’s daughter emotionally and materially as much as he had then, by Mr Jordan’s own logic, that person would have as much right to be offended by such comments as she made about him in her Facebook posting. Gender, whether mental or physical, simply is not a factor of gratitude in its base form and it is the expectation of basic gratitude, McGee, and its inverse, ingratitude, that inspired Mr Jordan’s actions and YouTube posting. Right, wrong, or otherwise, THAT is what happened.

      He never ONCE commented on socio-sexual politics. Never ONCE uttered the name of any political candidate. Never ONCE suggested, even marginally, that he was attempting to infuse his politics or his views on sex into his daughter’s life. Pragmatically speaking, they’ve probably had some conversations on those very things, but you won’t find them on YouTube, McGee. Your notion that he needs to teach her to respect those who support gay rights means you have gone above and beyond simply hijacking his fame for your soapbox — you’ve injected something so utterly foreign into the discussion that the only objective conclusion is that you, McGee, see EVERYTHING around you through a lens of gay rights and political power to the point where you invent, whole-cloth, explanations and expectations of people’s actions that fit your one-sided world view. And, mind you, this is not “hate speech” — yes, I know you’re gonna go there anyway, but it’s not. This is me giving my fully evaluated opinion, rather objectively I’d say, as is my legally assured right. On which note: what business do you, and in fact pretty much everyone else in this discussion, have telling Mr Jordan what set of views and values he has to raise his daughter with? The brilliance of America is in a multiplicity of dialoging perspectives, not the blind assertion of a single vocal group with a social engineering agenda that everyone needs to “respect” them, support them, agree with them, fund them, vote for them, and ultimately overturn the free will and conscience of anyone who says otherwise, all in favor of “rights”.

      Guess what McGee. There are already gay rights. They’re right there with the straight rights, the bi rights, the colored rights, the white rights, the EVERYBODY rights in the Bill of Rights. If it’s not enough for your sub-culture to get the same legal ‘respect’ as every other American then that itself says so very, very much.

      Conclusion:

      This is not, no matter how much you might wish it were otherwise, a “culturally sensitive gay rights through better, more coercive politics” discussion. This is a discussion about Mr Jordan, who took his .45 and blew the silicon brains out of a laptop to prove a point. And that point was not that his daughter needed to vote for a biologically unsustainable lifestyle advocate. His point, McGee, was that she had been rude. Very, very rude.

      Kinda like you.

      • I believe he did “utter the name of a [a] political candidate”. (Ron Paul) It’s on his FB page if you want to go look for it.

        • Did he “utter the name” in his video, Pas-something-or-other? If so I certainly don’t remember it. Let’s have the time-stamp for the comment, minutes and seconds. If it was just a comment on his Facebook somewhere then you’ve gone off topic and missed the point I was making COMPLETELY.

          • the more you reply, the angrier they get, the more they sit back and laugh while coming up with some other inanity. just consider the source and overlook the comment

  51. Mr. Jordan,
    I have thus far kept my comments to myself, mostly because I don’t like how my words “sound” in writing. However, I must come out and say it “Good for YOU!” Not only did you forewarn your daughter that this would happen if she didn’t behave, but you followed through with your promise! I am a mother of three young boys, and I have to tell you I see so many times when a parent makes an empty threat, or fails to follow through simply because they were not prepared for the child to disobey. My parents would probably not have shot my laptop, but I guarantee if I did something so irresponsible and mean spirited online as a teen I would not have had a computer any longer! If I were in your county I would shake your hand, but I’m not so this will have to do. Again I say “Good for you!”

  52. I am not sure if you are trolling or just ignorant Brian… Considering the fact that you have no idea at all what he is teaching his daughter at home or by being a example. Yet you are quick to smear his reputation for some vague gain on your part/cause. 2nd Mr. jordan already said he was tired of everyones expectations and was going back to living his life as he normally would, which means running a business and raising money for worthy causes. Lastly as to Ron Paul last time I checked he believes in liberty, freedom, and small government. Something every same sex couple should applaud, more freedom would do them some good. Its people small minded people like you that give them a bad name. As usual, my respect and good wishes to you and your family Mr. Jordan. Hopefully you wont allow people like him to derail your amazing site.

    Zachary

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  54. I would like to know where your wife is a vet, I just moved back to my hometown and need a vet for my poodle that I adore! If you guys are that good of parents then she must be a great vet and I need a good one for my poodle which I consider my child!
    By the way, Kudos to you!

    • My wife is a vet in Albemarle, North Carolina, but she is a large animal veterinarian, so she works on horses, cattle, etc.. basically farm animals. We’d love to help out but she’s not equipped at her facility for small animal treatments. You’d need a small-animal veterinarian instead. We both really appreciate you offering to send us your business though! That was very kind of you! Now… if you ever get into cattle-raising……

  55. I would like to say good job. I have raised three children ON MY OWN. My boys are 23 and 21 and my daughter just turned 18. I have GREAT children. My ex was around but was no help in raising these children. I taught my boys how to pull out chairs and open doors for ladies and how to shake hands to make good impressions to EVERYONE they meet. My children didn’t grow up with their own laptops (one computer in the living room) with me having ALL passwords or no computer. Nor did they grow up with cell phones or Ipods until they could buy them themselves. I kept them involved in sports and art (my second son is the hippy of the family and I love him for it). I have also done things that people would think “devastated” the growth of my children. My one son decided to make a pop bottle bomb when he was about nine. I called the police at first because he and his friends said someone else had thrown it at them. I found out the truth before the police arrived and explained the situation to him. He asked “What would you like me to do”? I said “Scare the hell out of them”. He did and we all moved forward.
    I also have to tell you that every Valentines Day I showed up at school with candy and a large stuffed animal and delivered it right to them in their classroom. Right up until they graduated high school. They were embarrassed but every other kid in the class would say “I wish my mom would do that”.
    So, yes you embarrassed your child…from my experience they survive. There are ways to embarrass and there are ways to embarrass (my own mother had no problems telling everyone she met that I was a “floozy and idiot”. Those damage. I think what we did/do are things that can be passed on and laughed about.
    I know that I’ve a great job because everyone that see’s my boys at their sisters hockey games tell me “Your boys are such gentlemen and they really protect and love their sister”. I am proud of them and they know they have not had the most perfect parent in the world.
    Stick to your guns (yes that was a pun)!

  56. It was a great moment Jordan, despite the show being fictional, it tends to have a realism that other sitcoms don’t have, since a lot of the discussion here is about Dads/daughters, I thought this one of the better Dad/daughter moments from a TV program.

  57. Opps sorry, the last post that I replied to, I thought was written by Tommy, but it as Nascent. My point about the latest Modern Family episode still stands.

  58. Mr. Jordan,

    I have been reading a lot of the things on your site and I would just like to say that I think it is wonderful that you care so much to make sure your kids turn out right. Kids today do not respect anyone, they want everything handed to them, and do not want to work hard for anything. That being said I am about to be 28 and I have a son that is about to be 6 and I try to raise him the way I was raised. I am going to quote something you said “when my kids act up I just sit back and think what my Mom did to me when I did something like that. Then I probably wince a little at the memory and go do some variation on the same.” I am the same way, heck there are times I even call my parents and tell them what I have tried and ask them what they think and what they would do (I know someone is probably going to say something about that like “your an adult raise your own kid” and what not but I have a child that has not only ADHD but also ODD and sometimes I just need a different view on some things). When I was young my parents raised me to always be polite and to respect anyone older then me, it seems like kids are not being taught that much anymore. And even though I, sadly, hated my parents at the time because I thought they were being to hard one me and unfair, once I moved out on my own I realized that they were great and even though I always said, when I was a kid, that I would never raise my child they way they raised me, I realize now that it’s because of the way they raised me that I turned out the way I am today. I thank my parents everyday for helping to mold me into the good person I am and I hope that one day my son will feel the same way.

    So again I just want to say I think it is great that you are raising your kids the way you feel is right. It is no one else s business how you raise your kids as long as they are being taken care of and loved. Bringing them up with good values and respect are a great way of doing that, even if they do not see it that way now.

  59. Keeping this short and simple.

    As Parenting goes, It’s about participation, not perfection. We strive to be perfect, but may not always be. Parents must always participate, ACTIVELY! for when we do not, we fail both our children and ourselves.

    Kudo’s to you for being there.

  60. Just to start,very well done.I too grew up in the age when if you screwwed up whether at home,a friends or in town ,your parents or their friends NO MATTER who saw you do it you were in trouble right then,not to mention the phone call that was already on its way home ahead of you so that your parents knew too.There was never any question,you did wrong you got in trouble for it.My parents would have done the same as you,and I have done close to this myself for my daughters,wasnt a laptop and I didnt shoot it but an 8lb sledgehammer still makes a mess of a cellphone after you tell them that if they continue to abuse the privelege of having one you pay for,youre going to smash it.Do I love my daughters any less than someone that gives theirs everything,no and you sir dont either.Actually I feel you and I probablly love ours more than they do because we want ours to have very positive values,and to understand the consequences of their actions.Again congratulations and good parenting.

  61. So, after being outnumbered 400 to 28 mils, and dealing with people stares out of embarrassment day in day out, has she killed her self yet (literally)? you still gonna have them smirks on your face by then?

  62. Sorry for asking this to many times, but I feel that its a question that hasnt been asked before or answered.

    How do the parent’s of Hannah’s friends, feel , that you have been reading their daughters private emails to Hannah?

  63. AMEN AMEN AMEN!!!!
    You did the right thing. What you do to discipline your child is your business. It shouldn’t matter what others think is right or wrong. Your daughter would have never learned her lesson if this never happened. Facebook is such a bad place for anything to be posted. Someone can see something and it could go all around the world in 2 minutes and be completely blown out of proportion. Those out there that are being negative wouldn’t like it if their child posted something so rude on Facebook. Children who get away with everything grow up thinking that, and it gets them into so much trouble as teens and adults. Here in Mississippi, you grow up in the Bible Belt, you were taught how to respect your parents. I’m glad there are still parents like you out there. I am only 20 years old and I congratulate you. I hope you have a great life, keep up the great work. You deserve the father of the year award.

  64. When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks!

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