Response to Dr. Phil

Two days ago, the NBC Today show with Matt Lauer hosted Dr. Phil via satellite for an interview to gather his response to the YouTube video I’d posted about my daughter, Hannah. To be fair to Dr. Phil, I kind of asked for it. Two days earlier I posted the following on Facebook:

Dr. Phil: You've GOT to have taken a running jump way outside the bounds of sanity 
if you think I'd subject my family to your show. You've called almost EVERY day
and you're now trying to track down my wife at work? Dude... NO. I can save you
the studio expense of flying us out there. Your version is "I'm an
uneducated over-aggressive father who doesn't understand how to raise my kids
and you think my daughter simply MUST require years of intensive therapy for
being subjected to such torture as losing her laptop."
She doesn't need therapy, but she would by the time you finished with her!

Having had the chance to reflect on it a few days, I’ve decided that wasn’t the smartest thing to have said to a national media presence with the education and fan-base Dr. Phil has. Nevertheless, I seem to be learning repeatedly something I’ve been telling people forever; once it’s on Facebook, you can’t take it back. In my defense, people on national television have entire panels of people who are paid to stop them and say “No, you absolutely shouldn’t say that.” I am sans that particular advantage, so I’m just doing the best I can to muddle through.

Anyway, I was quite amazed to hear Dr. Phil, a CBS personality was going to be interrupting the normal Today Show lineup scheduled, just to weigh in on the video. I figured he was most likely going to do his best to throw me under the bus. It is to his credit that I have to truthfully admit, he did not. He didn’t agree with me on just about anything I said but he did so tastefully, which is more than I can say for a few of the panelists on The View a day or so earlier.

My YouTube Intro Response

I posted a YouTube intro earlier today where I briefly cover some of these topics, but this blog post contains all the nuts and bolts in detail. If you haven’t seen it, you can watch it below.

 

If you haven’t seen his excerpt, you can watch it below. (You’ll likely have to deal with an MSNBC ad first, sorry. I have no control over that one.)

Dr. Phil’s Broadcast on NBC

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

The first couple of minutes are commentary. The interview with Dr. Phil McGraw starts at about 2:43 seconds into the video.

You can watch it for yourself, but I’m going to respond individually to the things he says in his response.

I’m “mouthy”?
His first analytical response is “This is a real mouthy kid; wonder where she got that?”

I’m not exactly sure how to respond to that one, but I think considering the emotional state I was in at the time, I did fairly well to be as composed as I was. I was mad, hurt, disappointed, and frustrated… but with the single exception of the word “ass” (which I’ve already said I regretted) I didn’t consider my response to be overly vulgar or “mouthy” as he put it.

15 Year Old Brain
His next comment, and I take a lot of issue with this one, is “That’s the problem here. She has a fifteen-year-old brain, where you can’t really expect her to be able to predict all the consequences of her actions and weigh this stuff out, but he got down to her level.”

Dr. Phil with all due respect sir, you are the second psychologist (plus one social worker) I’ve heard within two weeks state that by fifteen years old a child in today’s world can’t actually be expected to reasonably forecast the consequences of their actions. I fundamentally, and respectfully, think you’re off your rocker to think that. And if parent’s raise kids that way, we are in for a world of hurt when these irrational, unthinking kids take over our country in the next ten years.

Within six months of my daughter’s current age the NCDMV  seems to agree that it’s ok to let someone this age get out on the street in a motor vehicle and drive our highways, but you think they’re too ignorant to be held accountable for their actions because they’re incapable of understanding cause and effect. Can we agree that the basic principle you’re arguing is that children her age don’t understand cause and effect, or consequences to use a different term?

I had to take a moment and go check for myself, but thank God not everyone agrees with you. Here’s a link to a 3rd grade class lesson on the subject. Here’s a link to a 5th grade class lesson on the subject. So if I had to argue the point, I’d say she’s probably been learning this lesson for the last 7 years or so (since 3rd grade) and that if she didn’t get it by now, she needed some additional help getting the (hollow) point driven home!

From another perspective I think the entire conscious decision to try to block her parents, block everyone from her church, and prohibit the post from getting out there  to adults proves she had a PERFECT and CRYSTAL CLEAR understanding of the actions. She took preventative measures (she thought) to make sure we never caught her, but that her message was broadcast to a group of about 400 people. If only she’d thought to block the family dog’s Facebook profile…. I don’ t think that level of careful perpetration of her act can allow you to draw any other conclusion than that. I just don’t see it.

Public Embarrassment

At about 4:19 in the video Dr. Phil says “You never ever humiliate your child publicly. That’s just not something you do. You don’t ever do that. You’re supposed to be the adult.”  Again, I’m going to disagree with you whole-heartedly. My JOB as a parent is to make my child a fully-functioning adult in the brief few years I have left to do so. My job is to love them. My job is to provide for them. My job is to teach them. Yes, parenting is a job.. sure it is. It’s a lifetime career choice people make and you don’t get days off. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my job however.

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you haven’t done your research and read the other Facebook posts or talked to anyone related to the incidents because if you had, you would KNOW we tried the “adult” routes. Her mother tried the “adult” routes before she came to live with us. Everyone has tried the adult routes, the soft routes, the kind routes and everyone has done so unsuccessfully.

Every time some Facebook incident (as they’ve become known in our household) has happened, its resulted in a long, patient, probing conversation as to “Why do you feel that way” and “What was going on inside your head when you did this” and “help me understand where you’re coming from.” My daughter will gladly and truthfully tell you we’ve had these discussions repeatedly. Sometimes they work. Sometimes they don’t. After I tried it more than a few times your way Dr., I decided your way wasn’t working, so I tried it MY way. You know what? My way worked.

Matt Lauer goes on to read the analogy I mentioned about my own childhood experiences where I said if I did something in public, for example a grocery store, “I got my tail tore up in front of God and everybody,” but then says this example is a lot bigger than a grocery store. Mr Lauer, I respectfully disagree. It doesn’t matter. That’s my point.

The only comparable example I could give from the era of my childhood, and remember I’m only in my young 30′s so it wasn’t THAT long ago, considering the mediums available at the time for communication, would be that it’s the same as if I called up the local radio station, got on the air, and read those words out loud to the 150,000 listeners of the local station, or maybe stood on the side of the highway with a megaphone and shouted it at passing cars, or possibly painted it on a water tower. Regardless, the punishment has to fit the crime. If I’d have done that, my parents would have had me on the same radio station and you could  have heard the spankings live over the airwaves. She chose the most public, damaging, long-lasting medium in which to broadcast it on the entire planet! She didn’t choose a private diary, or have this conversation with a classmate on the bus to school. She went out intentionally to the most public venue she had and used almost every nasty word she could think of.

A couple days later, after feeling that she had gotten away with it she made yet another post picking on her brother in fairly un-nice terms. A few days after that she made a post on her Facebook wall (privately blocked from the same aforementioned people) calling another girl in her school a couple more inventive five letter words.

Keep in mind, I didn’t air all that on  the video, because I was angry enough over just this one post to not need any further reason to be upset. The point is; she felt it was OK to start posting worse and worse material on her Facebook wall, in public, for other people to see.  It was escalating and doing so quickly. So I stopped it, cold. You can dislike anyone you want, and you can even publicly say so, but if you live in my house you’d better not do it with language like that!

It wasn’t the sentiment I was against at all. Some people think we were upset because she was mad about doing chores. Of course she is. They’re CHORES! Otherwise, they’d be called fun. Duh!

Children have feelings and they SHOULD be able to release them comfortably without fear of repercussion. I know that better than most because I had a father who wasn’t that way. And I’m the luckier for it because I had a mother who WAS open to discussions about that kind of thing. With my kids I consciously compensate for it daily and try extra hard to be sure my kids know they have the right to feel angry, upset, mad, hurt, scared, happy, whatever… and that no one will pick on them for having “feelings”… but there are appropriate ways to disseminate those feelings productively in a manner that begets understanding. This wasn’t one of those ways.

Anyway, Dr Phil then agrees with Mr Lauer and says “Just because their parents humiliated him publicly; doesn’t make it right for him to do it. What we want to do is carry forward the legacies that are good, not the legacies where our parents made mistakes.”

What gives you the self-righteous audacity to assume my mother and father made mistakes raising me, or that any mother and father who spanks their kids, or publicly reprimands their kids, are making mistakes? I’m extremely proud of the fact that my parents raised me to say Ma’am to every lady I meet, Sir to every man I deal with, regardless of age, to stand when a lady comes to the dinner table, to take my hat off when I walk into a building, to open a door for any lady, young or old.

I say “yes ma’am” to my 15 year old daughter and “yes,sir” to my eight year old son because it was ingrained into me from the time I could form words! Do you know how they got that through the thick head of a teenager when that teenager was me? My mother verbally corrected me most of the time, or called me down for it, but my father (and man I can still feel it today, twenty year later) had this unique ability to simply flick me on the back of the head with his finger in such a manner as to make me think my bell had just thoroughly been rung! It left no long-lasting neurological damage (or maybe that’s why I stutter?) and had no effects to the negative except that when I forgot to open the door for a lady I instinctively cringed waiting for it to land… ooh I hated that. But you know what? I learned quickly and effectively and neither of them had to “hurt” me or “emotionally damage” me to get it through my rather-thick skull.

I’ll be danged if I’m going to sit idly and let you tell me that my parents were mistaken for raising those values up in their children. Now you’re treading on dangerous ground with me and I’m getting to where I’m just about out of respectful consideration, dude. You’re off your rocker. And I bet if NBC polled the same group of people that voted on the YouTube video, the same 73% of the American population would agree with me on this one!

Resentment?
The good Dr. Phil goes on to say that the end result is resentment on the part of my child towards me and that my actions did nothing to lower the resentment on her part.

I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that was the goal here. I didn’t realize the goal here was to make my child happy and resent doing chores less after her vitriol-filled post to the world. What the hell was I thinking? I thought it was about teaching kids respect for themselves, their parents, and for the rules.  Maybe they don’t teach you that kids should respect their parents anymore, but mine certainly will respect theirs. They might not always LIKE us, but they’ll respect us.

And in case you’re curious, I’ll give you a few definitions for that word that we so freely toss around because I think maybe some people have heard it all their life and don’t really know what it means.

Respect: 

  • deference to a right, privelege, priveleged position, or someone of something considered to have certain rights of priveleges.
  • proper acceptance or courtesy
  • acknowledgement, consideration, regard
  • honor
  • an attitude of deference
  • polite or kind regard
  • to treat courtesously or kindly
  • Verb: to refrain from interfering with
  • And the actual literal meaning of the latin word is “pay attention to”
So at the end of the day what I guess I demand of my children is that they “pay attention to” the promises made by their parents.
 
The “What are you gonna do now?” question

Dr. Phil’s point here is there is nowhere to go from here, no punishment more severe than the one she’s received. Well, maybe you’re right. I don’t know what kind of thing will happen next. If we parents knew that we’d already have the answers ready. We do the best we can with what we’ve got and we ALL look back on things and think how we’d have done them differently if given the chance.
We actually had that discussion the other night. When I was out of town she called me on the phone and we talked for awhile and the conversation worked around to “When is my grounding over?”

I explained to her that it was over when she’d learned her lesson, however long that took. And I clearly explained some of the following rules and guidelines about how things were supposed to be done. On the particular issue of respect itself, my primary points were when we (her parents) felt like she showed us respect, her grounding would end. I even shared some pointers, such as “ending sentences with “Yes, ma’am” rather than “uh-huh” and when you’re asked to do something by your parents, you simply go do it rather than stomping off and being sure to “harrumph” loud enough that we are sure to notice your displeasure.

On the other hand, it could get worse if this lesson isn’t enough. I believe whole-heartedly in spanking a child, but because of Hannah’s age I just find it personally inappropriate for a grown man to spank a teenage girl her age. I’m not saying anyone shouldn’t spank their own child, or that they should, just that I take issue with it, so I’m left with other alternatives.

She’s still allowed her iPod for the moment. That’s something that could go away if things stay how they are and don’t start to improve. If it continues, she’ll be grounded to her room every single day until her attitude improves…

I have a very very patient child, and a very very intelligent child. I explained to her that she’s always looked at grounding like a jail sentence, not like a learning experience. She finds out how long she’s grounded and manages to find alternative things to entertain herself (drawing, writing, etc) until she’s  paroled. She’s smart enough to know how to wait out her parents. She always suffers a little inconvenience but has yet to seem to actually learn a lesson from any of it.

So, if we don’t see the lesson has been learned, it will get worse. She’ll lose the iPod. Then she’ll lose the books, the colored pencils, the sketch pads. If I have to take every single thing out of her room except the four walls, bed, and dresser, so be it. Eventually she’ll have nothing to do but actually sit and THINK and use that great brain on her shoulders to see that it’s really easy to just say Yes, ma’am and No ma’am and to watch your language. The rules aren’t hard.

Chores

For the umpteenth time we covered chores and their role in acting like a team, where everyone helps everyone else out. Sure, she has to put all the dinner plates in the dishwasher sometimes. Get over it. Either me or her Mom just had to spend half an hour to an hour cooking the meal you just ate kid. You help each other out. My wife or I have to leave work early to get her to every single ball-game and band-practice that’s held after school. That’s a chore, but we do it because we love our kids and we’ve never told either of them they can’t participate in ANY school or social activity simply because it’s inconvenient for us. You don’t see me screaming up and down and saying ” I don’t want to have to drive you to band practice” do you? Everything in a family, and especially later in adult life and in adult relationships, is give and take.

If she does chores WITHOUT being reminded to do them and does them consistently, sure she gets an allowance. She’s never done them more than about two days without having to be hounded, so no, we don’t reward that with an allowance. Sorry.. get over it. You’ll either adapt, or stay broke. Wait….. that’s just like real life isn’t it?

 The Poll

All you out there reading this should know by now, I did NOT intend for any of this to happen. In fact, no one in the history of internet marketing, has ever been able to just pull something out of their hat that went this obscenely crazy in a matter of days. That’s why it’s called Viral… it spreads person to person quickly. No one could possibly have predicted the interest this video raised. Am I sorry I made it and posted to my daughter’s Facebook account? No. Am I sorry it spread like wildfire and made my daughter’s punishment an international spectacle? Absolutely. No parent wants that for their children, but at this point; it is what it is and we have to work with what we’ve been dealt.

I don’t blame NBC for polling the viewers and I don’t have any real personal pride in the fact that it proved to favor my actions. Had I asked 121,000 other people out there what they thought I should have done as punishment I feel pretty certain that less than 10% of them would have actually suggested “Hey, you should go out there and fill it full of lead.”  For whatever reason, one few moments in our lives here got put on a soapbox placard for parents across the world. My response to that is “Get off your butts and DO something about it!” If there was this much built-up frustration with parents on ANY scale (national or international) then this was a long time coming and if it hadn’t been me it would have been someone else doing something equally as drastic that would have ignited this powderkeg. But now that it’s been lit, take a stand for your rights as parents and put your kids back inline! We ALL need to. This is the generation who will be running the entire world within 30 years and they’re ONLY GOING TO KNOW what you taught them growing up. Every other action they make as an adult will be a formulated mental calculated weighted by the moral codes we instill in them now. No one’s going to do it for them once they’re adults and off on their own…

But anyway, Dr. Phil commented for the second time in 7 minutes that a lot of parents are voting vicariously because they wish they’d done that or because they’ve at one time or another fantasized about doing it themselves.

First, where does your assumption that these were parents come from? The poll didn’t ask that, though I think it should have.  And he drops a factoid that 100,000 children born this year will be molested by their father before they’re 18 years old. First, that’s irrelevant to absolutely anything this article was about. Second, if that’s the case then most of these children are admittedly going to be raised by the young children of today which people like YOU have been teaching the “NEW” way to parent for the last fifteen years or so. The old-fashioned way, as so many like to put it, aren’t the ones having new children this year, so don’t lay that crap on us. I haven’t been the talking head on the air for the last decade telling parent’s how to be parent’s. You have! Other doctor’s have. You have entire talk shows about how to do it. Don’t blame me, or parent like me, that YOUR methods of child-rearing are producing a new generation of child molesters. That’s YOUR data.. and you’ve been the ones teaching it, so I’d suggest you leave MY kid alone and go spend some time addressing that on national television instead!

This is not the most horrible parenting thing that I’ve dealt with on the show.. THIS WEEK.

Ok. I think we should address this for just a moment, since you brought it up,sir. Your previous opinion was quite clear that you’re absolutely against any parent publicly embarrassing their children for any reason….

wait for it…..

no.. really.. wait for it…..

YOU HAVE A TALK SHOW ABOUT WHERE YOU GET PAID TO DO IT ON NAITONAL TELEVISION AND SHOW IT TO MILLIONS OF PEOPLE EVERY DAY…. PROFESSIONALLY!

If you were that absolutely altruistic and followed the premise you just disagreed with me on, you would have these children on your show in closed-door sessions, working with them as hard as you could to help them through hard times. You wouldn’t be dragging them out on a national stage and airing their problems in front of the world!

Since I was so adroitly quoted again and again in newscast after newscast for ONE video that ACCIDENTALLY made it out to 27-bijillion people, let’s look at your website.

You have entire categories of related matters where you encourage rude, spoiled, entitled people to come on your show so you can set them straight.  Let’s quote:

Here’s one titled “MOOCHING Adult Child Doesn’t Get it?”

The description reads “Are you having trouble getting your ADULT child off his/her butt — to get a job and help out the family financially?  Do they live with you now –OR are they about to move back in? Do you have grown children who are used to getting whatever they want and now — when times are tough and money is tight  — they CONTINUE to spend? Are you frustrated?… sick and tired of trying to get it thru their heads to CUT BACK before the worst happens — repossession, bankruptcy, foreclosure… or losing it all? Does it drive you crazy when you catch your adult child using YOUR credit cards to get whatever they want… or taking cash out of your wallet without asking — especially if you or your spouse has recently lost a job? If your mooching 20-something son or daughter needs a SPENDING wake-up call from Dr. Phil.”

Well you’re dealing with people who apparently let their child grow into adulthood and into their twenties before figuring out that kid needed a boot up his/her rear end! Oh.. I bet it’s because at 15 years old their brains couldn’t reason it out, right? I forgot.

How about the “Husband with Bad Manners?” one that says “Does your husband have such bad manners it’s starting to affect you and your children’s lives? Does he constantly offend people by burping at the dinner table, picking his teeth, or chewing with his mouth full? Does he act rudely because he doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him? Has it come to the point that you don’t even want to go out in public with him? Are you upset because his bad manners have started rubbing off on your kids?”

Wow.. there’s a whole demographic that managed to probably go their whole lives without a spanking, and apparently there’s enough of them like that you can get a whole show out of it! I mean you’re beyond parenting now; you’re into people old enough to be married with progeny who didn’t learn things the “old-fashioned” way that doesn’t work. How much you want to bet most of the people who show up for that show aren’t 50 or 60 years old? You know why? Because that generation was taught RESPECT for themselves and for others and because that generation probably got popped in the mouth the first time they said something at the dinner table with a mouthful of food. (I know I got a few licks for that one before I learned, and it bugs the snot out of me to see it in adults or kids today. Ugh.)

I could stay ramped up on your show’s topics all day, but people who are interested can read for themselves. I’ll jump on over to your page titled “Parenting – Stop Spoiling Your Kids

This page on your site says the following: (My personal comments are in red)

  • Your primary job as a parent is to prepare your child for how the world really works. In the real world, you don’t always get what you want. You will be better able to deal with that as an adult if you’ve experienced it as a child.
    Wow.. sounds like what I’ve been saying for years, and what my mistaken parents taught me as well.
  • If your parent/child relationship is based on material goods, your child won’t have the chance to experience unconditional love.
    Well… that’s not a problem in my house anymore. I took away most of the material goods so now all she can have is family time. No laptop distraction, no Facebook, Internet, TV, Twitter, Phone, etc. Now she hangs out and cooks with Mom, or plays in the shop with me, or plays with her brother. Again… I think my way worked with much less effort that yours does, sir. 
  • Don’t let your guilt get in the way of your parenting. “Your job as a parent is not to make yourself feel good by giving the child everything that makes you feel good when you give it,” Dr. Phil tells one mom. Your job as a parent is to prepare your child to succeed in school and when they get out into the world. “Kids have to be socialized in a way that they understand you work hard for what you get.” You don’t want to teach your child that they will get everything through manipulation, pouting, crying, door slamming and guilt induction.
    Again it seems like we’re coming at it from the same angle here, sir. I don’t have perfect kids by ANY means, but I dont have those particular problems either. Another +1 in the column for the “old-fashioned” way in my book. 
  • Make sure your child understands the value of hard work. For example, Dr. Phil explains, “I always told our boys, ‘If you make Cs, you’re going to have a C standard of living. If you make Bs, you’re going to have a B standard of living. If you make As, you’re going to have an A standard of living.”
    My daughter has made honor roll most of her entire school career, while being in advanced and Honors courses. So, I’d say to your standards she’s prepared for an “A grade standard of living.” You’re welcome…
If you’ll bear with me, I’m going to quote your website on one more small thing before I wrap this up. I checked out your page on Age-Appropriate Discipline Techniques to see what you thought good for teenagers like my daughter.

 The image on the left there is from your website. Let’s cover these.
Positive reinforcement – this one is kind of obvious and we do this to both our kids, both our dogs, and to each other, so I think we agree with you on this one.
Verbal Instruction - Sounds easy enough. In my case I was crystal clear when I said “Don’t ever do anything like this again or I’ll put a bullet through your laptop.” Was my problem not being clear enough with the ramifications of the actions we were discussing?
Establishment of Rules –  Those are pretty easy. Curse words are bad. Everyone’s last name who is over the age of 18 is Sir or Ma’am as far as you’re concerned. If in doubt, assume they are older. Bedtime is 10 PM on weeknights. You sleep in your bed –  you make it, etc. I won’t cover them all, but you get the idea.
Withholding Priveleges –   Doc, I got that one covered, Sir, exactly according to your instruction. I’m permanently withholding my daughter’s laptop until she learns a few of the aforementioned lessons you’ve mentioned.



Comments

Response to Dr. Phil — 510 Comments

  1. What gets me is how can this “professional” analyse you and your daughter without actually interviewing and meeting either of you. He’s such a crock.

      • He can do it because of a loophole in medical law. His show is listed as entertainment, so he can basically drivel on about whatever he wants and can get away with it because it’s not intended for “medical use.”

        But the fact that he had some pretty bad reprimands in his history while working as a psych doctor and the fact that even though he is against pornography, he let his son marry a porn star (lol), AND he attended his son’s wedding.

        So, Dr Phil is nothing but a hypocrite, anything he says is suspect, and should be taken with a great deal of salt.

        • I disagree because his son is an adult, and is allowed to make decisions for himself. The worst thing a parent can do (thats not against the law, and against any kind of moral) is to NOT go to their kids wedding, because that can mean the end of their reationship for life. And even though he may emberrass some, its the persons decision to go to on the show, and they have to take responsibility for their actions. There are no laws that make you go on a television show. Dr Phil is completely right, because an important part of a parents job is to be an example for their kid and never sink to their level.

        • As you can see, he decided not to be licensed anymore because then he can’t be sued for saying the wrong thing. Why else would somebody CHOOSE to revoke their entire licence?!

  2. Kudos to you. I always told my kids, if you embarrass me, I’ll embarrass you right back. Keep up the good work and don’t let the turkeys get you down.

  3. In my opinion I believe the problem is that the kids of this generation are growing up way too fast, I’m 18 and from Australia and we have kids out here who are 12 not going to school, smoking, drinking and doing sexual activities. Dr Phil is an idiot

  4. Public humiliation is not the evil act it’s made out to be. It’s accountability. When I was growing up if my brother, sister, or myself say for instance stole from a store we were marched right back up to that store and were responsible for outing our behavior to the cashier & manager we stole from and beg for forgiveness. It wasn’t to harm us, it was to teach us well before the age of 15 that there were indeed consequences to our actions and it was us and us alone who would be held accountable. Guess what? It never happened more than twice because being held publicly accountable is uncomfortable and memorable down the road when considering such a stupid thing!

    I applaud you Mr. Jordan!

      • I agree with you Lindey. Those two ideas, accountability and consequences for our actions, are something too few parents seem to instill in their children these days. It’s a shame, really, because in the end, the children are the ones who suffer. They either can wind up criminals, or worse, committing suicide, or being committed to a psych ward because their parents didn’t prepare them for the “real world” where we are held accountable for our actions, and there are consequences when we choose wrong. I think what Mr. Jordan is doing is commendable. If more parents stuck to their beliefs, and weren’t afraid of the “system”, children now days would be better prepared to be law abiding, productive citizens that know how to succeed in life and maybe even excel in it!

        • i agree with ya’ll im 20 and when i was younger my dad always told me what goes around comes around if you do something good it will come back to you if you do something bad it will come back to you. so intern this guy is right if i messed up as a kid i got my butt tore up for it for instance i messed up one time and my dad was going to spank me and i ran when he caught me i got it twice as bad as it would have been if i dident run

    • I work as a substance abuse counselor. Personal accountability is the number one trait I work on with my clients… how to develop some where there was none. Having learned this from my clients, it’s also what I believe is the number one trait parents can impart to their children to help keep them away from drugs. Better a public humiliation early at the hands of a loving parent than public humiliation much later at the hands of law enforcement!

    • But what she did was not nearly as bad as stealing. She was just ranting to her friends. And the punishment was much worse than being humiliated in front of a store clerk. She was humiliated in front of the whole world. She should be held accountable of course, but the punishment needs to match the crime.

      • Actually, what she did, Mr. Jordan DID NOT cover in the Facebook Parenting viral video. There were much more details then he originally described. Did you read this blog posting? The punishment did match the crime…she didn’t watch her actions on Facebook and he (who bought the laptop) eliminated it.

      • Honey, she was ranting to her friends ON THE INTERNET! Words you say on the internet do not go away .. ever! Do you think because someone is not your ‘friend on Facebook’ that others cannot see what you can even see your post? Shootz, they can even see your ‘private’ messages!

        I am 63 years old and was raised the old fashioned way. I am a lady that holds doors open for men, women, teenagers and children … I was raised that way. When I cross a street, I always wave a thankyou to the driver(s) who stopped for me. Those things were ingrained in me from a young age. And you know what? People appreciate it!!!

        My daughters were raised with more psychology and much much less physical violence. But I did get physical with them if they physically hurt someone or if they were about to hurt themselves. They have children of their own and are more patient than I was with them; but instill the rules and punishments in the way they see fit.

        This father is to be applauded for taking a stand and continuing to help others understand the teenage years as seen through the eyes of Daddy!

        His daughter is now on the right path … she’ll be just fine .. better than fine … she will pass it on to her friends, and eventually to her own children.

        She will make this world a better place for the few moments of time she has to ‘suffer’ the consequences of her actions!

        • Amen! I am 58 and I raised 4 children myself. My parents “spanked” me when I did something wrong, but they weren’t quick to do it. They tried telling me there would be consequences, and if I continued to ignore them, they followed through. I also hold doors open for everyone, and thank people whether I’m driving or walking that allow me to go ahead of them. I do not even think twice about it. It’s as natural as breathing to me. I do not, however, feel this is just about teenagers. From what I can tell by what I have read, he didn’t just start taking this stand once she became a teenager. It sounds like this is how he has always raised his children. Kudos to him! If more parents started when their children were small, instilling these “lessons” in them, we would have such a better world to live in. An old saying that children learn what they live. That pretty much says it all. If they live receiving what ever they want and doing what ever they want, they will continue to expect it when they get out on their own. If they are taught respect, accountability, and consequences, at an early age until they are old enough to be on their own, they will be responsible, successful adults. There is always an exception to the rule….You will always have one here and there, that no matter what you teach them, they will still go their own way and think they know better. But the other 99% will turn out just fine! Quite a difference from what I see in the world these days. The percentages seem to be much closer together…like 51% vs 49% (these are just estimates from what I see every day, not actual percentages, although I would love to see actual ones to see how far I’m off). If by parenting like Mr. Jordan is, can change those percentages to 99% vs 1% (the 99% being the kids who turn out great), I think every parent out there should take a lesson from him.

      • Humiliated in front of the whole world? Really? Do YOU know who she is or have you seen her face? We have only seen Tommy. Perhaps some of the people that live around them and know them will know how she is but at for the rest of us 26 million or so, we only know her to be a 15 year old girl, thats it. Disrespecting your parents and calling another girl from school a b*^ch is not just as bad but could also be “bullying”. I just love how people can make judgements on others after-the-fact and not even know the entire story or circumstances. We always expect everyone else to live by OUR standards.

        • You’re right, I’m sure that by now most people who know her know that this video is about her. That would be pretty humiliating to me. You are also right that I don’t know the entire story, but I don’t think anyone does, including you. By your logic, nobody can make judgments about this.

          But I can still say that it’s my opinion that this situation should be handled behind closed doors. The father here is doing exactly what he criticized Dr. Phil of doing by airing his family’s dirty laundry for all to see. Of course he didn’t imagine that the video would go viral, but as he says here, adults (and children) should be able to see the consequences of their actions.

          • I agree that parenting, like most family issues, should be done behind closed doors 99% of the time.
            In our case, that had been tried, repeatedly. It failed.
            I believe you know that I really didn’t intend for the “whole world” to see it… there’s just no way ANYONE could have foreseen THAT MANY views on YouTube.

            She used language IN PUBLIC that she shouldn’t have ever used, period, regardless of where, but because she did it IN PUBLIC, I responded to her punishment IN PUBLIC… in the exact same public forum she did. The difference was: sheer number of views.

        • It doesn’t actually say she called anyone a b*^ch. All it says is that she called another girl from school an inappropriate name. It could be any number of things so don’t be so quick to assume something that you don’t know anything about.

      • “she was ranting to her friends…” wow. And how many people saw her post? In my opinion, she deserved her punishment. She was already warned in the past & talking bad about people, ESPECIALLY ONLINE & about your parents, deserves a punishment.

  5. Tommy,
    I love reading all your responses. I quote you all the time. You say to the world what I wish I could say just to my in-laws. Thank you!

  6. Great point! He brings parents on his show daily who bring their kids with them and tell the world everything that is wrong with those kids…..I agree with your logic that Dr Phil is being hypocritical.

  7. I put pretty much put the same comment on Facebook. But why is it that when anyone is getting an enormous amount of attention, no matter what the medium no matter what the issue, there comes “Dr.” Phil McGraw to put in his unwanted two cents worth, he probably paid NBC to let him get his face connected to this issue. He (Dr.Phil) is nothing but a media attention seeking whore who would attach his name and face to the Devil if he thought it would sell a book for himself, Robin or Jay.

  8. I have zero respect for Dr. Phil. He cares more about making a name for himself than helping people. I am not even sure if he is still licensed to practice.

  9. Your retort to his video was definitely much more thought out and definitely had the time taken to back yourself up with information. Dr Phil is just about hype. You, sir, are about the raising of your child and staying true to your word.

  10. My husband and I support you. You are a good father and example to all of us parents. I have a 1 year old and I definitely believe that she will give me the grief that I gave my mother as a teen. My mother knew how to deal with it and we will too. Dr. Phil has problems of his own. We all do. It’s not right to point fingers when we are imperfect ourselves.

  11. You continue to do what you are doing and forget what others are saying. I admire what you did and am having the same problems with my 12 yr old(except she knows better than to block me on Facebook or to curse on there). Can I send her there please as she is at the stage where she has no respect etc.. ;) Kudos to you!

  12. Yo! i am a 16 teen year old kid … i was showed this video by my friend and you taught me a lesson on what i shouldnt do and say about my parents it made me reflect

    • Marco, I believe that Mr. Jordan’s hope is to also reach young people like yourself. Your generation is the future of this world. That is a huge responsibility, and one that we, as parents, can only hope that we have prepared our young people to shoulder. I hope that you reflect in a good way and understand that where your parents come from is a place of love and wanting you to grow into the finest man that you can become.

    • I am 17 and completely agree with everything done in both the initial response to the facebook posts, and the rebuttal to Dr. Phil. My parents have never had to be very drastic with me, but when i did something very reckless driving, they took my keys for a week, and said if i EVER catch you doing that again you can say goodbye to driving, period. Started off with a mild punishment, and ramped up as necessary. You acted professionally in every instance and were careful to not make her humiliation over the top by showing her face, only what was said. I hope that my future parenting will be half as good as yours Mr. Jordan, Sir!

  13. Finally- good old fashioned common sense!!! Society needs discipline (kinda textbook anthropology 101) and that should start at home. Thank you for reminding us all that’s it’s okay to teach family values to our families.

  14. Personally, I think you did right by punishing your daughter, however, you put it on YouTube for not a grocery store to see, but the entire world to see. I think it would be okay to accept maybe you are wrong that your put this on YouTube. But dead right for putting the bullets through her computer. My Dad would do the same thing, But putting it on YouTube, absolutely not. My parents did the same thing to me when I was younger, I had my ass spanked in public if I was playing up there, and at the comfort of my own home if it was at home. And I can say that has formed me into who I am today and definetly given me some very good values for life. However, again putting this on YOUTUBE, like you did to your daughter, her career is pretty much ruined if employers can put a name to a face or find out who she is (which around the local radius of your area I’m sure they would) its going to make this very hard for her to look for a job now.

    I’m not saying your a bad father because we all make mistakes, because I think what you did was absolutely right, apart from the YouTube bit

    • in case you haven’t seen the videos/responses, her carer is well in hand. She has been offered many jobs. And any employer who would not hire her because of her dads video is one she doesn’t need to work for anyway.

      • No, I would not employ her because I would be concerned that her family will get in the way of a job, shes only 15, her local McDonalds are not going to care about that kind of stuff. This guy works in IT just like myself, and I’m surprised he doesn’t regret this. If my old man did this, and found out it was me, it would make it very hard for me to get a promotion from the position I am in at the moment. He crossed the line on this one Karen

        • Matt.. read the whole story, his FB included, before you tell someone they are wrong. She in FACT has been offered jobs. She’s 15 is right, which means she’s not too concerned about a promotion. As far as his regret.. again, I refer you to the WHOLE story. Being that you are in IT, I would think that you would read.

          • Carol… read my comment, Mcdonalds don’t care about their staff’s home life, they need people putting burgers together. Shes 15 now but when shes older IF the video is remembered (which it might be) her career will be at an end. He is 100% Butthurt in this video and making a lot of pathetic excuses

          • He made no excuses, he admitted mistakes, admitted he wasnt perfect, and SHOWED us his reasoning for his actions. There is no way one action one facebook like this at age 15 will keep you from a meaningful career a few years down the road.

        • Matt, if you disagree with his action, then so be it. But you are in no position to judge him or his daughters future. Only God can do that. So please leave your rude opinions to yourself.

          • Amber, if you are going criticize me, that is more then okay. But next time, please make it constructive, rather then being butt hurt on behalf of the guy!

        • okay, this is actually about the comment two posts down. All this might do in life is make her seem rebellious. And just so you know, which you should know if you are truly an IT, it is VERY possible to delete a youtube video. I should know, I’ve done it before. The video still exists because he WANTS it to stick around. She’s a freaking HONOR-ROLL student in honors and ap classes. Heck, half the people that see this will probably be calling her “BOSS” in about 10 years

    • I agree with you on that. And I hope this father understands what a good child he has and tells her that often. He should experience some REAL troubled teens for a week or so. I think he was on the right track and screwed up with YouTube. Regardless of what any lawyer says, he should go totally private with everything but work. He should fill his FB page with the garden, the IT work, the vet clinic, everything but his family and this situation. People will get over it and move on with his help. He doesn’t need to justify himself anymore.

      • It sounds like you didn’t catch the part in his initial video where he states that his video was for all of his daughter’s friends who thought that kind of behavior was okay and that they’d get away with it and for the parents who thought their kids weren’t doing anything bad on FB. The lesson he was teaching those kids COULD NOT have been relayed any other way. He was teaching not just his daughter, but all her friends who thought her little rant was funny that they would not get away with publicly disrespectful behavior. They WILL get called out on it. He showed them ‘on their turf’ that there is NO place where they can escape their parents’ discipline. And I’ll bet every single one of her friends will now think twice before posting anything anywhere near that disrespectful on any media outlet. He didn’t do this to get ‘revenge’ as Dr. Phil suggested. I am confident he would have done this even if her rant had nothing to do with him or her mom. It was the disrespectful and vulgar way she expressd herself – NOT that she expressed herself at all. He recognized that she was showing herself to be an ungrateful, disrespecful child, thereby disrespecting who she really is. What parent would want their child to stand uncorreced in a behavior that is self-demoralizing? He also showed other parents how inescapably vital it is that no matter how good your kids normally are, they are still kids and need correcting when they make a mistake. The only way a parent can do that is if the parent is fully aware of their child’s activities/behavior and involved DAILY. I think he did EXACTLY what he had to do. But, just as he said, HE HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT HIS MESSAGE WOULD BE HEARD BY THE WHOLE WORLD as opposed to THE FEW he’d thought would see it. How could he possibly? He’s just a regular guy in good ‘ole Town, USA. It’s a sad day in the history of humankind when a parent gets world-wide noteriety for actually following through and disciplining their child.

          • I agree with all concerned, parenting is hard these days. Our children have more that we have, and less discipline that make
            them wrongly wrong willed. No parent wish ill for his / her child
            if is caring parent. These days we witness so many neglecting parents, and if come up caring parents to the attention of people that making living of smearing good name of family then they are
            crucified like you are sir. Dr Phil make money on misery of others, no point to comment more. That he sent occasionally someone for treatment for me it is stunt for publicity. You did right and these
            days when I am old woman I know that I will do the same. Being a Immigrant been much harder for me to brought our daughter up with two cultures but I or she do not regretting these. I believe that with children one must be frank, and involve them in all family’s matters to give them insight that life is serious matter. Good luck to you and your daughter that one day she will Hugh you and Thank you.
            Eva from Down Under Australia

    • I believe her chances for future employment are very good because employers can see that she is being taught lessons in self-discipline, responsibility, accountability, teamwork and following through with what you say you are going to do. These are very important values in the workplace. In most jobs, you don’t know anything about the values a person was raised with until after they have been hired and you have worked with them from day to day. It also shows that she can handle pressure and not crumble in crisis. Also good qualities to have. From an employer’s standpoint, I would see her as an asset as opposed to a liability.

    • Correction, he didn’t put it on Youtube, someone else did. He uploaded it to Facebook. The only reason he finally put it on Youtube was to copyright it so that others couldn’t profit from it. Check your facts. Tommy Jordan is only doing what most parents are afraid of doing for fear of repercussions from people that have no business telling us how to parent.

    • I kinda laugh, first of all because by the time she is old enough to have a job that is worth getting a promotion, no one will have remembered this video in the first place. And if she wants one worth a promotion, I would think she would be encouraged, if not smart enough on her own to attend college. I think this blog is appropriately named “8 minutes of fame” because that is all it is. Sure it was a bit shocking, and I fully believe the punishment fit the crime. Posting her comments on facebook are just as bad as his youtube video because they could see it too if they wanted, the difference is more people cared about his than hers, or her story would be all over the place as well. She is barely old enough to get a job even at Mcdonalds let alone anywhere else, and besides, if I was an employer, I would look at as the fact that her parents would not get in way of her job, but encourage her to not slack, or skip out on work over lame excuses that I see my current co-workers do all the time, and they are sadly older than she is. I would be pretty confident they would be teaching her proper work ethics.

  15. Tommy, I support you 100%. Generally speaking, I enjoy the Dr Phil show but, as a parent myself, I find him to be extremely biased in favour of the children featured on his show; no matter how outrageous and unacceptable their behaviour may be, he will always blame the parents.

    • I couldn’t agree more. I can’t stand to watch his show just because of all the “parenting” episodes he has aired and made (what I believe) a complete fool out of himself.

  16. Kudos to You,I agree w/ You 100%.Dr.Phil is absolutly full of SHIT,I really don’t understand how he’s been on TV this Long,he reminds me of some type of Old Creepy Pedophile,all the stuff he spew I hope he doesn’t really believe it.

  17. Beautiful…absolutely beautiful…I watched Dr. Phil today as a divorced–and very distant–father verbally fought with his kids and ex-wife. The last seconds showed the dad hugging the son. Seems to me that wasn’t NEARLY the end of the story. How comfortable will life be for those teenagers when they get home and talk to people who watched their pain?

    You made a very good call…

  18. I totally agree with you tommy,You might regret the things you did but still,You should be proud that you actually know how to be a dad,Every time i get in trouble by facebook,its because the other person lies and i know how to be a good person and actually ignore because its the past,Hannah should be lucky that she has no laptop or any other comuication because she knows what she did wrong.I totally agree with you tommy,you did what you did and Hannah shouldnt take a fit\.

  19. Well, well, well… I think you would be the perfect Dr Phil for all our future generations…. :) Don’t count me in.. My husband and I raised our children, just like we were raised and thank god my children turned out well and in fact, they are raising thier kids ( my grandchildren) the way they were raised… so I know for sure we wouldn’t need you to help us out.. but I’ll be your first person who would never ever miss your show… You go Tommy :)

    • I guess I’d have to be the second then! I’m only 22 years old, and though I’m far from being perfect, I know my parents raised me right! They may have never had to go to the extremes of shooting my laptop, but it was more than likely because I didn’t have one! I didn’t have a cell phone until I was 18. If I wanted to call someone, I had to use the house phone where everyone in the house could pick up the other line at any time. And I’m a better person for it! I was raised to say yes maam and no maam… I open doors for anyone that’s within 20 or so feet behind me, not matter age or gender. I was raised to call every one older than me “Mr.” or “Mrs.” unless they ASKED me to do otherwise.. Then I STILL had to call them Mr or Mrs when they weren’t around.. simply out of RESPECT! The problem with our world today is that very few people respect themselves, let alone the people around them! I may not be the person that I really want to be right now. But I know I have made my parents proud. And I stand right in the sight of God. Put God first, Respect and Love Him, and Respect for yourself and others will come after that! *Steps off my soapbox*

      • Sign me up for whatever network that show will be on. I agree 100% with Mr. Jordan here. Getting that many views was not part of the plan. There’s no way it could have been. It was directed (as stated in the description of the original video) to his daughter and her friends. Me, I was raised by a single mother who worked 2 jobs to support me as well as my 4 cousins. I learned to be self-sufficient at an early age, but I never lost sight of the fact that without her, I never would have learned what I know today about real life. I hope that I never have to resort to shooting a laptop, but that doesn’t mean that that technique is off the table…

        • I’m 12 right now and I would watch this show every time it came on. I have ONE TIME very recently done something like this on facebook. Let’s just say that if it had been by dad instead of my mom, my computer would belong in a church right now, right next to her’s. As it was, i was grounded for a LONG time. Scratch the thing about my dad, he probably would have made a video of me having to use my shotgun to shoot the computer my self. She’s lucky he didn’t make her do that. As for Dr. Phil SCREW YOU fella! This is the kind of parenting the world is lacking people! You will notice that crime is SERIOUSLY increasing as “parenting advice” comes out. There are soooooooooooo many “parenting books” out there it’s crazy. BOTTOM LINE PEOPLE, KIDS DO NOT COME WITH INSTRUCTION MANUALS. LEARN THIS, AND YOU WILL GET TO BE A BETTER PARENT. TAKE ADVICE FROM THIS GUY AND YOU WILL BECOME EVEN BETTER. I guarantee that this will NEVER happen again.

  20. Dr. Phil,
    Everything that Tommy said to you in his video was correct. And in my opinion, I do believe you only do your shows for profit. I tried to contact you months ago because I was in desperate need of help, and I still am. I never got a response, and I am still in a situation that I can not pull myself out of. Now, things have only gotten worse with me. There are people out there that actually need help…that are reaching out to you for help, but you cant even give them a referral. I commend Tommy and his healthy and happy family. He did the right thing in what he did, and is truly a good person…and that is a very rare thing.

  21. Tommy i am a 17 year old boy, a month or so from 18. I completely agree with what you did. Dr. phil is an idiot, i honestly dont see how a monster like that can stand to make a profit off the public embarrasment of kids and parents. As you said “Just un-acceptable”. What you did was justified and appropriate. Please send me an email, wee-man_nik12@hotmail.com, I look forward to talking to you further if you have the time.

  22. I would say that you gave an excellent rebuttal to Dr. Phil’s comments/accusations. People should know the full story, all facts before really commenting about a situation. And I would say, Dr. Phil jumped the gun….in a manner of speaking. One of the best lessons in life I have learned is “to think outside the box”. Sometimes things aren’t always as they seem.

  23. My daughter and I have an amazing bond and I actually learned of your video through her. I find your responses intelligent, insightful and you drive the point home. I’d hate to have to go up against you in a debate!

    My opinion is that no one has the right to tell you that you’re not a good parent. No two parents will have the exact same experiences or be in the exact same situation. Because of this, it’s unlikely that they will handle things in the same way. Not only are we different as individuals but so are our children. Ultimately, it’s up to us to decide on the best course of action for our children based on a lifetime of experiences with them. There’s a difference between neglect, physical abuse or simply punishing your child. As far as I have seen, you have never set off even the slightest alarms. I have no doubt that you are an amazing parent and it looks like the majority of people agree with you.

  24. When i was about 8 years old, I stole some candy and other little snack items from the grocery store that my father worked at. Needless to say, I got caught, I had to go to the store, marched into the office by my parents and count all of my pennies out to about 6 men including managers and assistant managers. Most of those men are still there at that very grocery store. Do u have any idea how embarrassing that was? COMPLETELY- to the point that I learned my lesson. It took me having to go in front of everyone to learn my lesson that that was wrong. Parenting is the hardest job you will ever have,because how you parent is going to produce the adult children you have. Until they are 18, you dont get to be a friend to them! Its your JOB and PRIVELAGE as a parent to teach them the right and wrong ways and you know what every child is different. There are 7 children between my boyfriend and I, 5 under the age of 9. What works for one, might not work for the other child. Its a learning experience because a friends child isnt going to be like your child. I think what this man did was right. Weve told our 16 year old, if she babysits this summer, she will get a car that is USED that use to be mine, and that just cause she gets one, doesnt mean she will have all the priveleges in the world. She will have to get a JOB, and pay for insurance, gas and any luxuries she wants for the car and she will know how to do her own oil changes, and how to change a tire… IS THAT TOO HARSH- NOPE!! She will earn that car, along with the other 6 kids. I never got a car given to me.My children are loved and spoiled but with discpline incorportated into their lives.!!!

  25. As someone who has a MA in behavior disorders and have worked with children of all ages who have physically and verbally attacked me and others for the better part of 15 years, KUDOS to you for being an involved parent. I wish more of the parents of the kids I have taught over the years would have been involved. Perhaps they would be well adjusted children with honors classes instead of an arrest record.

    I have an 18 year old, I can completely see myself doing something JUST like you did, but perhaps I would have made my son read a scripted letter to make it all the more jaw dropping. I find it nuts that the police and or DFACs were ever involved. There was no reason to believe your daughter was ever in danger. As for Dr. Phil….Sometimes I agree with him, sometimes I do not. I enjoy your posts, I enjoyed your video, (as did my 18 year old who said, “That is like something you would do to me….”) I enjoy your honest parenting and accepting of your mistakes in doing so. Carry on!

  26. While I don’t agree with everything you say I agree wholeheartedly with the spirit of what you say.
    I’ll remember your advice when my daughter becomes a teenager, which thankfully is a long time away…

    Best wishes from Sweden

  27. dear tommy

    i dont know you but i wishes i hade the guts on what you did . i am a young mother of 3 boys and my oldest boy well he mean and ive tryed everything but Beat him . and i get called the bad mom for grounding , so on so on . so as a parnet good job on raising ur kids . dont let no one tell you diffrent . ur raising them how you want to and how you think is right . as parnets there is no such thing is a perfect parnet . to tell people that try to be perfect i wonder what mistakes they have done or where there kids end up…

  28. hang on while i pick my jaw up off my keyboard.
    that
    was
    brilliant!
    seriously…props to you for so fabulously illustrating further that you did it right! i don’t dislike doctor phil, but man, oh man…you nailed him on the whole don’t embarrass publicly deal. nailed!! love that you’re so thorough!

  29. Dr. Phil is a good man, in some points of view, but when he’s going to stand there and bash you for what you did and does exactly what you did is down right degrading. I agree with the fact that he gets paid to do what you did. He brings children and parents onto his tv show to publicly air their personal problems to the whole world and he’s been doing it for decades. You spent just over 8 minutes doing it and didn’t get paid for it, but you sure did teach your daughter a lesson. I’m proud to know that there are still parents out there like you! My mom and dad would have done the same thing to me and I WOULD do the same thing to my child if it ever happened to me.
    You are an educated man, if you weren’t you wouldn’t talk the way you do, let alone be in the line of work you are in. I’ve been following your thread ever since I came across it last week. You are showing the nation that you did not do this as a publicity stunt, but to show your daughter what it feels like to be publicly humiliated. Keep up the work on standing your ground and showing the world that RESPECT is earned, not just given!

  30. Pingback: Facebook Parenting: Your Laptop My 45 | KI4KQD BLOGGER

  31. I want to put my two cents’ worth in about “public humiliation”. Why can’t some people understand that there is a huge difference between wounding your child’s spirit in front of other people (such as telling them they are stupid, will never amount to anything, using curse words to describe them, etc…which I have heard people do), and correcting a child for a social wrongdoing in front of the same audience the CHILD chose to play to?? Normally, I take my children aside and keep the discipline between the two of us, but if my kid chooses to humiliate a sibling in front of peers to look “cool”, or back-talks me in a public setting, or some similar transgression,I deal with it then and there and I HOPE it embarrasses him/her enough to NEVER do it again. I make sure they understand the reason I dealt with it publicly is because they chose to do wrong publicly. I also tell them that they are really disrespecting THEMSELVES as much as anyone when they chose to be mean, rude, or self serving in public. And yes…I got hauled back to a store for stealing a pack of gum at about age six, was forced to apologize to the manager and pay for it, and I never shoplifted again.

    • I fully agree! This was not humiliating his daughter, but a situation where the punishment or consequence fit the crime. He didn’t shoot up her laptop because she was repeatedly late getting home, thereby missing her curfew. He simply took away the tool that she used to disrespect and publicly humiliate her family.

    • I completely agree with your assessment. This was not humiliation but consequences of actions. What she did was NOT private…nothing on the web is.

  32. Mr. Jordon,

    I am in my early 20′s. I 100% agree with you, and everything that have said especially regarding Dr. Phil because Dr. Phil talks as if he is reading from a textbook and does not realize that real life is nothing like a textbook. It is about time, that somebody put Dr. Phil in his place.

    Thank you for standing up in what you believe in,
    Jackie

  33. dont let Dr. Phil get into your head, dang i watched his show a few times, and after each time i felt like i had problems , when i didnt have any to start with ,

    i think that some of the people he so called tried to help, made them worse in the end, oh like for instance, and correct me if i’m wrong, i dont mind.

    that one family with the 2 daughters and how the husband was cheating on his wife and how the oldest daughter got pregnant and started out wanting to give the baby up for adoption, but she kept the baby instead, that part was fine i guess, i dont know, i dont have kids, but i do have a husband.

    and then Dr. phil pretty much hands the whole show over to this pregnant daughter , and he’s still making money off them years later when that one daughter goes into rehab for drug and other drug type abuse ,

    you know Dr. phil, i hate to say this but when you bring people onto the show who have problem, and i might be wrong here , but sometimes when you give those sad people their 30 minutes of tv fame, it sometimes makes them even worse down the road,

    leave this guy alone Dr. phil.

    maybe the laptop shooting was alittle out there (i would of just taken it all apart, into little pieces, lol) .
    but what he did was a great thing, now maybe more parents will start to grow a back bone. and i would gladly shake hands with this father.

  34. Hi Tommy,
    I am from Canada and I pat you on the back.My daughter is 15 and when I seen your video it just reminded me of my daughter .Please keep doing what your doing you are a god sent I enjoy watching your comebacks.
    Kudos to you my friend. Take care and keep your head high

  35. Mr jordon…sir,you my friend are a bad ass.pretty funny dr phil tried to use you and your family to gain for himself and hos dumb show.i commend you for not selling out on yourself,values,and especially your family.the only reason that he said whay he did…to gain ratings.you are teaching your kids a christian code of ethics and commend you for it.dr phil is a sell out….

  36. There are no words to explain how much on Tommy’s side I am-I just turned 40 three days ago, and my parents in NO WAY raised me any different than Tommy’s raised him. Therefore, I too am raising mine with the same ideals, and if that happens to be wrong to some, then so be it, but my kids will be respectful.

  37. Great response Tommy. Respect is grossly lacking in the customer service field as this generation enters the work place. You see it in all that they do…driving while texting…trash-talking regardless of how many people can hear them.
    My mama tore my butt up in a movie theater because I kept making noise after being asked twice to settle down. I deserved it, because I was distracting everyone around me. I think my parents tore me up because they loved me, and wanted me to be the better person that I can (sometimes) be.
    From every post of yours (Tommy) that I’ve read, I’d have to say your parents seem to have done a great job. I don’t think you over-reacted because you did what you said that you would. You simply followed through. I think there is a lesson for other parents to learn here, and maybe that is why it went viral…because it needed to.
    Just hope it has many positive repercussions for you and your loved ones.

  38. I said this not only on my Fb page when I posted the original video of you shooting Hannah’s laptop, I also said it on YouTube: I don’t like guns. At all. But, I give you a pass on this one, Sir. I raised four teenagers; I know what it’s like. They’ll take you right to the edge and push you over, if you let them. She deserved everything she got. Your punishment was a committed one – no giving in to her pleadings or puppy-dog eyes and giving the laptop back early for good behavior. That thing is dead as a doornail and she will have no other choice but to straighten up and fly right (and get a job LOL) to get another or she will do without. I could tell how mad you were listening to you read that letter. My mom would have whupped my butt (with a belt!) if she’d found a letter like that. I did get spankings as a child and I don’t feel that I was physically abused at all. But we’re from a different generation, one where most parents didn’t question themselves or their methods. Some might have been wrong but most were right. You did the right thing. Your daughter gets straight A’s – that means you’re obviously doing something right.

  39. This is how I feel about people who get the title without actually earning the degree. They are full of opinions about everything and you know what my parents always said,,,opinions are like a$$holes, everyone has one!!! And this Dr. Phil is not the smartest cookie in the bag either. So Dr Phil sir, take the lesson from this man who is truly right, has an education and doesn’t try to be anything other than what he is…A LOVING, caring, concerned, hard working husband and FATHER. Get a life Dr Phil and please try to mind your own darn business for once. My parents weren’t my best friend, they were my parents who were responsible for my up bringing, my MORALS and my ETHICS. GOOD WORK MR. JORDAN, GOOD PARENTING!!!!

  40. Dr. Phil and the most of the media, has no idea who their messing with!

    This guy is in the same field as I am, and, you don’t mess with someone as smart as him – especially when his opinion is shared by the majority of the population – including me!

    Way to go Tommy!

    You have my support…

    Steve

    http://www.YouthAdvise.com

  41. Well, like I have told you before….you did GREAT!!! These kids never came with a book and your daughter will turn out just fine, and she will always remember ‘what her dad did to get her attention~to have respect!’ In a few years when she is married with her own kids, is when it will be very funny to her, and all of you. This was a very good response to Dr. Phil, who is the professional, and I am sure was the greatest father due to his education. WE normal people didn’t have that advantage of …all the money in the world…or this type of education he has……and good for him… but real people, face this regular disrespect, because this world has gone down hill. As soon as all this happened you were investigated, it is very hard for a person to go thru, so some of us just slack off just to get thru the day with these kids, nowadays. The threat of investigating over a spanking etc makes it hard just to be a parent. Thank you for not going on his show. I don’t think I/we have ever seen a show, of his, that we don’t just sit and look around wondering what that person thought was going to happen if they went on the Dr. Phil show. They want to travel so bad, a free trip is worth the pain and embarrassment of spilling their guts on national TV. You are right, and he must brainwash them into thinking it is the for the good of someone else out there in TV-land, they will be helped too. YOUR comments are great, I am proud of you, once again!!

  42. Outstanding. Clearly well thought out, worded and delivered. It would seem that Dr. Phil made another assumption: That he was dealing with a rash, uneducated individual who was clearly unable to control his reactionary impulses. In my opinion, Dr. Phil thought wrong. Again, not that you need my validation, but well done on all accounts!

  43. I don’t believe dr phil is an idiot, he is entitled to his OWN opinion weather wrong or not. Tommy as long as you keep doing and being a good job at being a father then you have nothing to worry about your a good father trying to teach your daughter right from wrong. I should send my stepson your way god knows he needs to learn respect and manners! In todays age children do not have this but there are a lot of parents out there who do make sure their kids know it, so in all honesty Tommy you and your family keep doing what you are doing

  44. I’m in law enforcement and as long as he kept safety in mind when discharging his weapon, I think he did a fine job as a parent! Wish more would take an active role in not allowing their children to disrespect others by just chalking it up to, “They’re teenagers.” Dr. Phil is a sellout anyway. He’ll go with whomever will get him the most ratings and buy his books. GOOD JOB DAD!

  45. All of my kids (11,13,25,29) have been taught “consequences to your actions”. Boy howdy, they haven’t liked being told that constantly but it works. The oldest would threaten to call Social Services if she didn’t get her way and my response was always the same…”Here, let me dial the number for you while you’re packing your things because if they show up at the door, you’re leaving with them”. She now laughs about it and know I would have done it.
    The kids are taught to shake someones hand when they meet, to look people in the eyes when talking to them, the names of adults always start with “Miss” or “Mr.”, you WILL say please and thank you!!! If you don’t, you don’t get it, no matter what it is. I can and will take away extras (computer, MP3, phone, video games, etc.) and I have.
    Thank you Mr. Jordan for saying and doing all the things some others have been afraid to! You’ve obviously been taught and are teaching excellent life skills. Keep up the work.

  46. Nailed it. Dr. Phil is a whiny, bleeding heart liberal who thinks every little thing is going to leave deep emotional scars on people. This is why both children and adults are the way they are today. If we continue to let people like Dr. Phil pussify the nation, believe me, if any kind of attack ever happened again on American soil, everyone would feel too victimized and curl up in a ball and hide instead of fight. Mr. Jordan, you did the right thing. Dr. Phil always talks about raising his children in a Christian household, but maybe if Dr. Phil spent more time working on his own son, he would not have ended up marrying a friggin’ Playboy model who has had her ass shown to all the world. The guy’s a joke, a loudmouth and an opportunist…just like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and all of the others who just have to have their opinion broadcast to the world every single time anything happens as if anyone gives a crap. Okay, I’m done. Oh, and while I’m somewhere where everyone can see this…VOTE RON PAUL FOLKS!! HA!

  47. Now I love you. Lol to take own Dr. Phil intelligently…never seen done. I literally cannot stomach his show for the exact reasons you brought forth. Hes self righteous and has no ones best interest at heart. He absolutely humiliates people on his show. That’s why theyvare always crying. Not because of what got them there but because how he rips into them. I sm so proud of you or this. You turned anything negative that may have resulted from you shooting the laptop around. Awesome job

  48. My applause to you sir!! can’t agree with you more!
    I’m Asian, my parents kicked my ass when I was young.
    though I may not like it back then(duh!), but now I thank them for doing so, and I’m 18. 15 aren’t that young to realize the mistake!
    I’ll never understand the whole idea of “spanking your kids=abuse”…

  49. I have one reply..”The Dr. Phil Family.”
    Have you followed this disaster of Dr. Phil’s? You know the family with the two teenage girls and their parents? He started working with them years ago when the eldest girl was pregnant…lets just fast forward…That very same girl had 2 more kids..all taken away from her, she ended up in the streets, kicked out of her home and addicted to drugs. Mom and Dad almost divorced, not sure of their status. Then just last week Dr. Phil films the eldest girl going into a drug re-had facility….a success story? I don’t think so, its a disaster. I think Dr. Phil could take a lesson from you Tommy Jordan!

  50. Well Mr. Jordan, All I can say is Kudos to you once again, You have eloquently spoken your words without any B$!!!!!!S*** attached to them. As a Teaching Assistant I can only WISH that these values would not only come back into our schools but also the students homes.
    I love my job however, it gets harder each year as the rights of teachers are stripped away and children’s are obnoxiously given more and more. I’m 52 years of age and still can remember why I NEVER swore at a teacher.. First off.. I would have been punished at the school, BUT more importantly when I dared to go home that night I’d have to face my parents – and that is where the real punishment came in. I don’t think it harmed me one Iota – in fact I think it made me a better person- one who has respect for her fellow mankind -teachers, elders -everyone !

    I’m quite sure that your daughter is really quite a lovely girl and that you have a great family life- but once in awhile things happen and when they do it is up to US as parents to correct our kids behavior and set them on the right path.. you did that- all be it in a manner that some might find offensive ( I do not) and I highly doubt Dr. Phil that it has scarred her for life! I only wish more parents would take the time to wake up and smell the coffee and realized that kids need boundries, disipline at times as well as lots of love and encouragement. I commend you for having the tenacity to stand up for what you believe in! Thumbs up in this household – Oh and by the way..Dr. Phil my 20year old daughter and my 17year old son both agree – as well as their daddy!

  51. I remember when James cameron said 12 words criticizing the director of Pirana 3D, then that directed wrote a 1500 word retort on his blog.

    It’s never a good look to write a war and peace novel in reply to someone who just said a few words.

    • Jim….who the hell cares how it “looks”? This isn’t a Hollywood script and he isn’t trying to get best actor. He’s defending as completely as he can his point of view against a guy who can say “just a few words” on a national show and state his “professional” opinion in front of millions of people. Why are you so scared of what people think or how it looks? That’s exactly why parents are so afraid to really discipline their kids in the first place. Wait…I’m sorry. Was this too long? Here, I’ll shorten it for you and Phil: you’re both idiots.

  52. Dr Phil, I love ur show but please get off ur high horse of Oprah ok!!!
    Look man,just because shit was per say perfect in raising ur kids….thats a good thing but….its ppl like u that has ruined our kids,why? because of shit like this….But we did get our ass beat when&wherever we messed up and it didnt kill us.Shut the hell up and let us be the parents we feel to be…Who are you or who is the system? Parents forget them and spare that rod that spoiled the child ok…

  53. Tommy
    No doubt Dr. Phil thinks he is the know all do all psychologist. The truth is 73% of parents take the time to stop the bad behaviors and not just think about it like the other 27%. I deal with this all the time as a counselor, Dr. Phil has made millons by making public specticals of other’s torments. I hope you don’t stop being up front and bold with your child, teaching her right from wrong and the consequences that come with poor choices. Also in many states a 15 year old child can be tried as an adult for murder. So with all that said, you must have a strong hand and a understanding heart with your child, I believe you are that kind of dad, Dr. Phil needs to practice what he preaches, because he is now a public figuar he more concern with his image than a child’s up bringing. I guess the owner’s manual you got with your daughter at birth must have left those parts out the Dr. Phil was trying to tell you about. He was a nobody until Oprah, he has ghost writers to write his books and his childern’s book. So you shot the computer, thats is better than saying don’t do that agian for the millionth time. Have a great day.
    Robert

  54. Tommy you are right on the mark. Dr. Phil is full of it and yes he does embaress parents and children every day. I have watched what he has done to “Alexandra” and her parents over the last 8-10 years. She had a baby at the age of 15, now has 3 her parents are raising because of drugs, dispect for all including herself. He goes on he air with other parents dealing with the same and tells them they are the cause of their childs problems that everything they did for them because they loved their child was wrong. Well Dr. Phil look at Alexandra and her family. You gave this child a Truck (she sold for drugs), paid for gas cards, sent them on vacations, gave her mother a facelift, etc. and you go and tell parents they were the ones who enabled their children to become what they are today. Maybe if you had of stayed out of Alexandra’s life and not enable her with all the things you gave her and her family they wouldn’t have had to go through all they have. I was given a few spankings when I was a child and I remember everyone and all deserved. The spankings didn’t hurt me as much as having my parents hurt by what I did. I wasn’t scared of my parents, I learned to respect them. My respect was of not hurting them and making them proud of me, they would have loved me no matter what. Kids today don’t respect anything. They want what they want and feel they don’t have to work for it. I applaud you Mr. Jordan, it sounds like you have been having problems with Hannah for awhile and everything you have tried has not worked. Well I hope Hannah realizes now that there are consequences and she is old enough to accept those consequences. I wish you and your family luck and Hannah I hope you truly understand your father loves you and only wants what is best for you.

  55. Tommy, we had the 15yr old runaway boy who left us the note that “he was tired of being a slave” He got zeros in school because he would not do his homework. We had tried everything we could, spanking, grounding, taking things away etc. When he finally graduated high school and started college, we had told him we would pay by semester if he made good grades, if he failed – he footed the bill for that semester. He made honor roll and was in the honor society while he studied his college courses. Nowadays that he has his own children – we get phone calls asking “Mom, did I ever outright lie to you?” and such as that. Guess its coming back around to him.
    Hang in there Tommy – she was evidently doing this type of thing while living with her mom and now that is why she is staying in your home. It could be worse – she could be in some kind of a boot camp and she would really be upset.

  56. Tommy, I always try to carefully weigh every issue & examine all sides before passing judgement, but yours is one case that I nearly 100% agreed with your side. I had some misgivings with the video alone until I read your Facebook responses and posts, and saw what a responsible and old-fashioned approach you have to parenting. Today’s kids are far too soft and each generation is getting more & more spoiled (I’m about your age, and I can already see the huge difference between my childhood and today’s kids). A lot has to do with the ultra-technological, plugged-in-24/7 society of today, but the parents are mostly to blame, pure and simple. Any man who still raises his children to say “Sir” and “Ma’am” is a hero in my book. We need more firm but fair parents out there, instead of the New Age psychobabble parenting that gives kids ribbons for last place lest their precious psyches get damaged irreparably. My hat is tipped to you, Sir.

  57. How can he analyze the respect that your daughter has for you without even meeting her? I don’t understand how Dr. Phil can sit there and say that “his generation” of raising children has been super effective. Murder and violent crime levels are on the rise and also the molestation and child abuse rates. Teen pregnancy rates are soaring. Please Dr. Phil, maybe you should be re-evaluating your take on a few things. I am a mom of three growing boys, and I promise you that if any of my kids did that the punishment would have been even more severe. My children know what respect is. They know what honor is. They are taught that chores are the beginnings of learning to work for your money. If my kids want something it goes on their save list. Which means they have the opportunity to earn their allowance by doing their chores. That money that is earned (when the do their chores without complaint or reminders) they can choose to save or spend, after they give 10% to the church. My kids understand that if they want that huge remote control car or that set of legos they save for it. If they don’t save they don’t get. I am not made of money nor is my husband. We work hard for what we earn and want so should they. I have chosen to rear my children that way. In much of the same manor that Mr. Jordan raises his kids I have raised my that way. It was hard at first for them to learn, but they say yes mam, yes sir, no mam no sir and know the value and hard work of a dollar. I applaud Mr. Jordan for stepping up and doing what parents now a days need to do more.

    • I applaud you ma’am (I was raised that way too :)) How ever while I agree with you on most of what you said, I do disagree with forcing your children to give to the church; I feel this is wrong and it should be their choice, when they are old enough to make a decision to do so. If they want to save for something they should be allowed to make their decisions on money that you say they have earned, as it is our choice as adults to do so, if they want to put all their money toward the item they are saving for they should be allowed to do so. I am not saying that giving to the church is by any means wrong as it helps to fund really great opportunities, but as children they do not grasp the enormity of that and they should not be made to put money into something they do not yet understand.

  58. Quote from last paragraph:
    “Withholding Priveleges – Doc, I got that one covered, Sir, exactly according to your instruction. I’m permanently withholding my daughter’s laptop until she learns a few of the aforementioned lessons you’ve mentioned.”

    Is it a typo here or did you just reveal that you shot up a different laptop to put the point across and you still have her laptop to give back to her after she has learned her lesson?

      • Well, I think part of the lesson would be that she needs a job to get the money to buy a new laptop, so it’s kind of self-fulfilling. :)

        • ummmmm if u have kept up…she is 15…not a lot of jobs for adults let alone minors. her CHORES are her job and when she does them correctly for a long enuff period she get paid for them. just like a real job. in the real world if u don’t do your work u get fired so she’s lucky

          • Ummmm…if YOU have kept up Jacque you would understand that this is a young adult we’re discussing and she most certainly can earn money and buy her own stuff. Did you wait till you were 25 to get a job?? I’m 36 and have been working since I was 14. Hell, I mowed lawns for extra scratch. Kids at any age need to know the value of a dollar + what it means to put your money where your mouth is.

          • At 12, I was working weekends at the family restaurant. At 15, I wanted a weekend life so I started babysitting three little girls ages 7, 4, and 10 mos during the week. At 17, I began working forty plus hours a week at a convenience store. I worked there through my last years of high school and throughout college.
            I really have nothing against your post, Jacque, but I did want to point out that work can be found at any age. My six year old son gets an allowance for picking up his toys and putting his laundry away. When there is something he really wants to buy but hasn’t saved his allowance for, he works and earns money by doing odd jobs such as picking up sticks and rocks in the yard before my husband mows or by going to his aunt’s house and caring for her dogs while she’s off at work. (Her jobs takes her away from home about 2 weeks out of the month and I will walk him to her house and supervise while he feeds, grooms, and plays with her pups.)

    • He said he’s PERMANENTLY withholding her laptop…not temporarily withholding it..and she won’t be getting another one from him..if she gets one, she’ll have a job and her own money to buy it..LOVE it!!!

  59. I fully agree with the way you handled this situation as i would have done that same thing, your daughter deserves to learn and understand respect for not just her parents but for everyone in the world she might someday meet. I have a 6yr old daughter and she is a very respectful young lady as she has learned the values of getting her butt tore up when she steps out of line or disrespects someone in such a way. Dr. Phil might be, or seem to be a smart man on T.V but i still either way agree with what you did fully, Thanks for sharing everything with the world. It’s something that a lot of parents over the years have forgotten to do to there own children cause grounding kids these days does no good at all!..A good ole fashioned butt whooping will though…Or the shooting of there LapTop.

    Kevin J. Lane

  60. If it were up to Dr. Phil, the world’s children would be sniffling pansies. I’m 19 years old and even at 15 I respected my mom enough to not do something as disrespectful as Hannah did. I also, every day, had to clean the house ceiling to floor, be up at 5:45 am to have my mother’s coffee ready before she went to work, do my mothers laundry, make my mothers bed, have a glass of coke with ice before she got home, start up her car in the morning so it would warm up before she got in it. I did alot more for my mom, without a single cent of allowance, or even really having an ipod or laptop or any other expensive toy. We grew up without a whole lot, and honestly I’m a happier person because of it. I don’t need alot, I don’t want a lot. Alls I need is a good horse and a sunny day :)

    • I was like that at 15, as well. The car was warmed up for her every cold morning, I made her lunch and I cleaned the house. She would bring in the groceries and I put them away. I was more then happy to do all this for my mom!

  61. Everyone above me has already gave outstanding responses to your clip you ran with your opinion Dr. Phil. For one, it’s really none of your business and the dad has made it crystal clear to your show and other media outlets, that he wants no part of coming on your shows. Finally you are witnessing a parent who has it altogether or at least some real values. This is not one of your silly episodes or interventions. He’s not asking for your help. I hope you read every word of his response and see what a bad decision it was to run your side and opinion. I lost any respect I had for you and Matt Lauer the day I saw this air. :( So sad you all had to make this families business yours.

  62. Kudos…Glad to see you give it back to Dr. Phil. Use to watch him but once he started focusing on sensationalism to bring in the almighty buck, I stopped. His humiliation of his guests is far worse than anything you did.

    I grew up what respect was demanded. Did I get spanked? You bet! My mother was very big on humiliation of us in public and what you did does not even come close to what she did.

    Kids today do not seem to realize that NOTHING on the web is private. Twenty yrs from now much of what they are doing and saying now will come back to haunts them. If you don’t want it public, then don’t say say it or post it.

    No parent is perfect, including Dr. Phil. I’m sure that somewhere along the line he made mistakes also. And so much for he Dr. Phi families. He’s humiliated them to no end trying to show them the “right” way to do things. In most cases it really didn’t get better. So much for his methods.

    At this point Dr. Phil will do anything to get a few more moments of his name in lights. He has gone totally overboard. Kids are being truly abused daily and this is what he focuses on? He is nothing but an opportunitst. He always has to jump on the bandwagon even when he is not requested to do so. He should try minding his own business for a change. Go back into private practice Dr Phil.

    And keep up the good work at your end. I don’t know you but from what I’ve seen I Have more respect for your abilities than Dr. Phil’s.

  63. I love how also Dr. Phil never addresses cases like mine where I was basically held a “legal hostage” by my teen, who made charges of child abuse against me, with the aide of his friends and friends’ parents, whenever I tried to enforce him doing his chores, improve his failing grades, etc., and even grounding him when he didn’t fulfill his duties as a teen and member of my household.
    Tommy’s issues differ from what I went through with my failure of raising a teen (now 21 years of age, who was allowed by the laws and courts to make me a young grandfather while he was 17 and while on parole/probation because the law wouldn’t let me be a functioning parent), but Dr. Phil would OBVIOUSLY be familiar with such a case as mine.
    Now… if I would have been allowed to be a fully functioning parent (by the way, I had sole custody of my son from my previous marriage, which in itself was a major accomplishment, being a FATHER), like Tommy was able to, then my son, his friends, and his friends’ parents would NOT have been able to abuse the legal system in order for him to make me live by HIS rules.
    My parenting ability was taken out of my hands, and now my only son is a serious bane to Society. Why? Because of Dr. Phil’s hypocritical rules of allowing your child to do so. Dr. Phil and others like him change their answers to parenting depending on what current trends will get them the best ratings. His hypocritical instances of not practicing what he preaches on his own website backs that up.
    Tommy… you’re my Hero. And I still say you need to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for being the first parent I’ve SEEN who has actually been able to accomplish being a REAL PARENT, when others such as I have been victims to the methods that have been forced upon me by Dr. Phil’s followers, my son, and the allowed abuse of the Law. CHEERS, M’FRIEND!

  64. Sir, I don’t think I could have explained it anybetter than you. I along with my entire family agree with everything you said and everything you have done to gain all of this attention. I will be honest, I am about to be 22 – and I am scared to death to see what this nation comes to be within the next 30 years. Unless parents can bring back “old-fashioned” parenting again (as I am going to when the time comes), this country is in a HEEP of trouble, I reckon. Kids need respect, I still call anyone I talk to sir or ma’am. My parents did what they could to raise me and I think did a great job, EVEN though they were divorced by the time I was 10. But the fact remains, that they weren’t lazy and still raised me right… even through hard times. Mr. Jordan, you have my respect 100% and my support 100% all of the way.

  65. Pingback: Random Thoughts » Of Laptops and Twinkies

  66. Bravo, Bravo….Sounds like Dr. Phil is dangerously close to placing himself in such company of other so-called-”experts”,.. most noteably, Dr. Spock. A Little Research and Historic Fact sheds light to the fact that Dr. Spock (the self proclaimed parent/child “expert”) went to the grave having regretted his contribution in raising a generation of uncontrolled, underdisciplined, disrespectful degenerates. I found your blog a delight to read over. I appreciate the fact that you haven’t tried to make money off of the publicity you’ve received and have, at the same time, been so willing to communicate with these so-called experts in a way that they cannot manipulate or control to meet their own selfish ends. To put a biblical spin on all of this….let the perfect parent among us cast the first stone at Tommy Jordan!

    • Mr Graf, my sentiments exactly. Who decided Dr Phil was an expert, besides Oprah? I refuse to watch his show, because of his rude and arrogant behavior. The public has been reeled in by these so-called experts entirely too often. Tommy, I still believe that you had your daughter’s best interest at heart, and although you were hurt by her actions, you never intended to Hurt her. The media can criticize and pretend to know everything about everthing, but we both know they’re doing it for the almighty dollar. You’re a good Dad, and don’t let anyone make you feel differently. Stick to your guns! (pun intended)

  67. How long are you continue this blog for? Also why do you ask for people’s email addresses when they go to comment, and how do you stop Hannah for going on the internet when she is at school, what say one of her friends, lends her their laptop or something?

  68. I would just like to take a second to support you for the following reasons:

    1) I am 54 years old, you do the math as to the time frame in which I grew up.
    2) Let not discuss the time that my brother would not get dressed to go to the market with my mother. In response, my mother drug him out of the house and to the market in his underwear.
    3) Yes Sir is still part of my language and will always be. This country, the children (99.9%) of which is the parents fault for not ingraining into them the simple word “respect”.
    4) When us kids – my brother and I – got completely out of line, we were met with a probation officer who informed us that he would be checking on us and if there was something that he didn’t like, we were going to juvenile hall.
    5) This one is the best. When my father caught me in the park next to the high school smoking pot, he quietly came up behind me and stuck a 38 in my mouth and drug me out of the park to give me an ass chewing that lasted for hours.
    6) The belt lasted up till we were 11 years old. Any questions?

    Now. As for Dr. Phil. Yes Dr. Phil, I am talking about you. You have a TV show. What are the ingredients for a TV show to succeed? Ratings, Drama and a county full of sheep led by a defunct government.

    Well…There you have it…It is my opinion that you should not have destroyed the laptop, but merely wiped out the hard drive and threw it up on the closet shelf for some future use…I too spent my corporate life as a system analyst and know all to well.

    In closing, I would like to say that maybe, just maybe if there were more parents that had the guts to raise their children this or ever more strict, this country would be in a lot better shape.

    Sincerely,
    Anonymous as to not involve my family

    • He said he was going to put a bullet in it if it happened again, well it did so he did- say what you are going to do, do what you say; that’s perfect parenting in my book!

  69. Tommy you are right on target (no pun intended). It is a shame too many people don’t teach their children respect. Maybe that’s why these kids show no respect for their elders, teachers, parents and also themselves.

    I think you have good morals, and you keep up with the old school way of raising your kids.

    I am one of the 73% who agree with you.

  70. I have to say that teaching your children simple courtesy like Yes Sir and No Sir is evidently a lost art. Like writing in cursive, it’s apparently become unnecessary. Personally, I find that incredibly sad. Sort of like our calling older folks “Miss Mary” and “Mr Rob”. It’s respect. Heck, I’m 50 and I STILL refer to older folks that way. I know it’s a “southern” thing, but maybe it’s a southern thing that needs to migrate a bit. We always taught our two now adult children that they had the right to say whatever they wanted – with two provisions. #1 They kept a civil tongue in their head and #2 a respectful tone in their voice. Those rules weren’t established just to enforce our insistance on respect for us as their parents, if for no other reason, but to teach them to treat others respectfully as well. If those two habits are ingrained in us from the get go, then once in the “real world” it will stand us in good stead. Being mouthy has it’s place (yes, your daughter IS mouthy, and yes, she probably DID learn it from you)when joking around, but……. when push comes to shove and you want your opinions and ideas to be taken seriously and considered respectfully, those two traits will get you a whole lot farther than dropping “f bombs” every other word or using a snarky tone of voice.

  71. So Dr. Phill just what do you do when your recommendations are followed, & they don’t work with your child? She serves her time & then continues bad behavior. Why, you try the TJ approach: Shock & awe.
    You nailed Dr. Phil with the public humilation. I never would have thought of that. Good Work.

  72. It’s not just Dr. Phil who says 15-year-olds don’t have the ability to see and consider consequences like and adult can. That’s pretty much accepted physology and has been for decades. It’s not to say they can’t handle learning right and wrong, but impulse control is just not quite there yet. He’s right about that. But that’s not why I’m posting, so…

    I’ve been on of your naysayers on your page (you banned me actually, although I don’t think I said anything profane…but I was pretty angry at the time). I don’t even know why your video struck such a nerve with me, but it did. I imagined the worst possible scenario. I grew up in the rural South, in a country church, with tough parents who didn’t take any crap off any of their kids (still don’t…and we’re all over 35 now). So guns, God, strict parents…no problem for me to understand. I now teach high school, and I’m one of the teachers that kids just don’t mess with (at least not more than once) in my school. While I’ve seen the results of permissive parents, I’ve seen the results of parents who went too far, and I personally know at least one adult who tries to look like “the big boss” by being overly tough on their kids for an audience, but then aren’t very involved at all when no one is looking. This situation at first closely resembled that situation, and it bothered me enough to start reading and commenting, and making some judgements based on what I was seeing. Your FB page has, in a lot of ways, given the impression you were stirring this up a bit. Since you have been pretty prolific as a blogger, I took the time to research, and I can now see that you are a good guy, a good parent, who was trying to do right in teaching you’re daughter, and pretty much did…except for Youtube. My concerns that your child might be scarred and that you were not telling the whole story about her were most likely from my own experiences with kids. I just had a real heart-wrenching feeling I was seeing more of the type of behavior I abhor and of which I’ve seen the effects on the kids involved. I see that you are now acknowledging that you wish you hadn’t gone viral with the video, and are trying to get your FB page and your family out of the circus, and I’m really glad to see that, for all your sakes. I think your best bet is to make FB ALL about the garden for about three weeks…people will go away. Seriously. I wish you and Hannah and the rest of the family the best. And, honestly, no matter how much I or the other 80,000 people who are following this story want to have opinions and concerns and worries, when it comes down to it, None of us, even Dr. Phil, know you and your family. And in the end, that is where it is all going to matter, anyway. Because we will all go away, and your family and the people who really know your family won’t. Good luck to you all.

    • I am not commenting here to judge you I am here to ask you a question. As it looks from what you have posted here that you are in Gods faith am I correct? If so why were you judging this man thats Gods job not ours?

      • I don’t recall specifically judging anyone. I think I said that I respectfully disagreed with him. I made no judgments about him as a person, merely pointed out the irony of his stance considering his tv show’s perspective.

      • Are you addressing this to me? Why? I think it’s pretty clear that my post says that what I or others think doesn’t matter. Im not calling anyone a sinner or saying they are damned…so not judging, really. I did mention God, very briefly, but I didn’t speak to my own beliefs and I’m pretty sure I didn’t ask for an impromptu sermon. Speaking of judging.

  73. Me and my wife differ on some of these methods on how to raise and discipline our kids. I Was raised like Tommy and in some ways It caused problems later but I already had some problems to begin with that no one knew how to deal with. Overall though my parents were alot like his and I learned som important values from it and Im not a bad person and I learned how to survive in the world. Dr. Phil is not a doctor in my opinion he is an entertainer and Tommy is spot on about him. I would have done the same thing Tommy did in that situation and I support himm a thousand percent.

    • My parents raised me like a boy. They would even send me to the grocery store walking late at night ALONE before I had 12 years old, they used to beat me like a man and humiliate me whenever possible. I am a petite girl in my mid 20′s who isn’t afraid of a darn thing, I dare a man try to come and harm me…I wont scream or run….I will beat his butt and he won’t see it coming!! lol

  74. Mr. Jordan, I know you did not ask for this notoriety, but you have it; and you’ve become a hero to a lot of parents. Thank you for standing up for instilling values and responsibility in your daughter. She may not understand it now, but she’ll appreciate it so much when she’s older. God Bless you, sir.

  75. You have to start at birth accountability and consequences for your actions and that a person is only as good as their word. My son learned that lesson on his on and kept his word before he ever started school.

  76. I agree with you 200% Today’s kids need stronger discipline! “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the road of correction shall drive it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15

  77. If in fact your daughter posted all these things then yes a punishment was necessary. I had 2 teenage daughters and 3 teenage grandaughters so I know all the things that they can do or say as most will especially the girls! I just felt like popping those bullets into the laptop and with each round fired explaining this is for this and this one is for that…and the one that made me cringe was your mom said if I had one left put one in for her? It just sounded too much like they were meant for the child herself! I believe a video tape of selling the laptop and letting her know it was not coming back would have had the same effect. The gun analogy just seemed to over the top! I was not one for spanking and I chose not too but my parents did and I have no resentment nothing but love always for my parents but had my daddy and who was a very strict father used a gun to pump bullets into a posession of mine instead of a punishment I was more familiar with…it would still be with me! Also agree it should have not been publicized and dealt with in private

  78. Just wanted to say that I really loved this rebuttal! Although it’s very long you’ve nailed the points 100% and I was happy to read it.

    I’m 25 and we don’t have kids yet – I’ll probably need to wait a few years til we have some savings in the bank – but I do intend on teaching my kids all the rules of respect and turn them into upstanding citizens of the next generations…

  79. My neighbor told me that when his 16 year old daughter defied him and drove away in a car that was going to be hers, but had no insurance or tags on it; Driving so recklessly that she ran over her Dad’s foot, injuring his foot badly. Upon returning home she was scolded and put on indefinite restriction. Her “good friend” at school helped her scheme to get even. She advised her to call social services and report abuse. For the next 24 months the parents were watched, visited in their homes at odd hours, approached at their jobs, and generally berated by the social workers.
    Their daughter has since repented (turned away from) defiant behavior and has embraced harmony as a better way to live.
    Her “good friend” became an unwed teenage parent and now is a struggling single mom in her 20′s.
    I like the old ways, of respect and conservation and nourishment of love, life and treasure.
    I like the simple, common sense ways Tommy Jordan is supporting. I have always thought the “Dr B. Spock” and “I’m OK, You’re OK” ideals didn’t work. They were an idea that man invented, and while man has invented some great stuff, just about exactly the parenting ideas that Tommy is talking about can be found in the book, Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, BIBLE…

  80. I’m so glad you made the point about these “kids” being responsible enough to drive. The other point that needs to be made about public humiliation and embarrassment is that even at 15 years old, if she were to screw up bad enough, she can still be loaded up in the back of a police cruiser with her hands cuffed behind her back. The real world does NOT care if her tender, delicate feelings are hurt. Simple cause/effect relationship, walk the line and everything will be just fine.

    Dr. Phil. smh

  81. You were right, so right, to keep all dialogue in writing and online so you couldn’t be misquoted or misunderstood. Believe me, you have just made Dr. Phil look stupid. I sooooo agree with your reasoning. You’ve got parental wisdom beyond your years, having raised 3 daughters myself. Good luck with all this.

  82. What dr.Phil did was perfect. He told Tommy Jordan everything he did wrong,which was alot. So no one should be saying awesome job. He embarrassed his daughter in front of millions of people. She only embarrassed him in front of what, 400 friends. What he did was completely inappropriate.

    • Dear “concerned parent” I feel sorry for your children if you believe Dr. Phil!!! We need more parents like Tommy out here! When I showed my 2 teenage boys the video, they both laughed and said “boy we know better than to run our mouth about our parents when we’re mad”.
      Kids today have no respect, they expect to be handed everything and not have to work for anything. When driving down a street, kids refuse to move because they think they own the road. So I will drive right up to them and blow my horn, they usually cuss me out or fly the “friendly” finger, (guess I ought to be careful as to not get shot one of these times) but I’m so sick of the disrespect…and it starts at home! Parents who have teens/kids who behave this way in public should feel ashamed of themselves for not teaching values and RESPECT.
      Tommy, I agree whole heartily 100% with you and I LOVE your response to Dr.(hypocrit)Phil.

    • I have to disagree with you. What Mr. Jordan did was appropriate. He did, as stated by another person, was keep a promise that he made to his daughter. She embarresed not only him but his wife and a woman who lends a hand to him and the family. That kind of disrespect cannot go without some kind of punishment in my mind. In all honesty if i were to pull a stunt like that and my father had the same reaction, i would applaud him and thank him for what he did. He did teach her a lesson.
      Mr. Jordan, good job sir.

  83. Dr. Phil, said you, Tommy was acting on revenge. WHAT? No way! You told her that if she repeated an action again, you’d shoot her lap top. If you didn’t follow through, then you would have been a liar. I never told my children I was going to do something I couldn’t or wouldn’t do. I told my son when he was 4yrs old, that if he bounces his ball in the house again, I was going to cut it up. Well it dropped and he said it was an accident. Too bad, I said I’d cut it up and I did. At age 3, my son was taught to hold the door for his sisters. At age 8, he was picking up shingles for a roofer. At age 11 he was mowing lawns sometimes 10 hr days. He roofed from age 14 to 18, then roofed in the mornings and waited tables at night to pay for college. At My son is a teacher Christian high school in Kentucky, and he uses many childhood stories from his childhood, as examples of how he became the person he is. He is 23, bought a house, pays his bills ON TIME, got his 4yr degree in 3yrs, and worked his way through college. Started college with 10,000.00 in the bank, and graduated with 17,000.00 in the bank. Our son called from college one day just to thank us for teaching him to say he was sorry. Our kids had to say they were sorry; the other had to say back I forgive you, and then hug. I said, “I know you don’t mean it now, but some day you will need these words.” And they did. My daughter, 28 & her husband started a church in Cincinnati. She plays the piano for all services and works with many singing groups. This is a child that was not allowed to stop piano lessons. I told her she was not going to be an adult that says, “I wish my parents hadn’t let me quit. She got her teaching degree in 3yrs like her baby brother, is a stay at home mom with 3 boys. Now my middle child, 25 who we at one time thought was the spawn of Satan, has turned out really well. Spanking did no good for this hard headed, tender hearted child. Now two hour lecture from daddy seemed to do more good, however she got plenty of spanking too. She also pays her bills on time, went to college for two years, got married and works as a server at Cracker Barrel. She worked full time while her husband worked part time so he could go to air plane mechanic school. He got his mechanics license and is now going for his pilot’s license. We were criticized for homeschooling our kids, and for the standards that we taught them, and people said our kids would never learn how to interact with people. Well two teachers and a waitress who makes more that a teacher’s wage pays their bills, all owns their own homes, never misses church. I think they turned out. So we spanked, taught right from wrong, played with and read to them, took them to church. Now we can put our heads down at night and sleep in peace:)

  84. A few things:

    1.) Where can you take it next?
    Well, in my family, we had this wonderful (was not fun in any way) punishment called the DTTS. It meant, no Door, no Television, No Telephone, no Stereo. Yep, you read that right, no door. To a teenaged girl who’s had privacy, it becomes a precious commodity once lost. So, that’s one to put in your pocket, if you’d like.

    2.) You lost me at “YOUR methods of child-rearing are producing a new generation of child molesters.” – I really doubt lazy parenting is what causes adult to be attracted to children. I see your point and your frustration, but that purposely inflammatory statement lessens the overall impact of the rest of your argument.

    ~Just another functional adult who was raised by parents who Dr. Phil thinks were wrong.

  85. I was astonished when I saw your shoot-em up video. I understand your regret that it went viral but I agree with what you did. I’m completely impressed with your next video and also your blog entry. You bring up some very wise points and seem to really put Dr. Phil on the ropes. I hope and pray that through all this your family will agIn become a tightly bonded unit. I’d love to see Dr. Phil’s face when your daughter publicly thanks you for what you did. I believe that with the kind of man you seem to, that there is a strong possibility that it might just happy.
    Thank you sir, I tip my hat to you.

  86. thank you I so agree I look at today’s teenagers and they are rude, could careless for man kind and have no self confidence what is wrong with this picture oh wait everything I’m a single mom of a 11 year old girl and 2 boys and trust me I would have done it to them too

  87. Tommy’s response is one of the most lucid, well-thought-out, factually correct and bitingly accurate responses I’ve seen in a long, long time! Tommy, you’ve got a lot more commonsense wisdom than the poor misguided 27% in the poll that didn’t agree with you. I would hazard a guess that you love your daughter with the same degree of fierceness that you chastized her with in the video, and THAT’s why it all works. Because you love her enough to get angry (really angry) when she behaves like an irresponsible unthinking disrespectful neanderthal when you know she can and should be so much more ahead of the game. Parents have two hands – one to spank with, and one to hug with. Continue to hold her to the high standards, and she’ll turn out a princess.

  88. When I first saw the video, I had mixed feelings, my main problem was the fact that there must have been some deficiency in communication between you and your daughter for you to have responded as publicly as you did. But then, putting things into much more deeper context and perspective, and reading your comments continously, I can get to know more about you and I would say I agree with your philosophy for a good amount and fully appreciate your efforts in trying to bring up a decent kid.
    While I might not completely agree with everything you said in this response (or maybe rather, your speaking tone), I would like to say that I FULLY agree with you comments on Dr. Phil’s hypocrisy.
    If you think about it,

    THE ONLY REASON HE IS COMMENTING AND TRYING TO BRING YOU TO HIS SHOW IS TO MAKE MONEY MORE FOR HIMSELF.

    He wants to increase his ratings and popularity by riding on the back of the “popularity” of this incidence, especially as it falls under his “supposed area of specialty”.

    Love the way you weren’t scared respond bodly.
    He’s not the only one who’s got a sizeable audience now, lol.

  89. Pingback: Parents With Guns and Brains and Facebook Accounts « the 36 review

  90. Tommy, I am dealing /w 17,19, 21, and 28 yr old kids who want to rent out rooms in a house I have. The disrespect, vulgarity, and again–the DISRESPECT is utterly amazing. Had these kids been taught some self control and respect, they would not be getting *evicted, *put in jail, and *fired. I have one, the 19 yr old *WALK AWAY* from me every time I talk to him. He won’t look at me when I am speaking to him, he lies to me, and he doesn’t want to do any work around the house to keep it clean. This is society today and which will make up our work force and our nations leaders. I fear for our future as a nation. I am 50 and worry…

    • Lynelle, then perhaps you need to take a page out of Tommy’s book. If your children are disrespecting you it’s because you are allowing them to disrespect you. All but the 17 year old are legal adults and you are not responsible for them. Time to empty the nest! Perhaps when their only alternative living arrangement is the local homeless shelter, perhaps living with you and your rules will look pretty attractive. Your house, your rules, end of discussion. Your way or the highway! If they don’t like it, there’s the door. And when the 17 year old sees that you mean business, they may decide it’s time for them to shape up too! You are enabling your children to be “bad citizens” and thus contributing to the future you fear. If you are that worried and afraid of the future, then perhaps you need to do your part to make the future better by starting in your own home and stop letting your children essentially hold you hostage in your own home. Time to chuck the self-defeatest attitude, grow a backbone and take back control of your home and your life!!!

  91. You are completely correct. Yes, the video may have been a moment of weakness, but I think it passed the correct message. Dr.Phil, In my opinion, is in the wrong. (By the way, just to put this in perspective, I’m 16)

  92. Tommy your my hero! Dr. Phil is an egotistical, pompus jerkwho is in love with himself. Soooo glad you called him out. I’m sorry for anything negative you and your family may go thru because of this it’s not fair. Just know everyday God fearing parents who love and care about their families are behind you 100% if there would beanyway to help you I would!Stay strong and God bl;ess you!!!

  93. I’m seventy-six, mother of four, grandmother of thirteen, great-grandmother of seven. Hope all of them see the video and read your posts and carry your great message around with them. You have a marvelous way with words and make everything you’ve written interesting, well thought out, intelligent, logical, and practical. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us.

  94. The comment that doctor Phil made about most of the nation thinking that that your actions are abusive is laughable. Most of the nation agrees with your actions.

    • I agree w/ u Tom. Respect of your parents is paramount! Dr. Phil is, has and always be looking out for Dr. Phil and his ratings. You would be just another means to his end, $$$… Don’t give him the opportunity to use your personal family issues for his benefit.

  95. Tommy, that is a well laid out response to this issue. And I give you HUGE kudos on this. I will not take up your time Sir, but I do like the fact you have placed a halt on this getting more out of control then it has.
    AS parents we are dealing with what I now term “feel good generation” were if we don’t give our children awards, and atta boy’s often then we are picking on them. Life will not hold back with the surprises your daughter will face. And manners are something that is being lost at an alarming rate. Hang in there, as there is support for you and your family.
    With prayers always-
    Kathy Hagle

  96. PROOF that Dr. Phil is out of touch with common sense. He states the 70+% of the people that voted in favor of Mr. Jordan’s actions as being appropriate where from parents who basically are nut cases. Then goes on to quote stats of child molestation’s?!!!
    Isn’t it interesting that the media seeks to attack Mr. Jordan who obviously has values which two thirds of the population agrees with when it comes to rearing a child. This is PROOF positive that there is an obvious attempt to destroy the fabric of positive child rearing. Mr. Jordan, keep up the good work

  97. I thank Dr. Phil is an over payed opinionated hypocrite you did real good I thank you made your parents proud if there still alive or watching down on you from Haven. More and more parents are doing thangs the old way becouse the new ways just dont work and never have worked like the oldways

  98. EXCELLENT job of refuting Dr. F***ing Phil using his own words! You are a very wise, intelligent, caring man who obviously loves his family enough to do what’s RIGHT, not what’s EASY. It doesn’t matter what “famous” people say about your parenting style — they live in a bubble anyway. You are doing a wonderful job in the REAL WORLD, and many of us applaud your courage. Thank you for taking us with you through this difficult time in your family life!

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  101. As far as resentment is concerned, I think this incident could have sparked a great deal of hidden resentment in your daughter if you had not followed up on it as you have, defending yourself pretty fearlessly against Dr. Phil, yet expressing regret over the way this became an international spectacle. Who knows, it might still create resentment down the road. For my part I hope this all leads to increased love and respect in your family. I hope it doesn’t lead to your daughter becoming chronically afraid of you, or chronically resentful. My advice (unsolicited, of course) is to invest in making sure that no matter how you feel, your love is as easy for her to see as your anger. You might think your love for her is obvious, but based on the fact that she posted what she did, that’s a sign that she might not be seeing it. The message from dad probably conflicts very much with the messages in the social world where she is trying to survive. It’s VERY tough to convince modern teenage girls in America that they can be both loveable and loved. I respect you, but it’s a fearful kind of respect, and fear doesn’t necessarily leave much room for love. I hope that the love and support she gets from you are more than enough to counterbalance the anger and the effects of international backlash. And I hope you are just as intentional and open about showing how much you love her as you were about showing your anger. In fact I hope you outdo yourself in that department.

  102. In a few years….when she becomes independent and financially stable and you become a dependent, old man who can’t even dress up by himself……..you will come back to her….and she will probably walk away from you. Karma is a bitch, indeed.

  103. I agree with what you’ve done 100%. Just want to mention that even tho I am not christian (not religious in general) I believe in good old-fashioned common sence, respect and responsibility. Moral standarts are supposed to be common for everybody, liberal or not. Spoiled kids does not always mean happy kids, Dr. Phil.
    I’ve never watched your show, but came across one episode once. And I should tell you that it was disguasting what you did to those people, humiliating them publicly. I think that caused them more trauma, then family stuff inself. Do you think they will ever forget how they were broadcasted in their misery? Don’t think so.
    I am a young woman and don’t have kids yet, but certainly hope that when I will, I’ll be able to raise them with those values you are talking about put into their heads.
    And spanking is not an abuse, and grounding is not an abuse. I am sure that what matters is how far you go with it (like in any other matter, I guess). You don’t beat up your kids to death, you spank them. Do you know the meaning of the word, people?
    I’ve been grounded as a kid, but my parents would always tell me why I was grounded. And this is the most important thing and I am sure Mr. Jordan done it right. That punishment had not come from nowhere, and it is not like Hannah did not know why she was punished. She was given a well good line of reasoning and pointed out to all the rubbish she wrote in that letter. I hope she will learn her lesson well.
    Way to go, mr. Jordan.

  104. I hope that when i move out i have as much respect for my parents as everyone should. I mean i’m not the best best behaved but by no means would i ever do anything so bad that my parent/parents would shoot my computer.

  105. I don’t even know how I ended up right here, however I assumed this publish used to be great. I do not understand who you are but certainly you’re going to a well-known blogger in the event you aren’t already. Cheers!

  106. I’d be very honored to buy you a beer sir. I could write a lot more, but you don’t need to hear it or deal with it. Your plate is full. You do however have the best thing I can offer you sir. My respect.

  107. You are one of the wisest mans I have ever seen!!!! If Dr Phil doesn’t know what real humiliation in public is, I would gladly introduce him to my former teachers from a decade ago, they can tell him the difference!! My mother used to go inside my classroom and humiliate me in front of the whole class when I was in high school if she found out I was skipping classes. I still have nightmares lol….but I graduated and studied in one of the best art universities in America!! I guess after all it wasn’t that bad. Close weak minded persons like Dr Phil are the ones that have this generation messed up!!!

  108. I read all of your posts. I have a friend (no, really – it was a friend, not me) who had a 15 year belligerent, disrespectful, ungrateful, lazy 15 year old daughter (who had everything). If the daughter didn’t “get her way”, it would usually end in an all-out tantrum with a lot of name calling and foul language. During one of these tantrums, the daughter threatened to call CPS, again. (That is a threat kids use to hang over the parent’s heads). Her Mom handed her the phone and begged her to do it. She wanted the daughter to go see if foster care was better than living at home. Of course, the daughter backed down and never used that threat again. Mom had the number to CPS posted by the phone and said she would call them herself. The daughter’s behavior did get better after that because she knew that her Mom would make the call.

  109. B*R*A*V*O ….. I stand and applaud you sir … You ARE a MAN in the honorable sense of the word. Somewhere along the line in recent history society has let go of these utmost of basic courtesies. I almost used the word “common” to precede the word courtesy, but in my personal view it is no longer common. I also passionately believe when these values and morals began to be less important to families, society has taken a step further into the “what’s in it for me” mentality instead of what can I do to care for my fellow man. I also believe technology albeit a wonderful medium has at times taken the place of the wisdom of adults as to the principals of what is right and what is wrong. A babysitter if you will, one that does not have the the ability of reason formed from life’s experiences. Do not get me wrong, it does afford access to science and history to educate that most people have easy access to. I am a parent of two outstanding women ages 21 and 25. There is not a day that goes by my youngest is not exposed to the ignorance and rudeness of the people she comes in contact with which opens the door to discussions on why are people so self centered and even more so, why are they so rude and mean. I’ve done the best job that I was so responsibly given to raise them. Sure I made mistakes. Big ones at that, but like you say I had no instruction manual other than the Holy Bible. I applaud you once again sir for taking a serious deep commitment in the most important job a parent has. To raise responsible children. Again, bravo to you for making a stand and even making the punishment fit the crime of going public and holding firm your ground on what you wholeheartedly believe what is wrong and what is right.
    Sincerely and respectfully,
    Marie McGowan

  110. Dr. Phil is just upset that he didn’t land you for his show and is trying to get some publicity off this no matter which venue. Every time I read your responses to a media outlet, I am more and more impressed with you. My favorite: if Dr. Phil was genuinely concerned about these kids he would be practicing behind closed doors and not in a nationally publicized venue. I’m sure his response to that will be that hundreds of families have the same problems and treating one or two publicly will help others resolve their own problems, but the fact is, each family unit is unique and just because I saw something work on the Dr. Phil show doesn’t mean it’s going to work with my family. Great response, Tommy. I’m impressed with your logic and your even keel, because if it were me, I’d be publicly telling Dr. Phil where he could shove his bald head.

  111. Thank you for this well versed response. I am sick if Dr. Phil’s idea of parenting when he was saying – what do you do next time? Did your daughter not learn the lesson? 15 year old people are not dumb and they do learn. His response was disrespectful to both of you.

  112. Dear Mr. tommy jordan you are awsome for what you did to your daughters laptop my dad did similar things to me growing up and where very tough with me and now being 20 i thank them for what they did i think you proved a great point with one issue that my generation faces they think they have it soooo hard and life is un fair where really there dead wrong dr phil doesn’t know what hes talking about just because you a dr doesn’t mean you know what you are talking about my dad “humiliated” me in public many times when i tried to steal candy when i was 10 and other times. I turned out fine better them most kids my age i had to work for my first cell and laptop and car i-pod in construction and had job as CNC instructor during high school which payed better then most adults get today because my parents where tough with me it made me who iam today so again i think you did the right thing i personally would have used shotgun but that just me

  113. You are amazing sir! Very well written!! Take that Dr. Phil and all those other people who have made a career of profiting from others issues.

  114. “Dr”. Phil and his show exploit others for profit. It is no different than the Jerry Springer show. (Well, other than the fact that the audience does not chant “Dr. Phi”, “Dr. Phil”)

    I particularly loved the comment regarding the 15yr old brain “She has a fifteen-year-old brain, where you can’t really expect her to be able to predict all the consequences of her actions and weigh this stuff out….” Really?! Come on already. Maybe this is the case of a 10-11yr old, definitely not a 15yr old, who, no doubt already is driving a motor vehicle with a permit, AND will be driving said vehicle solo very shortly!

    I do not agree with the supposition that you brought yourself down to her level at all. You kept your word as to her punishment, in the event there was another “Facebook occurrence”. You were consistent, kept your word, and followed through. Where is the problem there? Also, other than the curse words you used when quoting your Daughter’s FB status, as far as I know, you did not use any curse words or raise your voice. I do not know if I could or would have been able to stay as docile and calm as you were in that situation. I strongly believe that had I been in that situation,not only would I have used my .380 and the entire box of ammunition, I also would have brought out my 9mm AND then my Husbands .380. So, I commend you on your fortitude and restraint! :)

    Also, while we are on the subject…..why do certain folks assume that just because you live in the South and have a Southern drawl, you are “uneducated”? That just shows you the mentality of the people who have said this. FYI, Wikipedia states “The Southern dialects make up the largest accent group in the United States.”, that is an awful lot of uneducated people. LOL I will end on that note.

    As one parent to another, I will again say “Tommy, keep up the great work!”

  115. I respect you for your authentic and genuine style. And I applaud you for calling Dr. Phil out…he is and always has been one of the worst “bully”‘s of our time..he humilates people on national tv constantly..and he is extremely biased and unfair on his program. Your sincerity and good values are what American needs right now. I know you most likely posted your original message to your daughter thinking that only a few people would see it..and you never imagined it would go viral and have the impact it has had…and you have handled it all in such a respectful, honest manner. The media loves to create chaos…and I applaude you in so many ways for not feeding into their mania by not going on on these shows and controlling the way you respond. I have seen the media (and ESPECIALLY DR. PHIL) take complete control of an interview and make it spiral in a direction that has no resemblence of the truth, only to humilate and make a “villian” out of an unintentional situation. Best of luck to you and your family. It is so grounding and comforting to know there are still people out there who simply talk in an honest, authentic and common sense way.

  116. Pingback: To Punish Daughter, Dad Destroys Her Laptop: - Page 5 - Political Wrinkles

  117. I totally agree with you what you did. I am a mother of 2 grow men (boys). Sometimes you need to show them what they so is wrong. Telling them doesn’t seem to work. When my youngest son was about 15… He decided to start goofing off on the bus. Then everyone was. The Bus driver has enough problems trying to get our children home safety form school without dealing with unruly kids. So I decided to hold an intervention on the bus with my child stand up beside me and me telling me what I expect from him from that point on. All the kids had to listen. Embracing? Sure! But he was embracing me by the way he was acting and causing dangerous situations on the bus. I was thanked by the school and bus driver. He did not get in trouble on the bus for the rest of the year.

  118. My main problem with this whole Dr. Phil thing is this “Public Humiliation” statement. I, sir, do not know who your daughter is. If I met her today on the street I would not know that she was the topic of your original video. Dr. Phil is stating that you humiliated her in front of the entire world when, in all actuality, only people familiar with you and your family will know who your daughter is. Roughly the same amount of people that potentially would have seen your daughter’s Facebook post. Dr. Phil is exaggerating and you seem to have also missed this point. You were right, sir and you need not feel badly for your daughter’s public image. She is still anonymous and only she can break that anonymity; an act I hope you will personally steer her away from.

  119. I showed all of this to my 17 year old son who has been known to experience some creative parenting as well. His opinion is that Hannah had it coming, but wondered why the hard drive wasn’t wiped clean and the computer given to a charity… By Hannah of course. As well as some “community service hours”, since she inflicted everyone in her path with this garbage, she should have to serve them in some way, maybe a soup kitchen, to see what real suffering is. We did this to our son when the $500 car we provided him wasn’t good enough. He walks or rides his bike now, and serves the homeless to see how awesome his life is. We gave him 40 hours. He’s a LOT nicer now.

  120. When my 8 yr old stepson broke his Christmas toy the very same day he got it, I was dismayed. But when he said it was no big deal; his dad and I would just get him another one, he was set straight! If he wanted that particular toy, he either fixed the one he broke, or bought another one himself! And when he bet a neighbor kid $5 that his Hot Wheels car was faster, and lost, and tried to renege on his bet because he “didn’t want to waste his money”, I made him understand that he is only as good as his word, and made him pay up. No one else was going to pay HIS bills that HE runs up. You are SO correct in your parenting technique! Ignore the quacks like Dr. Phil.

  121. You know my Mum did the exact same thing to me when I was a kid! I can’t remember what my mum wanted me to do (prob tidy my room) but I was being a complete arsehole about it. What I do remember was my mum grabbing a hammer, a bin bag and me and taking me upstairs. She told me this was my last chance, if I didn’t do as I was told my favourite toy was going to be introduced to the hammer. I refused…toy met hammer. I quickly saw the error of my ways! All she ever had to do from that day forward was bring out the hammer & I was rushing off to be obedient. My mother taught me to respect others and would chastise me in public if necessary…my mother was the best. I am the person today because she was my mother 1st & my friend 2nd. Iwas brought up with firm guidelines and I knew that if i stepped outside those lines I would be pulled in so fast my head would spin. I love & am so grateful to my mother for loving me enough to do the right thing!

  122. I laugh when I hear kids complain about the chores they have to do, and “I can’t wait till I move out!”

    What do they think will happen when they’re OUT of their parents’ house?

    I’m 38 years old and I have “chores” too. And no, I don’t get paid to do my chores.

    I do my chores because if I don’t do them, I’ll live in trash, starve, and have no clean dishes or clothes. I don’t like the floor to be sticky under my feet; so, I clean it.

    And if I don’t feed my dog, she will pester the living hell out of me until I feed her.

  123. Americans, why do you always have to make such a big deal out of everything? Bunch of prudes and a silly item like this hits national media outlets.. is it just me who finds this extremely dull? Aren’t there bigger problems worth spending time on? He didn’t hit her, that’s all you need to know.. now let’s move on.

  124. Dr Phil became famous because of Oprah. That was back when he made more sense. Now in his never ending quest to remain on TV he needs material that he and his staff can use to try and tear apart regardless of what the world is really like. His show is a mild version of Jerry Springer and will continue to be. That’s the nature of his fans.

    Tommy, You handled your daughter in the proper fashion. She regrets it today but will thank you later on in life. Parents should again regain control of their children. Stay away from these silly “talking heads” like Dr Phil. Your children will thank you in the end.

  125. On the topic of public humiliation: I whole-heartedly disagree with Dr. Phil. If something happens in public, then the response can also be in public. There is a difference between responding to behavior in public and public humiliation.

    I remember telling my now 11 year old when she was 4 that if she didn’t stop pitching a fit in the restaurant, I would have to put her in a time-out in front of everyone. She didn’t believe me, I guess, because she kept at it. The next minute, there she was in the corner in front of everyone. Some people looked sad for her, you know, the poor baby. I didn’t give two hoots. Right there I taught her that if I gave her a consequence she could always count on me to follow through. You know how the remainder of dinner was? Divine! Then about a year later she wanted me to buy her something from the check-out at the market and I said no, to which she started to scream. I said, “Are you sure you want to pitch a fit? Right here in the middle of the market?” and she yelled, “YEEEEEEESSSS!” So, I said, “Alright, I guess you want a little attention. If you are gonna pitch a fit you should make it a good one.” Then I yelled, “Everyone look over here! My daughter is going to pitch a big ugly fit and I want to make sure you all see it!” That shut her up pretty fast.

    There are public responses to public outbursts. So, if you are going to pitch a fit in a store, or yell in a restaurant, or write something hideous on Facebook, then be prepared. Not everyone is going to say “Way to go!” They might also disagree, the first one to do so will be me, your loving parent. If you get a smart-mouth during your college class, your professor probably isn’t going to pull you into the hall and baby you. If you act irresponsibly at work, you will get canned, and there might be 20 people begging for your canning. So, it’s better kids learn how the world works in this regard early enough to change their behavior when yelling in a store or posting something moronic on FB as a 15 year old can still be a learning experience.

    Her 11 year old tween-ness is starting to reveal itself, so I’m constantly challenged, but she knows for sure two things… 1) I’ll always follow-through and 2) Don’t chap my buns in public, because you gonna get it straight back, and I’m probably better at it than you are.

    • ROFL! I loved that segment in that movie! Maybe one day I can get sponsorship from Madea on a video of some kind. Now THAT would be amazing. I love Tyler Perry.

      • I’m in school for a Bachelor Degree in Criminal Justice, and I’ll be off to Law School then. I do not really see anything wrong with what you did. And Dr Phil is wacky. His license was revoked! Hahahahahaha.

  126. What I find facinating is the generalization that certain individuals have made of Mr. Tommy. Whether they be of the media, doctors, professional slanderers or other supposed persons that feel they have a qualified interest in what is going on. As plain as the nose on my face, I can see the precise categorization being made about Mr. Tommy. But correct me if I am wrong.

    “What is this? This man wears a cowboy hat, smokes, lounges in a chair in the middle of nowhere, and puts hollow points into laptops when his child hurts his feelings. Oh and is that a stutter I hear? Why it is OBVIOUS that this man is uneducated and stagnant in his extreamist parenting skills. He must be held up for all to see as being a poor example as a father!” Bah humbug. With each post, each rebuttal, each comment or replay Tommy has made (and yes I have read every single word he has written that I can get my eyes on) Tommy has shown careful consideration of his daughter, careful thoughtfulness in his drive or purpose, restraint, wisdom, forethought and over all discernment for what will or will NOT contribute to the well being of his family. I am taking a few lessons from Mr. Tommy and I hope they stick in MY head too! Good for you!

  127. I am thoroughly impressed with how well you have handled the situation with your daughter, but I am even more impressed with how fantastically you have handled the media – specifically the “profession,” “authority figure,” Dr. Phil. You stood in his face and called him out on every point, logically, confidently and accurately. You are an example for parents – just as much as you are an example to everyone else – on how to conduct ourselves.

    I admit it too, parenting is hard work. It is tiring and frustrating. I often find myself not knowing what to do, what to say or where to go for the right solutions to my problems. I am thankful for Hannah and Tommy because I have been writing notes as I read through this entire article, including the links.

    I deepest thanks to you, sir.
    Regards
    Lance Daoust.

    • I really should have proof-read that first. My apologies on the several mistakes in there. I’ll fix it below:

      Tommy, I am thoroughly impressed with how well you have handled the situation with Hannah, and I am even more impressed with how fantastically well you have handled the media – specifically the “professional,” “authority figure,” Dr. Phil. You stood in his face (like a man should) and called him out on every talking-point, logically, confidently and accurately. You are an example for parents, just as much as you are an example to everyone else, on how to conduct ourselves. This was so well written.

      I admit it: parenting is hard work – it is tiring and frustrating at the same time as being rewarding. I often find myself not knowing what to do, what to say or where to go for the right solutions to my problems. But I push forward regardless. I am thankful to Hannah and Tommy.

      I deepest thanks to you, sir.
      Regards
      Lance Daoust.

  128. Dr. Phil is a quack and I have known this for a long time. And you are right that he makes a living embarrassing young people. I cannot imagine anything in his profession being less professional than to make public, let alone broadcast, sessions that should be confidential. I wonder how many of these young people later have second thoughts about being on the show when what should be confidential becomes public to so many.

    Another reason Dr. Phil is a quack is because like many in his field he calls religious indoctrination “medical treatment.” The addiction treatment industry in the US is run by quacks like him. They indoctrinate people (often against their will) into the religious 12-step program. These quacks claim the program is spiritual and not religious, yet a fourth grader could look at the 12-steps and tell they are religious, and three federal circuit courts have ruled them to be religious and ruled it in violation of the First Amendment to coerce people into the program.

  129. Some people in this world blame other people for there child or there young adult as i was a child i was monitored by my parents being real parents if i messed up sure i got my spankings yes i did dishes, clothes, swept, cleaned, mowed what ever i was ask to do for my chores its a part of life nothing wrong with it then nor today. If anything Dr. Phil might need to examine his thoughts and is even a real Dr.

  130. OK there are only a few things I want to say about this.

    I have no real problem with your punishment of your daughter only a few comments observations.

    I don’t have a problem with you shooting the laptop, but the more I thought about it the more I realized what was wrong. You spent hundreds if not a couple thousands on her laptop. Rather then shooting it, why didn’t you donate it? Or even better made her donate it. That way some good would have come out of it and someone less fortunate would have gotten something out of it.

    That’s the second complaint I have about your shooting the laptop. If you felt you had to do it, why didn’t you do it with her there? The entire point of teaching a lesson to children/teens, is that they need to be there for the point to be made. If there not there how are they supposed to learn it.

    Lastly is the reason for why you did it. From what you said in the video it sounds like all she did was vent off her feelings. I was raised in a very similar household as it sounds like your raising your daughter. I called people sir and ma’am, I was taught to be respectful and to do as I was told. However, as a teen I remember going to my parents and complaining about how strict and mean they were, just like they did to me. I also asked my dad, mom, and step-mom as well as my grandparents and they all said that they remember doing the same thing. I’m sure as a teen you vented to your friends and one day if your children have kids they will vent just as much. So the point is what did you punish her for? She didn’t do it to your face, instead she put it on a place where her friends, who probably feel the exact same way about their parents could see it. Yes it was childish and stupid, but she is at a childish and stupid age, one that thanks they are smarter and more mature then adults. So once again I don’t understand what you are punishing her for? The only thing I can see is your punishing her for venting her feelings and opinions, and not to you but to her friends.

    • Philip,
      All good points. I’ll respond to them in order.

      1: I didn’t donate it for the same reason I didn’t smash it with a hammer. I promised her what would happen if she did the same thing again. She did it. I kept my word… to the very letter that I promised. No more. No less.

      2: Because I feel like THAT would have been crossing a line. Maybe it’s not, but in my mind it would have been at the time. And I needed time as a parent to cool off and cool down. I remember all the talks my Dad and I had when he was freshly mad at something I’d done. They weren’t very productive. I’d rather have my own time to cool down a little and try to detach emotionally from the situation before I sit and talk with my child about it. Otherwise, I’m not sure I’d have been as easily able to “talk” when the time came.

      3: No one seems to get this part. I don’t mind at ALL that she vented on Facebook to her friends. What disgusted me, and still does, was the filthy language she chose to use to do it. No one in our house gets to use that kind of language like that. I’m sure ALL kids use it between themselves when no parents are around. I remember well what I said to my friends in private, one on one, when my folks weren’t there to hear it, but if they had been…. whooooo I wouldn’t have been able to sit down for a week! The language and the demeaning references to another human being (the “cleaning lady) were what got my dander up. I don’t consider “childish and stupid” to be an excuse at 15 years old. My eight year old son knows better, so I can assume a child her age should as well.

      • And now please allow me to reply to your response. I hope that something can be taken from out of all this.

        1. You kept to your word. Well done. However it still doesn’t make it the right thing to do. “A bullet through your laptop” is an exaggeration, even if you said it you should have treated it as a metaphor. Shooting the laptop is wrong, and I find your ‘I already said I’d do it’ excuse unacceptable. You gave yourself a reason to do the wrong thing. If you had taken more time off I doubt you’d have done the same, which moves on to our 2nd point.

        2. It’s good that you took your time to cool down from your emotions, but it wasn’t enough. You said it wouldn’t be productive if you hadn’t take any time off, but look at what you did. Was it any productive? Is there no better way you can think of to punish your daughter?

        3a. You’re using the following logic: ‘My parents did it to me, and look how I turn up! So why can’t I do the same to my kid? I want him/her to be just like me.’ If you still stand by that, fine. But know that there are always better alternatives to corporal punishment.

        3b. It’s good to hear that you understand why she would rant and use filthy language as long as you don’t hear it. But here’s the thing, she NEVER MEANT for you to see it. It is too bad she wasn’t cautious enough to block your family dog’s FB profile. It is too bad you caught her. Otherwise I’m sure she’d understand perfectly not to use such foul language in front of you.

        I hope that you can take something out of all this. Don’t just see the positive side of your action, but the negative side as well. No one stops learning.

        • Seng, I respect your opinions and you’re entitled to them. Don’t however, presume to instruct me as to what was or wasn’t enough, or devalue my logic, my reasoning, or my raising.

          Have your own opinions fine, but keep the psychology of parent-rearing to your own kids rather than telling me how to raise mine. Raise yours how you like. That’s how I raise mine. I don’t often speak in metaphors… I find plain language works much much easier. Analogies yes, but metaphor’s, not so much.

          • Hello tommy
            My name is laura I am 21 years old i think I missed out on all this kids getting everything they want era… I work hard for my family busniess and do all the house work in my home with out being asked.. however my younger brother and his girlfriend living in our house are having a child… They don’t work they eat 5 times a day (I do all they’re dishes).. they rarely even leave the house.. i bust my ass workin 2 jobs I take care of my 3 cats and walk his dog everyday that i was dead set against because of his lack of responsablty now its my job to make sure he doesnt get feed table scaps by them and walk him so he doesnt become over weight and have joint problems.. The real part of my strory here is my brother and I are not so far off in age only one year really we grew up togeather . The real diffrence is that he was spoiled rotten by my mother and my step dad.. we’ll I was under very strict living conditions at the same time i was growing a great relationship with my real father.. He thought me right from wrong how to work hard for myself and not to depend on people for anything in my life. He tought me everything. Not saying i was the easiest child i was diagnosed with add and diselxie but my dad never put me on medacation. He helped my write and focous on skills like math to displace my extra energy… Not to say we didnt have disagrements but i to can remeber all the times i was spanked for good reason (like running away in a mall) scary stuff for a parent.. If kids can’t know whats wrong how do we expect them to know… I dont think what you did was wrong.. when i was her age we had disc players and pokemon.. Just becase this world is stupid enough to chastise someone like you. Then let all these pint size mommas pop out kids on mtv.. You need to keep fighting the good fight because respect is a dying breed.. I can promise you from the bottom of my heart that you daughter will look back on this as and thank you.. The world is a scary place and we all need wisdom before its our time in it.. she should just injoy being a kid… dont let dr phil say shit because i bet his kids wont turn out as well rounded as yours will be thank you so much for your time sorry if im rambling its 6 am in canada

  131. dr. phil… really shame on you.. i respect what tommy jordan had to say in his “response to dr. phil” video i truly think he’s right. :)

  132. Kudos to you Mr. Jordan for loving your child enough to teach her better. There is not a doubt in my mind she will grow up to be a productive member of society because she has parents that care enough to correct her mistakes. I wish you and your family the best. Keep up the good work!!!

  133. I’m not going through and reading all of these comments. All I wanna say, is I loved your video. Too many kids are getting away with more and more, and growing up more disrespectful. Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have done it, but there are sooooo many people that agree with you. More that agree with you, then don’t agree with you. I’m actually kinda glad there are still “old school” parents out there. My grandparents and mom raised me, so I got a little of both worlds. However, my mom is still pretty old school. I’m 22 years old and I would not be nearly as strong as I am today, without them parenting the way they did. And Dr Phil doesn’t have a right to say anything anyway. He’s not even a “Doctor” anymore, because his license was revoked. I’ve never liked his show, and do not respect what he does, because the reasons you stated in your other video directed towards him. You rock!

  134. Think the rebuttal was great! Nice debate skills!

    Ever think of auctioning off the laptop on ebay for the MDA or your daughter’s college fund?

  135. Frankly I’m glad that Mr.Jordan and Dr.Phil have acted like gentlemen. I wasn’t impressed with Dr.Phil at first, but then looked a little closer after he helped Oprah over the mess in N.Texas about the beef. Guess what! he actually had some credentials !! And Mr.Jordan … you so said what I tried to say to my g’daughter this past Summer (but she was moving away, so she didn’t Really have to listen to me, right?) Seems to me that there are just too many young ones in the USA now that have never heard the words “you are responsible” !! They are the ‘non-believers’.. that is why this has so touched a nerve with Parents and others. I was so glad to see you out there Mr.Jordan!!

  136. Dr. Phil is , well, I don’t subsribe to being lectured to by him.

    Anyway, good job Tommy. When my son was small, I did something close. I took all “his toys” , sacked them in 55 gal trash bags, and set them by the road. After an hour or so, I placed them in the attic. Then I told him he may get a thing or two back later, depending on his actions.
    It was effective.

  137. Pingback: Tommy Jordan Fires Back At Dr. Phil with New Video & Website | The Old Fido Sysop's Blog

  138. BTW, Dr. Phil, if I had the opportunity to partake in the NBC poll I would have been part of the 73% who agreed with the punishment and NOT because I want to live vicariously through Tommy Jordan. Let’s not go on national television, claim to be a professional, and then completely guess as to why people voted the way they did. We want to live vicariously through Tommy Jordan? You also could have said they voted that way because they probably don’t like laptops. That statement is also a guess and sounds just as ridiculous. I, for one, would appreciate a little faith that when I respond to a poll asking a simple question, I’m doing so reasonably and responsibly because I can, you know, read… and understand a simple question… and say “yes” or “no” without being totally perplexed by what I was asked in the first place.

    Do I agree with the punishment? Yes!

      • Me too! Great response Andy. I meant to comment on that in my video response, but I got sidetracked and was trying to keep it halfway short.
        But yes.. I love how he just spoke for all parents like that. Or even to assume they were all parents at all. There’s no foundation to
        support that statement either.

  139. OMG….Dr. Phil is showing his true colours….as a person that watches his show I have to say in the segment marked”what are you gonna do now” where Hannah’s father says that her ipad/ipod could be taken away I find it quite ironic because on SEVERAL of dr.phil’s show and out of his own mouth as he says if you have to take everything out of your childs room and starts again then that is what you do. He (dr.Phil) is now saying its wrong to treat a child like this wow talk about back tracking. I TOTALLY agree with what this dad did and I think Dr.Phil really has to re-address how he handles children or teens on his show because he says yes follow through with your consequesnces to their actions and if you have to start again by removing everything from their room then DO IT but now that this FANTASTIC father is doing just that dr.phil is saying your wrong and you shouldnt do that . Make up your mind Dr.PHphil which is it follw through or let your kids run all over you . I WILL

  140. I got kickedd off this reply so let me finish I WILL NO LONGER BE WATCHING DR>PHIL and I think anyone that reads this should not watch cause dr.phil has just proven publically that he says one thing but expects another what kind of role model is that. I think maybe we should all take a lesson from Hannah’s dad and that lesson would be follow through with what you say because it is easier to have your kids hate for the moment then it is to have them in jail later on. Again I will not be watching dr.phil any longer and Ithink someone should start a facebook ban on dr.phil.

  141. Tommy, have you ever looked up or researched this guy? If you haven’t, you should, your eyes & mind would be wide-opened, mine just were. I’ve never been a Phil McGraw fan and always thought he was full of himself. After getting an education on him, his life, etc, well now I know why I never was a fan of his or was able to take anything he said seriously. In 2006 he supposedly stopped practicing psychology and claimed to have retired from it. So my question is, where does he get off giving YOU any junk about how you choose to raise your child and how dare he analyze you, your daughter, and family?!?! YOU are more qualified and know what you’re talking about when it comes to parenting/raising kids then this guy will ever know! I thoroughly enjoyed what you wrote to him, I agree and live by what you said & feel 110% as well, and I do not disagree with anything you said. You hit it, right on the mark!! Oooh! Btw, when I was a kid, my dad gave me those “head flicks” too, ya know, “to get my attention” is what he always would say! Ohh, did they ever! Also, the chores we have our kids do, we had to do them when we were teens too, we didn’t keel over from having to do them, lol! One more thing, my teenage daughter fully agrees with what you did on your 1st You-tube video/punishment, Tommy! Thought that was cool, very mature of her, and interesting too. Keep up the awesome posts and work, dude!! ~~ Kadee

  142. Very nice response sir.

    When I saw the Dr. Phil video last week the first thing I said to my wife was “Where does this guy get off saying not to embarass a child ‘never ever’? He runs a national talk show that profits from public family embarassment 5 days a week. That is the textbook definition of hypocrisy.”

    I’m very glad to see you thought of the same thing and publicly called him on it. :)

    On a side note, I agree with the suggestions to sell the laptop on ebay for charity (if you still have it). With the media storm associated I’d bet someone out there would pay a few thousand for it.

    Keep on rocking man.

  143. Pingback: Respect is a Two Way Street | The Single Parent Perspective

  144. well im 13 myself, i understand were you are coming from, my father would have gone as far as you did with ur daughters laptop, but yet again i would never have said that on facebook,dr. phill needs to understand and be open to other and even better ways to raise a good child for one, punishment is good for childreen and teenagers because it teaches them never to do it again, and learn from their mistakes…in other words what you did was correct :)

  145. I personally think that Dr. Phil tries to implant his ideas onto the entire nation so that we can all “think like him” and if he sees someone who doesn’t “think like him”, he tries to criticize you. He’ll even bring you to his show, JUST so that he can publicly give his thoughts and opinions – which will humiliate you – on television … for a profit. Pathetic.

    To Mr. Jordan, I want to thank you and my grandmother who has similar morals. If all parents were like you or had somewhat of a similar parenting style then maybe the world wouldn’t be so bad and America’s future leaders wouldn’t be as wild.

  146. I have never looked at the Dr. Phil show in this light before. You make perfect sense here. Sometimes its just gotta be put out there the way you just did it for people to see the truth. You are absolutely right. Good on ya for sharing.

  147. I remember those “thumps” on the head by my dad. I deserved them. I learned quickly what he wanted me to learn. If they were sweet and nice and tried to ‘talk’ to me, I would only think of ways to outsmart them so I could get out of it. Yep, it was those ‘thumps’ on the head and that spanking in the grocery store that taught me respect. If left on my own with ‘sweet’ parents, they wouldn’t have survived the 15 year old that can’t figure out consequences to her actions. By the way, maybe Dr. Phil is actually talking about someone that has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Those kids have a cause and effect problem because their frontal lobes are underdeveloped. I get it that probably most of his clients have a mother that drank during her pregnancy, but that isn’t called “normal.”

  148. Hi from Belgium.
    Very interesting reading your blog. Same problems in Belgium with the teenagers ofcourse and Dr. Phil is also popular in my country.
    I must say I totaly agree with you. You did a good job.

  149. Pingback: Dr. Phil and the New Age of Discipline - Everyone Has A Story

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  151. Ii am a dr. phil fan MOST of the time. In this case, however, I feel he is way off base. I won’t make any arguments against him though, because I think you covered it all. I say way to go Mr. Jordan, you are my hero!

    PS And not because I am living vicariously through you, but because I will parent the same way as my daughters grow up

  152. Dr. Phil makes perfect sense with his response, and yours didn’t quite hit the point. Truthfully I’m shocked at all the positive comments that you have received. But please understand that they admire only your intentions, but not your actions.

    Thank God you need a license to carry a gun. A license I don’t think you deserve, you shot a laptop. Your daughters laptop. Which you know very well, costs a lot of money. For what? To vent your anger? Irritate your daughter further? What do you gain out of that? What does anyone gain out of that?

    • Who are you to tell Mr. Jordan that I admire only his intentions, but not his actions. FYI I TOTALLY AGREE with his ACTIONS! WHAT degree do you hold to say he doesn’t deserve a license to carry a gun? Thank God for the NRA! Thank GOD you don’t make those decisions!
      WHO THE HELL are you to pass judgement on anyone AND put words in peoples mouths!
      WHO THE HELL made you Judge and Jury?
      You have a lot of gonads to come on here and correct, say that people mean this or that. You don’t have a clue what people mean and thank GOD you really don’t have a clue what I mean! People meant exactly what they said or they wouldn’t have said it! Do you have teenage children? Or even grown children? Do you have ESP that you can read minds? Do you live in the US? FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM of speech, Freedom to raise your children the way you see fit! Thank God you don’t make the rules or have ANY authority!

      • I am a 19 year old architecture student that unlike many people my age, give a damn about many things in this world. I am only trying to rephrase what Dr. Phil said about the reason behind the 73% of the vote, because I think he is absolutely spot on.

        If the majority of people thinks it is fine to punish anyone by destroying a laptop using a gun, then I find this world a frightening place to live in. It is an action that was spearheaded by emotions, a rash decision.

        I do not live in the U.S., certainly I’m not stopping anyone from shooting laptops. But we’re not talking if the law is broken, but whether it was the RIGHT THING TO DO.

        But why are the majority of Americans behind him on this, frankly is absolutely beyond me.

        • No, I am fairly certain you’re incorrect about the “rash decision”, Seng Kait. Mr. Jordan did NOT make a rash decision when he shot his daughter’s laptop. This was something he had verbally warned her with before if she did not quit doing something she had been asked to quit doing on Facebook. His daughter knew this was coming had she kept doing what she was doing. Did you watch the first or original You-Tube video?? If you had then you would know all the details and WHY Mr. Jordan did what he did.

          Look, I just don’t get why you seem to be so bothered by the whole shooting of the laptop thing anyway?! It happened on his property, and it’s not that big of a deal, really. Too much fuss about it. There is zero reason for you to feel the world is a frightening place to live in just because many, MANY parents gave Mr. Jordan positive comments and really appreciated what he did. Parents can appreciate his actions because he did what so many of us parents wish we had the gumption ourselves to do, meaning “say what we mean and mean what we say” when it comes to parenting our teenagers. Mr. Jordan is simply trying to raise his children right, wants them to be respectful, productive adults, learn the value of a dollar also hard work, and is not raising spoiled children. He’s a great dad who loves and cares deeply about his children and family. That is clear and obvious.

          So what if he shot his daughter’s laptop?? Who cares if he did it!! It’s not up to anyone to judge him for doing it or his parenting style either. The majority of Americans stand behind him because the majority are parents, who appreciate his firm stand he took, and the fact that he followed through. So many parents don’t follow through when they give their teenagers verbal warnings.
          When you get older, more mature, and start your own family then you’ll truly get it…

        • Ah. I understand. You are 19 and trying to rephrase Dr. Phil… those are two things that will muddle your argument, at least in this forum. It really does appear that you take issue with the shooting of a laptop. If I were Dr. Phil, I would assume you are for the freedom and fair treatment of laptops everywhere (probably don’t want to rephrase Dr. Phil if you are trying to make a coherent point), but more logically would be that you don’t like that he used a gun. You don’t like that he ever threatened to use a gun and then followed through. I get it. That’s your opinion. I don’t happen to agree, “…from my cold dead hands” comes to mind for me, but I understand your personal objection. It’s an ideological argument that has spawned great support or decent of Tommy Jordan, at least for those that choose to overlook the part where he is a parent deciding what works best for his own family.

          I think, and I might be wrong, but I think we can agree that having consequences is a good thing. I’m sure in another 15 or 20 years, if you decide to procreate, you will have consequences for your own children… whatever they are is up to you. The point is that you have them, otherwise, heaven help your children and heaven help the society that needs to share space with them. Until then, he’ll raise his children how he sees fit, I’ll raise my children how I see fit, and some day you’ll raise your children how you see fit. You don’t have to like it, but it’s the way it is. I, for one, can live with your disappointment.

        • Tommy Jordan gave his word that if the same thing happened again, he would shoot the laptop..and a man is only as good as his word! He did do the right thing! If you had a teenager, and told that teenager if he/she did the wrong thing again, then you’d take their TV out of their bedroom (ie), would you not go thru with the punishment if they messed up again after you told them what you’d do? If you didn’t, or wouldn’t, then you’re not a man as good as his own word…

    • I’ll speak for myself, thank you. I admire his intentions AND his actions. It appears, and I might be wrong, that you are more upset he used a gun than the lesson he was trying to teach his daughter. I could see where some might be completely confused by his actions, if their general belief as to why he did it was to vent or irritate his daughter. However, his intentions really couldn’t have been more solid, and it was neither of those reasons.

      I’m not at all perplexed about why so many people have posted positive comments. However, I don’t want to get all “Dr. Phil” on everyone and make generalizations about other parents, so I’ll speak for myself. I, for one, am pleased as punch to see a parent give a stiff consequence and then actually follow through. It’s like we’re in some parenting desert where a whole new generation of “I want it 5 minutes ago!” and “Let’s talk about your feelings” are everywhere we turn. I saw this and it was like a tall glass of iced water in the desert, only this time, it wasn’t a mirage, so we’re drinking it up and thrilled for the parent we wish more would be like. I might be so bold to go out on a limb and say others feel the way I do, but I could be wrong.

      All the people who can’t understand why this father would do what he did, because they are so tied up in a wad that he used a gun to do it, should go back and read all of his responses to the media. However, this time, do it with the end result of him tossing the computer in a pond, or better yet, giving it to charity. If you change the part where he uses a gun, maybe that will help you understand the “why” part that has you so baffled.

      If you think the “gun” part is too big to disregard, well, that’s a different bone to pick. I couldn’t care less if he used a hatchet, burned in the fire pit, or shot it with a gun… I’m glad he had a consequence and had the guts to followed through.

    • Seng Kiat, of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion, BUT I personally don’t find it appropriate for you to assume that you know why folks are leaving positive comments. How do you know that all the folks that gave Mr. Jordan positive feedback are ONLY admired with his intentions and not his actions?? I gave Mr. Jordan positive feedback more than once, you do not know me, please do not speak for me or presume to know what I am thinking. It is true that I admire Mr. Jordan. BUT, I admire him for his firm parenting, strong beliefs, his strong values, also his old school parenting style, many things he stands for, and admire him for so much more. Being a parent myself, there is an automatic common parental bond that I and so many, many other folks who commented positively share with Mr. Jordan and his wife. Because we all as parents can relate to Mr. Jordan and his wife in their current situation with their daughter. Mr. Jordan is to be admired AND commended for his actions. If “one” is not a parent, well, then “one” will just not get it or understand much of this situation. Just the way it is, you truly have to be a parent to get or grasp every aspect and angle of it.
      As far as Mr. Jordan owning/carrying a gun, quite frankly that is between him, the state he resides in, and his family. It’s also not up to anyone else to have an opinion on whether he “deserves” a license to own/carry a gun. No one but Mr. Jordan, his wife, his family, and the state he resides in can make that judgement call, period, end of story.
      Yes. He DID shoot his daughter’s laptop, true. However, HE bought that laptop for his daughter, HE spent the money on it, HE earned the money to buy that laptop, and HE is the IT professional in his family. As a parent, HE has the parental right to ground his child, make his child aware of things that are not okay, make good on his word when other verbal warnings had gone out in the past, and teach his child the value of cause/effect anyway he sees fit. Just because you personally don’t agree with his firm parenting style, does not make it wrong. Again, “one” must be a parent to be able to fully grasp and understand why Mr. Jordan did what he did and to be able to fully appreciate it. Just sayin’….

    • After reading through your comments and watching the good old Dr on video, I felt drawn to type in a rebuttal to this comment in particular. Dr Phil makes ‘perfect sense’, SERIOUSLY!?? The ‘quack’(in every sense of the word)has-been desperate for ratings since Oprah isn’t around anymore, makes perfect sense? Somebody has an IQ slightly lower than a door knob, I’m not gonna say who…try and make sense of that.

      Among the 1st thing that was out of his mouth was that the kid was foul-mouthed and tried to imply that she got it from her parents. I do not pretend to know the Jordans but from what I gathered after reading his blog post & watching a couple of his videos (I may be assuming here…) that this is a man that was brought up with good values and if he doesn’t tolerate that kind of behavior on FB I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t tolerate it at home either.

      Then he went on saying that Mr Jordan stoop to her level, that as a 15 year old she can’t really comprehend that what she did is a bad thing. She’s 15 for god’s sake not FIVE! She reaped what she sowed. She called her parent names, cussed and was being disrespectful to them on social media to her 400+ friends. Did he overreacted? He was hurt, any parent would be if their child whom they love unconditionally calls them ‘lovingly’ like that. He did say he intended to reach the same number of audience to teach her daughter a lesson, to tell her friends that think its cool, that liked her status about cussing and name-calling their parents that it is definitely not ok to do so. The fact that it went viral was never intended. And don’t get me started about “never ever humiliate your children” bit. He gets paid doing it to other people’s children on tvland.

      The quack then says you choose the behavior, you choose the consequence. Mr Jordan said he already warned his daughter that he is gonna shoot the laptop if this ever happen AGAIN. Meant this wasn’t the 1st incident (just trying to make it clear to you and get it through your thick skull). He didn’t say he’d donate the laptop to charity, he didn’t say he’ll introduce the laptop to Mr sledgehammer, nor did he say he’ll wipe the hd clean, run it over with the car, then set fire to it while dancing circles around it like a loon. NO, he said he’ll shoot it and that’s what he did. Maybe if he did it with a hammer or threw it into a lake it wont get as much attention as it did.

      Let say, if Mr Jordan confiscated it and many many weeks later after she is on her good behavior, won her daddy back and she gets back her laptop, she might think that her dad is a push-over and will let her get away with things. He’ll only talk the talk, that he wont follow through. Setting a good example aren’t we?

      And for assuming that over 100k people just because they are excited this fella got to do the things they always wanted to do…What the fIRETRuck is that? (pardon my french) The question was “was it appropriate punishment or was it abuse” either or. I don’t understand why he had to bring up the statistic about over 100 thousand kids are molested by their parents before they hit 18, talking about neglect, abandonment and abuse to strengthen his point. He is taking an active role in her life. Was it extreme? Yes. Was it abuse? NO. Was it good judgement? Yes and No. He did mull it over with the wife and decided to return the ‘kindness’, to teach her a lesson. But he never knew that it would go as viral as it did. Glad to see he and the family rolled with the punches well. Its a cautionary tale that shows on the internet there are no take back-sies.

      I’m an Asian 34 with my own business.I was caned on my shin once for coming back from school late way past dinnertime, got a tight slap if I disrespected my elders, caned on the palm of my hand if I didn’t do what I was supposed to do(homework mostly), left alone with a security guard in a mall bawling my eyes out for 20 mins once when I was little cos I threw a fit over an expensive toy that I wanted, was brought to face the owner of the stuff I stole to apologize(could have died from humiliation there cause I stole something from my cousin), had to earn my keep if I wanted what I wanted or was rewarded if I did well in school. But they sat me down after and told me why they did what they did. They were worried sick when I came back late because I didn’t even called home, that I couldn’t always get what I want, that they wanted to see me excel in school. In no way they are raising me up like a circus lion like you so eloquently put in your post below. They hear me, they talk to me, when they are wrong they’ll admit it, they keep me in line and for that I love them unconditionally.

      And about shooting the laptop, its HIS laptop to do with as he please. The laptop which HE PAID with his money to be used by his daughter, get it straight Ah Seng. Like I said before if he cuts it up into pieces blends it like the blender guy on youtube, or knock it to pieces with a hammer maybe it won’t gain this much publicity. It is what it is now and we get to take something from it, which I don’t think you could comprehend with your 19yo mind if Dr Phil has any say in it.

  153. I have a teen-aged daughter and i struggle with similar issues. She is an outstanding student, very talented, very smart…but she makes some of the dumbest decisions at times and i make sure she faces the consequences of her actions. If she acts dumb or disrespectful in public, then she is corrected in public…what better way for her to learn how to behave while out? Good job Mr. Jordan!

  154. As a mother of two daughters ages 27 and 24 with a daughter each of their own, they loved what you did. BECAUSE I would have done the SAME thing and they knew it! We obviously have the same upbringing, and parenting skills. OBVIOUSLY the Dr.Phil’s of the world have been wrong all these years on their thinking, and suggestions on how to disipline and raise children. Look at where we are with this generation of kids! Most of them are lazy, smart mouthed, uneducated and totally out of control. So obviously time-out didn’t work. I know what does work, and what worked for mine! A good spanking! My girls have great jobs because they have good work ethics and are polite, yes mam, no mam etc. Guess how they got that way! US, the parents who loved them, nurtured them and punished them. Even when they complained that their friends didnt have chores, they were quickly informed that they weren’t their friends. They were told that as long as you live under my roof you WILL follow my rules! Two quick stories, one you might show your wife as a way to get into your fifteen year olds head! My oldest was that age and had gotten a smart mouth with me. She was my size, so I guess she figured she could get away with it. NOT.. I threw her on the floor and jumped on top of her and told her to come on.. you want some of this.. you will never be too big for me to whip your butt! It startled her into reality.. Mama’s the BOSS! The youngest was standing there big eyed.. I asked her WHAT? She said they told her in school that I couldn’t do that and to call DHR if a parent touched them. I told her to hang on I would help her pack her bags because when she called DHR she was going with them. Needless to say I think that got their attention. We never had a problem with them like that again.
    The youngest brought home a boy I didn’t like and she knew I didn’t like him. So I got two of my 38′specials out and wrote his name on one. I gave him the other and told him to put it in his pocket and if he ever wanted to touch my daughter he could reach in there and rub on it. Because I have the other bullet, with your name on it and the gun that goes with it! lol He never came back! Fixed that problem.
    My girls are grown and married now, as I said 27 & 24. They each have baby girls and they are TOTALLY understanding what we did and saying they are going to do the same thing with theirs! I am so proud, they never came home drunk or pregnant! They were too scared to. I believe sometimes we have to put the fear of God in them. A little bit of a belt on their behinds never killed anyone. Keep on with your good parenting and don’t let some talking head change your beliefs or belittle your raising. When will people get it that the TIME OUT is NOT working! Get a grip people! We are in a world of hurt if this generation is left in charge! My parents generation was the most responsible, respectful, dependable there has ever been. So obviously their parents did something right! (used a switch or belt).
    I heard (Dr.) Phil isn’t really a doctor is that true? If so where does he get off giving advice anyway. And you are 100% correct that he takes families on National TV and embarasses them so what the heck is he talking about you for?

    • You’re not asking for my opinion, but I’m going to give it to you anyway.

      I really prefer not to be offensive, and I’m really sorry for this, but you ma’am, sound like a terrible mum.

      Good grades, good job, good pay, being obedient, being respectful. Is that really what’s most important to you? Or is it being able to THINK for yourself, standing up for what you believe in, and questioning when something is off?

      If you’re going to stand out in this world and be somebody, having the latter’s mindset is vital. Otherwise you’ll just be like everyone else. Fools who only do exactly what they are told.

      I believe the current generation was able to realise, that the latter was more important than the former. It’s about trying to get our kids to think for themselves, not getting them to obey to whatever. Your comment on the current generation being generally ‘lazy, smart mouthed, uneducated and totally out of control’ is a false stereotype. Sure they are the result of the lack of stricter parenting, but it doesn’t mean that ‘old fashioned’ parenting is the right way of parenting.

      And now on the subject of corporal punishment. I am completely against it. A little bit of background: I grew up with corporal punishment. Instead of getting it on our butts, we got it right on our palms here in Asia. The skin is thinner and it hurts more. I hope it doesn’t give you any ideas.

      It did put the fear of God in me. The result? I started doing my homework, I did chores, I did EXACTLY what I was told. But there lies the problem, I only did it just because I don’t what to be whipped.

      What is the point then? I didn’t do my homework to revise my syllabus, I didn’t do my chores knowing that it’s a role I have to play as a family member. No, I did all those solely because I don’t want the pain of the cane on my palm.

      What’s the difference between me and the circus lion then? In my opinion, parents who ‘do’ corporal punishment are just lazy to argue with their kids. Children should be able to argue with their parents, and parents are ALWAYS suppose to win the argument. But when parents cannot rationalise and win, they go straight to corporal punishment.

      And if your children is able to rationalise and win the argument against you, congratulations, your kid is able to think for himself.

      But why I said you sound like a terrible mum isn’t because you have an old fashioned way of parenting and use corporal punishment to your children. It’s because what you are doing goes beyond corporal punishment, it sounds like VIOLENCE. Hostile aggression fueled by emotions.

      And that, is crossing the line.

      • There’s more people in this world that disagree with you, than agree with you. The passive-aggressive approach to parenting that you think is better, does not work. You do not argue with your parents. You do what you are told. Its teaching you how to act once you’re an adult. You can disagree with your parents, you can try to talk something out with them but you do not argue with them.

        Also the stereotype of kids now days who are lazy and shiftless and who dont amount to anything is not false.

      • This is a comment to the Asian individual that was tramatized (really???)over palm beatings. I really can’t believe someone still goes against a swift kick in the tail. Are you serious??? Like it or not raising a kid is not that much different than raising an animal. If you as the parent are not known as the boss they will take over. Survival of the fittest, ever hear of it? Like it or not, we are animals ourselves and there is a “pecking” order. I know we don’t like to look at ourselves as mere animals because “we are more intelligent” than other animals. Wake up!!!! Look at the schools. They are horrific now that there is no punishment allowed. Are you really naive enough to think that kids will do what you want simply by asking them? If you are, go get fixed. You are the problem. The only recourse a school has is to kick a kid out of school. Really, kick a kid out that doesn’t want to be there in the first place. I am absolutely dumbfounded by that thought process. All you bleeding hearts out there are what is destroying our nation. We can’t win a war because we have to fight “fair”. We can’t raise our kids right because it is wrong to spank. Give me a break. Grow a set and quit crying!!!!

        I applaud Mr. Jordan Sir! You did nothing wrong and keep fighting the good fight. Along with all this technology out there comes great responsibility. Or, I suppose we can continue to allow bullying to be way out of control and teenagers to mouth off about everything. Come on, it doesn’t take the sense God gave cabbage to see what is the right way to do things. The problem is every parent needs to be this way. The court system needs to quit allowing divorces because one person just doesn’t want to be married anymore (especially when kids are involved). The list goes on and on. It all boils down to common sense. Unfortunately most of the people out there have none. Now, was it right to shoot the laptop? Wait, was I there? Were you there? Did we see all that led up to it? NO so shut up! I assure you all that his daughter knows he isn’t playing around. Do your kids?

        • One other note about corporal punishment. Do you believe in God? If so then you believe in heaven and hell. Hmmm, wouldn’t hell be considered corporal punishment? That is coming from God. While on the subject of religion, look at this for a minute. I am a believer but wasn’t raised to be so I have looked at all sides of the subject. One of the biggest arguements against a “God” is that the human race has to have something to believe in or it would be chaos. That being the reason for God. There would be nothing to support the theory of right and wrong without a “God”. In other words there would be no incintive to do what is right. If you don’t think the world would be chaos without a “God” to believe in I can’t help you and nobody can. The point is this. If God must use corporal punishment on the human race then doesn’t it make sense that we incorporate the same thing? Just look at our prison systems. The so called rehab doesn’t work. Prisoners have rights (don’t even get me started on that, try to tell the devil souls in hell have rights). Prison is a better place for most of these people than their alternatives. So guess what, they go back when let out. Wouldn’t it make more sense to make it a place nobody would ever want to go to? Also, if those peoples parents would have done their jobs properly (in most cases) they wouldn’t be there to begin with. Now I am not saying beat your kids for everything nor should you. But, there is a time and place for what is now considered extreme punishment.

          As for the so called Dr Phil. Sir, you are a hypocrite. When I first watched you on tv it seemed you were doing something good. You were calling these parents out that were allowing their kids to rule their lives. But now you say you cant actually do anything about it. Yes, I said that. Your so called methods do not work! It is apparent you didn’t do a perfect job at parenting so what gives you the right to tell Mr. Jordan he is wrong? That is what I feel is wrong with your field of education. It is mostly opinion and in most cases people in your position push for what is proven to be the wrong approach. Sir, your reputation is going way down. You may not see it yet but mark my words it is happening. You argue corporal punishment just as gun control nuts argue against concealed carry. Both things can be proven wrong over and over again yet you keep argueing. Why is that? I think you are all power hungry individuals and can’t stand freedom. How does that make you feel?

          This is a subject that I feel very strongly about. There might be more to come but that is all for now.

  155. I didn’t find it amusing

    two suggestions: pay for chores deduct rent/brd etc
    instead of damaging laptop–donate to a needed appreciatative child

    These children are spoiled and think the world owes them
    So what if she has resentment Dr. Phil—

    However too many parents give children what they want, bail them out of situation at age early as 2yrs old then try to discipline them at 12-15 etc basically too late. Dr. Phil don’t suggest the reason the people voted the way did.

    I believe you believe in public humiliation re: signs community work publically for criminal offenses, didn’t you have a show on that

    Also Dr. Phil at times you are hypocritical what about that spoiled, disrespectful child and then adult Alexandria , how many times did you wash your hands of her in public yet to turn around and do the opposite

  156. Very interesting. I don’t know if you know this but Dr. Phil gave up his license to practice psychology back in 2006. He refers to his show as “entertainment” so he doesn’t get sued for practising psychology without a license.

    Oh and he raised some fine young men himself who are seen chasing around porn stars and and another son got fired from a recording studio for skeezing on all the female clients.

    I wouldn’t pay much attention to the words from someone who profits on other people’s misery.

  157. Naw, you’re good. Consider the source, carefully. Talk shows. Glorified gossip columns in video format. Hollywood entertainment industry. 8 minutes of whatever/whomever is red-hot-on-fire drawing attention in social network media. Mr. McGraw is not a practicing credentialed clinician. He’s a reality show “guru” that hangs out with Jay Leno and Oprah.

    You have it together just fine. You’ve done her a favor, as well as her friends – even if they don’t think so right now. They’ll never forget it. This moment appropriately shakes their unflappable arrogance and pervasive sense of entitlement.
    We all make jokes and roll our eyes about our very nice, talented teenagers and young adults that we love deeply. But it’s not funny. And it’s really not a joke when we express frustration and not being able to break through their selfishness and self-centered garbage.

  158. Dr. phil is way to critical he thinks that he is the perfect person and that if people dont take his advice and do what he sais a parrent is susposto do that it is wrong. I liked watchen dr phil and taught some of his episodes were pretty intersting but after i watched him in that video i have absloutley no respect for him any more. I am 16 and if i ever posted that about my parrents my laptop would be goen to. probally skiped acroos the pond. Dr phil said that the dad lowed him self to hannas level. well by dr phil getting involved in it and making comments about how you(tommy) did the wrong thing and are a bad parent he lowed him self to.
    Now he wants you on his show ? thats rediculas i agree with ur video dr phil is being a hipicroit.

    If you agree or dissagree with what i put in my comment please email me about it.
    mitch_himes@hotmail.ca

  159. Speak your mind regardless of how ignorant Dr. Phil’s fans are, Dr. Phil included. You did what you thought was right, and as a parent, that’s your right. Would I do the same thing? Absolutely not. But I’m not her parent and you need to do whatever you believe is best for her!

  160. Logic is a beautiful thing. Yes, he makes a living bringing families on his show to air out their dirty laundry and so he can go off on them…the children included. Give me a break, already. Sheesh.

  161. Pingback: Facebook Parenting: Dr. Phil Response « Let's Talk About It.

    • Actually not at all. Either you don’t bother to read, or you just dislike me in general, which is perfectly OK.

      I’m deleting anything that’s obviously generated from a spam-bot.
      I’m deleting anything that uses vulgarity (when I catch it).
      And I’m deleting things that are obviously an attempt to just stir up controversy.

      At the end of the day.. it’s my web site. Your freedom of speech doesn’t apply here. If you’d prefer to go jump up and down and scream about how evil I am, go join one of the “Tommy Jordan is the Anti-Christ” Facebook groups and shout there where everyone can see it and where I have no control (read as “care”) what’s said there.

      Otherwise, try to actually use the “shift” key on your keyboard. SCREAMING JUST IRKS PEOPLE…

  162. I do watch Dr.Phil when he is talking about something that interests me.. and sometimes I have found his advise useful but at the same time I would like to say that I was spanked as a kid (more than a few times) but I always deserved it and learnt from whatever mistake I made. When I was 7 years old I stole a stamp from a newsagents store, my mum found it in my bag and made me walk back into the store by myself, go up to the counter and return the stamp and apologize for what I had done, I was embarrassed but I never ever stole anything again. Again I liked to point out at that time I was SEVEN years old and I knew what I was doing was wrong and I also learnt from my public return of the stamp. I do not feel scarred by what my parents did. If I screamed and cried in public dad would smack my backside and tell me to stop it, if I didnt I missed out on something that my other sisters got to enjoy. its just the way it went. Everybody has what works for them, if talking calmly doesnt work you will find something else that does.

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  164. who really watches dr. phil, his show is the most idiotic thing on television. The kids he bring on is nothing compare to this guy’s daughter. How can you compare apples to melons…….
    Dr. Phil is just a old guy who make up crap so he get a paycheck every week. Its his job, we don’t have to respect or approve of it.

  165. Mr Jordan;

    Very well done. Phil needed to feel the heat from this. In case anyone is wondering, Dr. Phil started on TV with Oprah Winfries help after his testifying on her behalf in a Texas court of law regrading the long forgotten feud she brewed up with Texas ranchers concerning her 1996 broadcast “Dangerous Food”….referring to the outbreak of “Hoof and Mouth” in Great Britain earlier. The result of that broadcast was, the US cattle market took one hell of a nasty plunge because of it.

    Case Law lists that lawsuit Here

    She was sued under Texas Statutes for under the False Disparagement of Perishable Food Products Act. See Texas Beef Group, 11 F.Supp.2d at 862-63. that was started in Amarillo District Court.

    “Under the Act, a person may be held liable for damages sustained by the producer of a perishable food product if that person knowingly disseminates false information to the public stating or implying that the producer’s product is not safe for public consumption.   See Tex. Civ. Prac. & Rem. § 96.002. A “perishable food product” is defined by the Act as “a food product of agriculture or aquaculture that is sold or distributed in a form that will perish or decay beyond marketability within a limited period of time.”   Tex. Civ. Prac. & Rem. § 96.001. When considering the falsity of the disseminated information, the trier of fact is instructed to determine “whether the information was based on reasonable and reliable scientific inquiry, facts, or data.”   Tex. Civ. Prac. & Rem. § 96.003. This litigation represents one of the first applications of the Act. At trial, the parties disputed whether appellants’ live cattle are a “perishable food product” protected under the Act and whether, in any event, the appellees knowingly disseminated false information about live cattle.   Although the district court found that, on the facts before it, the fed cattle did not “decay beyond marketability” and thus did not fall within the statute’s coverage, we do not reach that issue here.   The court alternatively held that the appellees did not knowingly disseminate false information about beef.   We turn to that issue.11″

    Phil’s “expert testimony” was lengthy and as accurately as I am able to recall, it certainly helped to prop up her side of that case. Sorry for the posting and hypertext link. Hope it will provide a little more insight in to Doc McGraw’s “humble” beginnings….

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  168. Thank you Mr Jordan for saying and doing what so many of us have wanted to say or do. Was this embarrassing to Hannah, of course. Did it damage her irreparably, heaven’s no! Will she think twice before she pulls something like this again, one would think so. You are obviously a good, caring parent and I say that Hannah is lucky to have a Dad like you.

    By the way, I was raised the “old fashioned way” also and raised my children that way also. I am in fear of what most of these “children” growing up now will be like as adults.

    Thank you Sir.

  169. Dr. Phil is a serious joke. I have zero respect for him. I do agree with you pointing out that he uses people and their problems for his profit.
    Keep up the good work your children will be decent adults in the end.

  170. I just wanted to say I completely agree with you. I am also in “my young 30′s” And my Daddy would have tore my butt up if I would have disrespected him. If I had ever talked back to him or cussed or called him names I would STILL be picking up my teeth, LOL. I was not hurt my my dad, I learned right from wrong and I learned to respect and do what I was told to do. I learned to be responsible and I thank God I had somebody willing to take the time to teach me to be successful in life. I commend you and I admire you, if you ever ran for president you have my vote. :-)

  171. Hello, I’m Lee, which should be clear, and I’m 16 years old.

    Honestly, I agree with everything Tommy Jordan has done. I’ve had a debate or two about it with a few of my teachers, who also agree with Mr. Jordan.

    I believe my parents have been doing a fairly good job with me, I earn my own things, and have no problems with doing chores around my house. After all, I am getting all this for free, why should I have a problem with helping my parents around the house?

    I plan on joining the Military, and joining the FBI afterword, I want to be able to lead a life without financial worry and I should have any children, provide for them as well. i feel some of the stuff I have been reading about Mr. Jordan, will help me best teach my children, again, if I choose to have any.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say kudos to you, and what I have read sop far has been a huge learning experience for me.

  172. Mr. Jordan , Ive been driving a school bus for 16 years straight. I can tell you that parenting stopped for the most part many years ago, Or at least effective parenting anyway. Responsibility, respect, caring, honor, truth, sharing, I could go on. This great nation that we live in is in trouble more than we know. Children are not held responsible for there actions. Parents and school officials make excuses for why children act out. These children are who we have to run our nation. I cringe while I think about this. Children today rely on X-Box, Playstation, Computer , Ipod Touch. Kids today have relationships on line. What happened when getting home from school and old fashioned playing outside with friends. Looking at your friends in the eye, Realizing how you hurt someome , having feelings and learning to respect others.I was raised by my grandparents, old style .As they say, I am too strict, although Im told how respectful my children are. My son is learning disabled, the teacher states she would rather have a class of my sons rather than the brightest who are so nasty, disrespectful, and just dont care ,but for themselves. Its a shame for the parents that want to parent , and are scared to parent. School officials sometimes over step and tell children to call CPS if they feel they are not being treated right , these same children taunt there parents with the threat of a phone call. I gave my daughter the phone , and told her go ahead, see if foster parents will love you like I do ! See if the other foster kids will love you like your brother and sister do ! Since then she has had made an about face years ago. I was lucky I guess. I have 3 children. Not children any longer. They are 18,20 and 23…Parenting never stops. Now we give advice. Its still a full time job that I will love to the day I die. If people cant or wont parent, they shouldnt have children.
    I respect you for parenting. When we became parents , no one gave us a manual . All we can do is the best we can do. I love to here about other parents experiences. We as parents learn every day, Just as our kids do. Again Thank You Sir, for showing me I am not alone !
    Go Parents !

  173. Not having yet read every comment here, I’m wondering if I’m the first to notice that black statue of what appears to be a man’s ass just behind and to the right of the esteemed doctor Phil’s head?
    Quite the appropriate prop to compliment his pompous and lacking opinion!

  174. MR. JORDAN reminds me ALOT of my dad….he has now become my idel….and all i can say ( as a parent myself )… TOUGH LOVE….my dad did it to me and im doing it my kids….i turned out just fine…never touched drugs, alcohol, or even smoked a cigarette….and all throughout school i was a straight a student….I was never abused in any which way and either are my kids…kids need to learn how there are consequences to their action…well she got hers….THANK YOU MR. JORDAN….THANK YOU

  175. I agree with everything you say, and respect you for raising your children the RIGHT WAY; not this passive-aggressive pansy way that results in useless individuals who think its the government’s job to take care of them.

    If I ever have kids, I am most certainly going to be raising them the way my mother and grandparents raised me.

  176. The stuff he [Dr.Phil] covers anymore seems to be going down the road of all other former (now washed-up) talk show hosts. He seems to be chasing ratings, himself. The more dramatic,shocking, and tongue-in-cheek topics are what is being covered, more and more. The more taboo they are the better! Honestly, he wants to run-down a man who simply shot his daughters laptop, and then “calls him out” for humiliating his daughter in public. But he has no problem completely humiliating and tearing apart kids who have some major issues, on his show? There are a number of issues he has covered on his show that I won’t go into now, but anyone who has seen his show knows all to well. To me, that will make him very much a hypocrite. Yet, he wants to run-down a Father who was teaching his Daughter a lesson about life? Dr. Phil publicly embarrasses people on TV, and makes a profit off of it! His argument could simply be– “well they request to be on my show”. Right, they choose to publicly take care of personal issues, much like Tom did, and your point is Dr. Phil??? The problem with people anymore is this “political correctness” movement and the whole “every kid deserves a trophy for effort” hogwash (don’t get me wrong, I am not against praising a child for a good effort). But, where do they think this “deserving” generation has come from? They have been cradled and swaddled from the cold hard facts of life, and now they can’t understand why grown-up life isn’t fair!! I deal with these nincompoops on a daily basis, and I get tired of hearing, that because they swept their small work-area yesterday they shouldn’t have to do it again today!! I was raised much like Tom is raising his Daughter, and I can handle when something works out for someone else and not for me!!! I have figured out that the world does NOT revolve around me, and I’m in my right mind to be okay with it. The world does not owe me anything, nor do I expect it to!! I know all too well that I am, but a small fish in a very big, self-righteous pond and no one cares what you need, did, have, or what your issues are. These kids who grew up with this “new way of raising” are having meltdowns, insecurity issues, and are quite frankly going into shock over the fact that no one is about to drop what they’re doing to run to their beck-and-call! I thank you, Tom! Thank you for HOPEFULLY opening the door for parents to start stepping forward and saying “this cushy parenting, has got to stop”!! I think it’s time to start lighting fires underneath our children, and maybe some things will start going back to the way they should be! Also, one last thing, very good point in something you said: if the country deems a 15/16 year old responsible enough to operate a motor vehicle (aka something that could very easily become a deadly weapon), then I find them old enough to take responsibility for their actions, and intelligent enough to know right from wrong! I can assure you, I sure as heck did and if I didn’t, by time my parents were done with me I did and I understood clearly! It’s not the generation that is defunct, it was the way they were raised.

  177. I’m 23 yrs old and have a 2yr old daughter. Her father and I agree 100% of raising our children the “old fashioned” way. I believe my grandparents generation and the generations before them were best at “parenting”. I feel that all Dr. Phil is doing here is “feeding” the teenage mind with bs, letting them think their parents are wrong and thats makes them rebel even more because “Dr. Phil said so”. Another problem nowadays is that children are growing up with less imagination and family time. What I mean by this is that kids of all ages have tv, laptops, hand held devices, etc. When I was growing up, from around 7am to lunch and again from lunch till around 6-7pm when it got dark, I was outside playing expanding my imagination, helping mom in the garden, helping dad with the horses, mowing grass, etc. I had chores that had to be done and my children are and will be raised the exact same way. I may have “hated” my parents then ,because I didn’t understand, but now I respect them for teaching me respect. Dr. Phil is crazy if he thinks he’s “helping” our next generation. One last thing, spanking is not “abuse”. I laugh at anyone who thinks setting there kid in “timeout” is gonna do anything! You’re an awesome Tommy! Two thumbs up for sure!

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  179. Thank you Mr. Jordan,
    I want to personally tell you that what you did with shooting your daughters laptop was just fine in my book. And to call her out in front of the masses was justifiable as well. She did it with her comments on FB. Fair is Fair. As for Dr. Phil and his “professional opinion”, Props for you calling him out!! You are right as far as him making a profit on what he preaches. I was once of the many that was raised as you were, and yes we learned “respect” quickly in our house. And we survived. I have two grown children and good lord if you dare ever spanked them, you would go to jail. I think it is wrong that you cannot punish your child for fear of going to jail. Does this way of raising your children help, no they think they can get away with most of anything. And they did not learn respect like we did. It’s a shame. Thank you for having the guts to do what you did. Have a great day Sir!!

  180. I just think This guy is Sexy HOT! =) Keep doing what you are doing!!!! Dr.Phil is just making money doing the same thing! He just wanted more profit because he saw how many hits you received on the video! He still wins…..his show took a dive until you brought him back up in the light! The way I see it Dr.Phil owes you some money! =)

  181. Hey Tommy forget dr.phil he is nothing I also wanted to say I would do what you did in a heartbeat good job that is the way teen’s need to be dealt with these days as a father raised the old fashioned way shooting a computer is better than a boot in the a$$

  182. I think that we are in trouble because of the way children are raised now. Parents need to step up! kudos to you for doing so, and hopefully parents will learn from this and do the same. Kids today are rude, disrespectful, ignorant, ungrateful, and could really use some of those “old fashioned” parenting techniques to put them straight!

  183. Mr. Jones, as I watched to the video (just today) and felt the mix of emotions you couldn’t prevent your voice from conveying, I could feel myself standing in your shoes.
    As far back as I know, all my family have always valued the same way of raising and educating a kid as the one you stand up for.
    Here in Brazil some law makers are trying to pass a law that equals parents who give a slap on the kid’s rear to a child abuser; if that law passes, several parents who are trying to leave better children to the world could end up locked in jail among true criminals. The vast majority of the people don’t even question whether the goverment should be nosing so deep into people’s lives, they’re sheepishly getting ready to conform with the law, when and if it really becomes a law.
    Now as for your response to Dr. Phil, it was just perfect: it’s obvious you did an extensive and careful research before answering (something he apparently didn’t bother to do), and you did it in a manner that Dr. Phil’s limbs got cut by his own strikes of the sword. That was fantastic, and so is the way you have being handling the media in general.
    Best luck for you and your family, I hope soon the media will leave you all in peace again. But you can’t deny it, what an experience it turned out to be !

  184. I am 20 years old and I was brought up with respect your elders adults were always Mr. miss Mrs. if you had to get a strangers attention it was ma’am or sir. You hold the door for the elderly and you thank someone if they hold the door for you. You don’t moth back and you do your best in school. You don’t say something about someone unless you can say it to their face and even then it had better not be disrespectful. I’m not perfect by any means but I know I was raised right and when I choose to have kids those are the rules I’m going to use and I don’t care if Dr. Phil is going to tell me I’m wrong. He is entitled to his opinion and in the same respect so am I

  185. I like the helpful info you provide in your articles. I will bookmark your blog and take a look at again right here regularly. I am fairly sure I’ll learn a lot of new stuff right here! Good luck for the following!

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  187. I would just like to say that I think you handled your situation with your daughter better than most would have done. I don’t know that I would have thought of putting a bullet thru the laptop, but kuddos to you for doing so. I personally think that kids now a days are way out of control and have no respect for themselves or anyone else for that matter. Really sad when you could get in major trouble for spanking your child when they need it. You are obviously a caring Father and she just needs to learn that. Thank you for your courage to post a video so others like me can see that we as a group of parents do actually think alike when it comes to raising our children. Amen!

  188. Some food for thought:
    I would like to argue about one point that is continually being repeated on this blog that I disagree with. First, some background is important. I have taught in public schools, lower elementary, since 1985. (few years off to raise kids). Title 1 schools (ie: high poverty, lower levels of education in parents)
    The comments I take issue with are those that generalize about how kids today are so much more disrespectful, ill mannered, etc. I still see the same balance of well-behaved vs poorly raised that I did years ago! In every group, rural/suburban/urban, there will always be a few who desperately need a Tommy Jordan in their lives. But the other 20 or so are being raised to be polite, respectful, and to take advantage of their educational opportunities. Reminder: I have almost always taught in high poverty schools. I think that may be why you see 73% agreeing with you. Most parents really do want to raise their children to be respectful, strong adults, no matter their background. One problem I do consistently work with is when talking with the parents of the “problem students” each year, I often find that they have bought into the pop psychobabble of being afraid to punish their children for fear of hurting their self-esteem! Prisons are loaded with people with HIGH self-esteem, not low!
    I don’t have a facebook page(too dangerous for teachers!) but I plan to direct some of my parents to this page. Your strong stand against your child’s misbehavior and insistence on her towing the line is something certain parents of mine need to see.

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  194. I was working as a nanny for the past over a decade. My previous job included everything raising the kids as they were my own. To cut the story short, I did spank the children rarely but as it was necessary. They grew up to be respectful and excellent in all of their studies; furthermore, they enjoyed learning the piano from me. Sometimes I even noticed my accent in their English. The children also inherited my love for books and curiosity toward sciences. In the restaurant people were coming to our table inquiring how is it possible that my kids were sitting at the table calmly. After school the entire neighborhood was loud with parents screaming at their kids to do their homework. First thing my kids did after getting off the bus is starting their homework without me even being around. I am so very proud of them. Now I am a Columbia University student, have two additional degrees in business and one from a music conservatory, and have my own financial corporation. I am still thinking of my babies often. I did my job as it was asked of me so many years ago. I raised the children with much love and discipline for the satisfaction of all involved.

  195. Mr. Jordan, well done sir. I was raised a similar way. Delt with appropriate punishment and abuse. What you did, sir, was not only appropriate, but necessary. Teens today don’t understand what it’s like to work for a buck and then that buck have to go to someone else because those are called bills. I applaud you and you parenting.
    Dr. Phil, I have watched your show off and on for as long as I can remember, once upon a time you helped me deal ith some difficulty in my own life, but until you are this man, raising his child, you have no say in how he chooses to dispose of property he paid for, or how he non-abusively punishes his children. God bless you both. I hope she handles this well.

  196. I am in complete support of what this father did. His daughter was priviledged to have a laptop that he worked hard to buy her and pay for the internet service as well. She is also priviledged to have a cell phone and an IPod that I assume he also pays for. These are not a “right to have” things. This father had a right to take them away how he saw fit. His daughter knew what she did was wrong or she would not have blocked anyone from reading her letter except her peers she felt she could impress by “dissing or putting her parents down”. So same parents took control of the situation to teach her a valuable lesson, and one I hope she is learning. One of appreciation, thankkfulness and respect for people period! She will be the better person and adult because of this mans courage to do the right thing! many, many kudos to you sir and your wife who supports you in rasing and disciplining your children whom you love!

    • It’s a theme called Weaver Pro. You have to buy it, but it’s incredibly robust. I wouldn’t consider it unless you REALLY had the time to spend getting to know it. It basically gives WordPress the malleability of Joomla. First time I’ve used it and I haven’t tapped half the potential the theme is capable of.

  197. Tremendous piece you have prepared here! The internet is awash of horrid penning and I was grabbed by your pellucidity. Your conclusions are dead-on and I will immediately subscribe to your rss feed to stay up to date with your up forthcoming postings. Yes! I acknowledge it, your composition style is great and i will now work harder on improving mine.

      • and I’ll admit it..Tommy you sparked my curiosity of the word pellucidity…I’m a North Carolina girl here..born & raised in Wadesboro! So, that should tell you, I don’t know all of these fancy words….LOL!! Now, it’s “pellucidity”..”clear”, “clearness”..now I’m roflmboooo! Thanks, needed that!!

  198. By reading and following all what you have done to discipline your daughter, it now changed completely my way of thinking about an American family that i have got by watching too many Hollywood movies that Parents do not have controls over their children and their children do anything that they want to do like they can use impolite language against their parents and Parents cannot do anything about it.

    I was wrong and now i can think that overseas are living great families.

    Thanks, Sir.

    FKhyber/ Afghanistan.

  199. I was suggested this web site by way of my cousin. I am now not positive whether or not this publish is written by way of him as no one else understand such certain about my difficulty. You’re incredible! Thank you!

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  201. Tommy Jordan is the most horrible parent I have ever seen. Dr. Phil is 100% right about this guy hes just plane no good. Not only that he used that video to make money off all of you can you people not see that. He is a hateful subhuman Disgusting Father. You may fool some people Tommy but not me.

    • First: The word you’re looking for is “plain” not “plane”
      Second: Simply tossing capitalization in the middle of a sentence is the way a third grader emphasizes text.
      Third: You need a lesson in comma and apostrophe usage.

      I might be a bad father (in your opinion) but my kids can structure a sentence; something you apparently cannot.

      • Not all people who read and post comments speak as good English as you do, Mr. Jordan, I don’t think the point in posting comments on the internet is to structure and post the best written comment, it’s about commenting the subject. Gary’s English isn’t important.

        Anyway, with all respect, I kind of agrees with Gary’s comment, but I would never put it the same way as he did. Just because I think your ways of parenting (I don’t know if that’s correct English, you’ll have to excuse me…) are wrong, I don’t have the rights of calling you a “hateful subhuman Disgusting Father”. And I don’t think you are either, not at all.. I just don’t believe the way you responded to your daughter’s behavior was right, in the same way as I don’t believe in spanking or grounding children for a longer time than a couple of weeks (I don’t know if you agree with me on this one or if you think spanking your kids is a good way to make them behave). But that’s just the way I’m raised. I am seventeen years old and have never been spanked or humiliated in public by my parents in my whole life, but I would never ever post anything disrespectful on Facebook about my parents either. I am not from America, I’m from Sweden, and where I’m from I have never heard about anything like this. (That doesn’t mean the same things don’t happen over there, I’m sure they do) All of my friends there have more respect for their parents than my friends here, who I’ve met during my year as an exchange student, but none of my friends in Sweden has ever experienced being spanked or grounded by their parents.

        There are a million different ways of parenting, and it’s just one of all those subjects where we will never all agree on the same thing. I have made a promise to myself though, I will never spank or try to humiliate my (future) children in public, I don’t believe being as childish and naive as the kids who don’t behave is a good way of making them listen and behave.

        Please excuse my English, it’s not very good, I know, but it’s not my native language.

      • You need a “like” button of some sort on here. LMAO!! One of my biggest pet peeves is that some people made it out of middle school with this lack of skills.

  202. Im a 22 year old male and to be honest with you I’m a little worried with where our country is going to be when my generation is leading it. We are basically unmothered and unfathered and have been drilled in us that we came from animals and whatever feels good just do it. That we have no destiny or point on this earth because we are just an evolved animal and then we die. If thats true whats the point to honoring people and living a moral life. Due to the lack of fathers and mothers that teach morals and consequences the government has been stepping way too far in the area of raising the generation and they have their own motives. Not only is my generation wanting older ones we can respect and look up to we are hungry for it. We need healthy homes and relationships to look up to. I remember stealing from Macy’s when I was 15, my father who is 60 now, found out about it and after the 3rd time of lying to his face he smacked me in the mouth. As soon as that happened I told him the truth. He took me straight to Macys with a fat lip had me pay double it was worth and apologize to the people that worked there and the security. some people would say that is child abuse, but I will never forget it because it made me respect my father way more than I had in the past. Not only did I realize he loved me but he was trying to instill character in me. Tommy commented about 50 and 60 year olds not needing to show up to the Dr. Phil Show as much as younger and I agree, the 50 and 60 year olds where raised differently, I mean shoot they even had the ten commandments in their classrooms now my generation has nothing, so if we arent allowed to be taught morals in school because it might be “religious” and our fathers and mothers arent teaching us. What the hell do you expect to have happen. Shoot if the old way of raising children has worked for so many centuries how ignorant of us to try to think we know better.

  203. I really like all of your videos, and the way you express the proper parenting we all grew up with. My mom was a Texas Department Of Justice Employee. ( Prison Guard) There was no getting anything past her! She raised us to use proper manners, address our elders respectfully and to always remember that just because we thought we could didn’t mean we should.
    I remember one time when I was about 16 and thought I could sneak out of the house…. she waited for me to come rolling up on my boyfriends bike and calmly stepped out while cleaning her gun. She eyed me over the top of railing on the porch, and smiled saying” I think it is way past time to say goodnight to your young man… and then we have some discussing proper behavior for a young lady.” She nailed my windows shut the next day and confiscated all of my modes of communication. She also took my bedroom door ( since I slammed it ) and the bathroom door… issuing me a sheet to hang over the door frames.
    I learned real quick… never mess with the parental unit when they are serious.
    I am now teaching these same things to my five children, two of which are teenagers. My fifteen year old daughter has not so fondly referred to me a robomom. I see all… know all… and will deal with all when they least expect it. I also will not ever fail to find things out they wish I hadn’t and will usually handle it….creatively. Creative parenting… is key with kids these days with all the areas influences can arise. I have taken my daughters bedroom from her when she snuck out to be with her boyfriend… she slept on a cot in my room for about a week… and never has done the sneaking thing again. I also have had their facebook passwords given to me at all times… and should the moment arise they … misbehave… I will shut them down by changing their passwords and forgetting to tell them the password. I have their statuses fowarded to my cellphone as well as any text messages they receive… so I can monitor who and what they are talking about…. usually now days my children keep no secrets. I am strict because I have had my eldest meet up with a grown man thinking he was a teen boy… and had I not been vigilante the issue would have been far worse. Instead… the man got the surprise of a lifetime when robomom rolled up with an attitude! Lets just say he will never again even whisper in any of my kids direction.
    As far as Dr. Phil…. well he is raising his kids differently… and I don’t begrudge him that… but parents like me… well we know who our kids interact with, what they are doing and are teaching them to follow the law… for one of my favorite things to say to my kids is… if you can’t follow my laws what makes me think you can follow the others when your an adult. And I raise my kids to know that if Mama ain’t happy… well…. you won’t be either. Kids become who they see you are and they learn what you teach…. if you aren’t willing to put the work in to make them decent hard working members of society than quit whining about the prison systems over crowding, the lazy disrespectful kids and adults in our society who live off the goverment, and all the many people who are not contributing members of society. The parents are where it all starts!
    Signed
    Just a mom

  204. I am an 18 year old college student and agree totally with what you did. I was raised in a household where if I did something like post that to Facebook then my dad would have done the exact same thing to me. He enforced consequences for actions and stuck to them. As a result I am an Eagle Scout and member of Order of the Arrow and work in a financial office at 18 years of age while going to school, So I think I turned out pretty well. He taught me by example that in life things we do have consequences whether good or bad. This also taught me that life is not a game and if one wants something they have to work hard to get it.

  205. I totally agree with your parenting. I know it was a very difficult thing to do but what else is there to do in this day and time, of the computer world. We have had similar problems here with my grand kids. So far just taken computers, phones away for awhile. The kids today need to learn some discipline and respect. Your video was shown to all four of my grand children, aging 9, 12, 14, 16. They completely understand where you were coming from and agree with what you did, you said you were going to do it and you had to keep your word. I think this has helped here with them. We are constantly monitoring where they go, who they are with, whom they talk to on line and where they go on line. It has been a rough road. This new world of electronics is sometimes quite disturbing. There is a hesitancy of allowing the 12 year old on Facebook when he turns 13, he is ADHD and very misunderstood at school. He is constantly bullied and I am afraid it will happen on Facebook if he is allowed on. But bottom line, some still believe in Dr. Spock raising and that is why we have the generation that we have. I did not believe in Dr. Spock, I took my lessons of raising my children on how I was raised and with the guidance of Jesus, (God) and church upbringing, especially the ten commandments. I would not worry about Dr. Phil or anyone else for that matter. Is all of this raising that the way they want us to raise kids today the right way. Look at all of the children committing sucide. The shooting in all of the schools. Children are not taught at a young age anymore the meaning of respect. I find most are very rude to the adult population and to their peers.

    Anyway, it is possible you may never read this but wanted to let you know you have my respect and total understanding. Signed Darline

  206. Does your daughter have any clue what so ever how intelligent her father is? You took one video and have made you and your daughter the most famous daughter and father and by doing this if you wanted to accept the offers, can be one of the riches father and daughter combo .There was an indication your daughter laughed this off. I dont like the though she could very well make money from her behavior. I wonder what Dr Phil thinks about that. I am not against Dr Phil. he ha helped me in several situations just by listening to his advice to many families. You speak with love and firmness in your voice. Lots of fathers would have abused their daughter for what your daughter did. Whatever happens and whatever you decide to do as far as if you make any money for you and your daughter, I wish you all the peace and love there is in your relationship with your daughter.

  207. Sorry to say but mostly, a 15 years old lady in my native country (Ecuador) is generally way more respectful with her parents that many young ladies here in the USA. What Mr. Jordan did is nothing else that what I know as “good parenting”. This Dr. Phil does not know what he is talking about …

  208. I approve 100% what Mr. Jordan did, what he did and how he did in every aspect of it (including the posting of the video on the internet). This is what I call “good parenting” . . .

  209. I’m 60 friggin years old, raised two daughters . . one just turned 40 and the other about 36. You have my respect big time! I just got trashed by my oldest on facebook (I gave one of my possesions to my youngest daughter with out making sure it was ‘discussed and agreed upon’)I am a remarried widower as of 3 years ago. The only way I found out about this ‘trashing’ was mutual friends called me when they saw it. She had emailed me with an attitude I would never have used with my parents. When I wrote back with my position on my possesions, rather than open a dialog, she went to the web. This won’t heal soon but it dawned on me, her life is her own worse punishment. I love her, but I don’t like her, and I’m tired of her trashing my values on face book at every chance and expecting that the world should go along. God bless parents that at least try! Hang in there bro! Vaughn Slavin

  210. i agree with u on most of the terms but shooting laptop is a bit of waste. Dr. Phil is just a complete idiot, if he use his method of replying to you in asia, he would have 2 type several billion vids. cause many asians are like you, include my mum and dad and my grandmother ! Kudos to you sir, by the way i m 16 this October

  211. Hello, my name is João Pedro(You can call me John, because it is way easier), and I’m a 21 y-o Brazilian guy.

    First of all, my congratulations on how you handed the problem. In your place, I would probably do the same(if I had a gun, of course).

    In my early years, I didn’t have the same spanking or any of that from my parents. BUT, I had a very extensive and continuous learning from my parents. They never spanked me, as I said before, but they did mostly the same thing as you did, Sir. Take all that is “fun” away from me whenever I did wrong things, tell me the rules of living, how to respect everyone(I learned fast, because I was afraid of my dad spanking me whenever I did something wrong, which he never did(as I continuously repeat here)). My point is, kids really need parents who can be the authority, and can make kids see the importance on respecting those same authorities, or any authority at all. Even though my parents didn’t spank me, I still say “Sir” for any men I work with, actually, thinking about it, any men at all. And I still say “ma’am”, for every single women I run into.

    I’m not saying spanking isn’t the right thing to do, actually, for most of the kids, it is the only thing that really works, but, depending on the kids response, you can teach them without the need of physical contact. As I myself have been raisen, the “pshycological torture” of being afraid to been spanked, actually worked.

    We have a problem here in Brazil, because lots of our elders aren’t respectful at all with anyone. But just for an overall example, whenever I see an elder entering the Bus, I always( And I mean it, ALWAYS), offer my spot on the bus. I know this isn’t much, but it is a beggining.

    My parents made me go to school by bus and train, since I was 13 y-o. Now, I can see that all of their hard work on raising a stubborn big-headed guy like me, was meant so that I became a real grown up man.

    Sorry about the bad gramatics.

    I can tell you, Mister Tommy Jordan, that you don’t get only the support from USA, but most of the Brazilians DO agree with your actions! Keep up being the dad and guy that you are!

    P.S: I work with I.T. aswell lol

  212. I am 26 years old from Western NC, and I only just got clued into your video and the subsequent uproar. As far as I am concerned, you rock.
    I have seen so many kids today that have so little respect for their parents and other adults that it is verging on ridiculous. I was raised the “old-fashioned” way, with spankings, groundings, and *gasp* chores around the house and farm. My father often put his boot on the toes of my shoes as a warning under the table or used what I called “church discipline” – putting his arm along the back of the pew as though he was hugging the whole family. In reality, that hand was there to flick me in the back of the head if I started getting too unruly. I turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself, and I will raise my own kids with the same expectations.
    I was nodding and “mmhmm”-ing the entire time you spoke in the video to your daughter, because I could imagine those same words coming from my father had I ever done such a thing. Also because of your video, I was relieved to find that there are still lots of parents and non-parents that support the “old-fashioned” tradition. So many times it seems as though a lack of discipline and respectfulness is the norm in raising kids today – its good to know that’s not true.
    Thanks for being a good parent.

  213. Excellent job calling out Dr. Phil. I think his “Dr. Phil Family” is a perfect example of how he helps families. That poor Alexandra is now a drug addict and doesn’t have custody of any of her children. I wonder if things would have been different for her if her therapist had been a real one that operated behind closed doors and not some money-grubbing quack.

  214. My husband and I are 31 and 32 years old. We are the parents of a wonderful 6 year old little girl. We agree with the way you handled the situation with your daughter. One thing that I think is wrong with our society is that parents are too busy trying to make kids happy and feel good about themselves, they forget to teach them that life is hard work. We spoil our kids to the point that they think they deserve anything and everything without working for it. Kids these days don’t know what hard work is. We might be young parents, but we can see how this mindset is hurting our kids once they get out in the real world. I bet your daughter is going to grow up to be a hard working, self-sufficient, confident woman.

  215. I think that raising our children by Dr. Phil’s standards is an epic fail. I am 30 years old, and when I was in school, there was no need for metal detectors. Nobody brought guns to school. In my town, kids were spanked if they did something that warranted it. Now we have a generation that is only 15 years later, and look at what has happened???!!! We put kids in a “time out”? Really? I am willing to bet that all these kids we read about in the news were never punished. My father was JUST like you, and he raised five children, and four were girls. The thought of doing something like Hannah did would never have even entered our minds, for fear of the punishment. And guess what???? We all turned out just fine. If this world had more parents like you, there would be a lot less violence and lack of respect in this world. While I bet your daughter is embarrassed by what you did, it wouldn’t have been warranted if she actually thought about what she was doing. I am very glad you did what you did so that the parents who use “time out” as a punishment can actually see how to form a teenager into a respectful, intelligent adult. Bravo:)

  216. Dr Phil,you better find another job,perhaps ladscaping or taking care of dogs(poor dogs)let parental care with Mr jordan ,now Dr Jordan,alias,he will take your place on the midia!!!!!

  217. I’m a 46 year old mother of three young men -25, 23, & 20- and the way this situation was brought to my attention was through a friend of theirs’ telling them they should watch this video of a dad “going off just like [their] mom would.” For the record, I never shot any of their stuff. Not because I don’t know how to shoot, or I don’t own a gun, but because going to get one, loading it, and carrying their stuff outside takes too much planning and I just don’t have that kind of control when I’m that aggravated. I did throw a PS2 like a Frisbee out into the front yard one time. (In west Texas, this DOES NOT mean it landed nicely in a bed of well-maintained grass.) Six or eight times of telling them to pick it up out of the living room floor was more than enough for me. I’m not graceful and those things have way too many ‘tripping’ parts. Needless to say, the X-Box was always put away as soon as they were through with it.

    None of them got phones, ipods, computers, cars, or pretty much anything else unless they paid for it themselves (the youngest one still doesn’t have a computer), or it was a gift from someone else (like the game consoles). They decided to band together and ask for an allowance once, for all the chores they did around the house. I made an account sheet for each of them and told them they’d get a dollar for everything they did to contribute to the upkeep of themselves and “our” household. I also made charts for everything their father and I did since it was only fair that if one section of the family was getting paid for that kind of stuff, we all should. They decided they didn’t want to get jobs so they could pay us for our “chores” so they dropped that pretty quick.

    All three of them are all fully functional adults with jobs (not as strippers, lol), living on their own, and calling me at least once a week. They do this without having a criminal record, an addiction, or emotional problems. The oldest two have wives, the youngest has a girlfriend, who appreciate that their men can cook, clean, do laundry, and generally require a wife not another mother.

    According to these “doctors”, my kids are the exception rather than the rule, because I did pretty much everything the doctors think is wrong and the kids DIDN’T turn out to be resentful, hateful, emotionally disturbed crack heads that spend their time in and out of jail…

    This is what my oldest had to say in response to a tv show being put on by another “Dr.” (I edited out the worst words because, unfortunately, they weren’t as taboo in my house as they apparently are in Tommy’s):

    “Not spanking your kid has led to a world full of disrespectful, irresponsible, punk ass bleep-ups that think they deserve everything handed to them without working for a bleeping thing. I’m glad I know what respect is, and you learn that by getting your ass whipped when you *think* you already know everything.”

    Enough said.

  218. You say you’re not smart? You’ve got FAR more common sense than many parents today. My wife and I fostered a LOT of troubled kids, and the social worker’s permissive ways are the BIGGEST problem we had.

    You make some excellent and salient points, and I’m pretty disappointed your second video doesn’t have as many views – perhaps you should append it to the first one? I almost missed it myself.

    I’m glad you evidently love your kids – and they WILL love you back in the future even more than they do now.

    Naw, you’re not perfect – but you know, you’re pretty good! Thanks for your honesty.

  219. Hello Mr. Jordan,

    I’d like to say that I fully agree with you ( you probably get that a lot on your blog nowadays ). No matter what anyone says about your parenting – I feel it’s the right kind of parenting. Though, I can never truly understand YOUR families situation, because I’m not you nor am I your family. But you remind me a lot like my stepfather, total hard ass. Which in my opinion is nothing wrong with that, it teaches you manners, respect, decency, common sense, etc. Sure, it may be unpleasant being on the receiving end, but I can proudly say that I am very glad of the way my step father raised me. To save the redundancy of details – he was basically like you, but had he actually owned a gun, I’m sure he would have done the same exact thing. Now that I’m on my own, I actually KNOW how to handle life when it knocks me down, I all of a sudden have the most patience in the world, I know how to handle hot situations, etc. Life skills that I needed, they were taught to me, using the “old-fashioned” way of parenting. I personally agree with you, maybe not with a laptop full of lead, but at least your children are learning, it may not be now, but I certainly did learn a lot later on in life. I felt the need to comment and say that I agree with you.

    Sincerely,
    Jojo

  220. I have two children, a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl. My job as a parrent is to make sure they are disciplined properly and that they have what they need. (NEED) being the key word! My kids do not NEED a lap top at age 15, or a cell phone or any other over priced toy, those are calld (WANTS). What you did to her lap top was only a mild act of what i would and WILL do if eather of my children ever do something like that. As for paying her for chores… REALLY!!! dont you pay the bills and put the roof over her head? You eaven made a comment in the vid that she would have to pay you back for the money you just spent on her to upgrade her computer. Sounds to me like she was being paid. As for Dr. Phil, with all do respect, you have all the rateings you need, not to mention enough money to set you for life, who are you to put yourself in there lifes, if they thought they needed you im sure they would call you. It sounds to me like this father has got everything under control! He has a 15 year old that he raised without your help. I think he hit the nail right on the head when he called you out on your on game. And what really gets me is that during this whole thing, he was very respectful and never lost his timper. that says a lot about him as a person, a father, and a real parent. All i can say after all this is GREAT JOB DAD!! I hope my children turn out as well as yours do.

  221. I absolutely disagree with Dr. Phil: being the ‘youth of today’, I see with my own eyes, every day of my life, that many kids don’t understand how important it is to respect those around you, and not take everything for granted.
    I would like to address something he said toward the beginning of the video – that she is mouthy, and that she had gotten it from her father. Possibly true, although there are many other ways she could have picked that up. Anyways, what I seem to understand that he was implying is that she got it from her parents – therefore it is not her fault – therefore she should not be punished (as severely)? In what world does this logic make any sense?
    Dr. Phil’s, I’m guessing.

  222. The biggest challenges with my sons were pleasing everyone. But it would always come down on me when things went wrong. It was impossible to please everyone. I have been writing about my past to help others and because I see things more objectively I honestly can look with total understanding what went wrong. Professionals cant just step into another families dynamics and put us all into the same formula, and blame the parents abilities for everything. Even though your assertiveness wouldn’t have been effective in my sons life, your the right man for your daughter. Your daughter is so fortune her father is the type who would take a bullet for her, and I am sure she knows it. My sons never had that…. they never had the things your daughter had but kids just don’t get it at that age. If kids don’t develop or appreciate things that are a privilege, and have a bad attitude then it seems more likely they will not treat other things with respect when the time comes(Like dads car). No doubt your daughters have your personality, the show ‘wife swap’ shows how disastrous it is when we try to think we can bring up another persons family when we have a totally different mannerism. My sons never had a easy life or man in their life, no one stood up for them or to them which is sad. You didn’t hit your daughter, you shot her pc… I doubt shes emotionally damaged for life, because if she is, shes not your daughter and switched at birth. You made internet boundaries something for other parents to talk about, because it is serious and dangerous for kids to share everything. Your her dad, the guy who she will hate when you don’t like her boyfriend, and she will love when you hold her after her boyfriend is gone. Just a piece of advice, sometimes that’s all I did to make the most difference in my witty, strong minded, sons…and listened , because they told me everything and I felt better being told than never knowing or things being too late. Today, my son is 6’4″and slouched over me, hugged me and held me, he told me he felt so safe and didn’t want to let go. Imagine, now a full grown man, our kids still, always will need there parents.

  223. I work for the SC Department of Corrections and at our facility we have a unit full of 18 to 21 year old inmates who, for the most part I imagine, were not raised the “Old Fashioned” way and landed in prison for the lack of it. Most of them don’t get a letter or a visit because their parents have given up and now want us to raise these boys. The majority have charges ranging from drug issues to violent crimes. If their parents had taken the time to administer a little “capital punishment” many of them would not be incarcerated. They have no respect for themselves, society or life in general as a rule. They join The Bloods or Crips to have a sense of belonging. They steal cake from the chow hall because they don’t have money to buy snacks from the canteen and they are constantly on “lock down” because they can’t follow the simple rules we set forth…keep your shirt tucked in, don’t sag your pants, shave, bathe and go to school. The only thing they are going to take from their prison experience is possibly a GED (in the best cases) or how to be a better criminal (in the worst cases). Woefully the later is going to be the norm. If they had dads like Tommy, a lot of them would be good productive citizens instead of $28000 per inmate per year burdens on the people of the state.

  224. I agree with you Tommy. Kids no days have no respect! I got my butt busted too when I was a kid, and I would have never posted something like that online about my parents! I’m 32, and when I was a kid we didn’t have lap tops, cell phones, ipods, stuff like that. We had chores, and maybe we got allowence and maybe we didn’t. It didn’t matter, if we were told to do something, we did it, no back talking about it. You would get the attitude slapped right out of your mouth! If my child ever puts something disrespectful like that on facebook, it will be the end of facebook for her until she’s 18! Not to mention I would take away the cell phone, and have it turned off. There is nothing wrong with laying down the law, somebody has to teach these kids, and it’s our jobs as parents to do so! Dr. Phil did call the kettle black on that one! I respect Dr. Phil, I’ve seen him help a lot of people, but yeah, that was a little hipacritical there!!! I think you’re doing the right thing as a parent, keep up the good work, your daughter will thank you when she grows up, and has a family of her own, she will then understand where you were coming from!

  225. You are without a doubt the best father I have seen next to my own. I too was raised to say sir and ma’am, thank you and please to everyone at all times. I am 53 years young and still say those words to this day! I tried everything you can think of as a teenager to rebel against my parents rules and at the time was angry at them for their rules. I thank them both every chance I can for raising me the way they did and not giving up on me when most people would have. You dished out the appropriate punishment at the time and never think otherwise. My father would’ve done the same thing you did and I like your daughter would’ve been angry at the time. Trust me, one day she will look back on this and thank you for being the parent that you have been to her and she will know she deserved the punishment. As for Dr. Phil…I LOVED your reply back to his comments that he had no business butting in to. Especially since you have made it clear to him to stay out of it! Please don’t do anything different than what you’ve been doing as a father to your children. Too many parents try to be their childs friend instead of being their parent and it shows as the child becomes an adult. Your children will thank you in a few years and it will show as they raise their children in the same manner in which you have raise them.

  226. I think that more Parents need to be like Mr Jordon, That is the problem today is kids are not taught Respect, and if a parent does the least little thing to make there children behave it is now called abuse from our system!!! If my boys was bad they got there butts whip, they are now 28 an 27 an they have respect for me an there elders, an they will also tell you they would have not wanted to be raised any other way!!! They work for a living not out stealing from someone or in jail. If parents where allowed to raised there childern the way we where raise this world would be a better place.

  227. I applaud you. I am 35 years old, and although I was raised by a foster family, my foster father, who is the only man I ever really knew as Daddy, effectively raised me as his son. He was an amazing man, a former marine, and taught us to be responsible by making the punishment fit the crime. I think that so many more parents should put a foot down. It amazes me that kids talk to their parents the way they do. I hear it everywhere. Shopping, restaurants, at my sons school, church… really, church… everywhere, kids talking back and even down to their parents. I applaud you for how thoughtfully you wrote your rebuttal to Dr. Phil. I was shocked at what he had to say about you on the today show. I remember my Dad placing a well timed “thump” across the back of my head, and even with a foster father. I also remember being grounded until I learned a lesson, but aside form all of that… I remember the talks, I remember him explaining to me what I did wrong, even if I knew, and why I was being punished, how long the punishment was to last, and finally the very last words he would say at the end of every one of those conversations… I love you son. Even if at times I was angry about the punishment and didn’t believe him, looking back I know he meant it, also that he took no pleasure in punishing us. As I said I am now 35, and it is 17 years since I stepped into the world on my own. I live my life by the lessons I learned from my Dad. I lost him in early January, and I wish everyday that I could call him up and thank him for how he raised me. Especially since seeing your video, and hearing and reading your rebuttal to Phil, I’m sorry but I really can’t believe people accept him as a Dr. I miss my Dad… I am one now… I waited until later, mine are 5 and 2, but I will always use the lessons and love that was instilled in me by my Daddy. Thank you Sir for taking a stand for being a real parent!! We need more of you!

    Sincerely,
    Todd Trimble

  228. I just, today heard about the laptop shooting. I really commend you for that Mr. Jordan. I did see the interviews with you and your family. You have a wonderful family. I agree in TOUGH LOVE. You have received alot of comments both positive and negative. You have handled all of them with class. My hats off to you. Really like the video about Dr. Phil. I have never once seen his show because I think that he is full of it. Good luck in the future to you and your family

  229. Much respect to you and your family!! I agree with old ways of raising kids.I am 32 and my grandparents was older when they had my parents.So I guess I was raised with the old ways! We got up for school and went to our farm (we lived in the city but had farm in the country) to bottle feed calves before and after school.We was to do our homework as soon we got in the house,do our chores while supper was cooking,then we could go OUTSIDE and play.How many kids get off their butt and go OUTSIDE? With all the computers and gadgets we have kids are far from where i came from.My kids which are 12,10 and 6 have all been raised to hunt,fish and fend for them self.You dont kill.catch it unless you eat it.The next generation only knows fast food,do they know how to raise a garden if something awful happens in the world? Do they know how to store food to last them all winter long? I don think so.So to leave it at that,me and my family respects you and your ways! Next time make her shoot the laptop ;) Much love!!

  230. This all makes me sad. Please remember “we earn respect in this life”, we cannot demand it or force it. Your daughter was feeling pain when she posts negative, hurtful comments. It is your job to try to understand her perspective and help her through her issues. It is not your job to worry about your own embarrassment or freak out about being “dissed”. You may shut her up, but you are not dealing with the feeling underneath-her anger will come out another way, unless you get to the root of the feelings.Trust me.

  231. I’m amazed that people are commending a father behaving as if he were stunted emotionally at around 12yrs old. A young teen has a right to blow off steam, whine and even complain. She did it to her friends on her FB. She is learning to regulate her emotions & guess what-she is a child! She will behave irrationally & immaturely-that’s normal. But no parent should use weapon to violently prove he’s in charge. The father displayed a lack of maturity, insecurity and a need to dominate and have total control. Guess what? There is only one thing you can control in life-that’s your own behavior & he obviously needs some help with that.Oh, & I have 4 kids,ages15-22 & have never had to use a gun to prove a point.

  232. All I can say is that I love this guy. Seriously. I thought parenting like this no longer existed. The youth today are so darn spoiled and self-entitled it’s disgusting. Parents either don’t believe in punishment or are afraid they’ll be judged for it. Where has that gotten us? A bunch of whiney ass, lazy kids. Or kids that are so fragile that the slightest act against them causes them “depression” and they don’t have the skills or the insight to rise above it. It’s just such a tragedy. I give HUGE kuddos to him for not being afraid to be a strong parent – even against adversity.

    BTW, I’ve been a huge fan of Dr. Phil for years, but his taken on this is completely ridiculous. Sometimes kids need a little humiliation – life isn’t all roses and rainbows, Dr. Phil. Kids need to learn inner strength and it needs to start at home.

    • I agree with you , kids need to learn how to act and that life is tough and
      how parents/guardians teach that is up to them to a certain extent
      i do think that man was a little over the top but it certainly worked and i hope his daughter doesn’t do anything like it again!

  233. I agree with the actions of Mr. Jordan. I believe that most parent should raise their kids the same way. Although my parents didn’t spank me as often as they should have, I do believe that their spanking played a huge role in my life. I also think that their actions made me the person I am today. Today, I am a college student that is about to graduate, and soon start working on a masters degree in business. I know how to clean, cook, work in landscaping, work on automotive vehicles, and work in construction. So when Doctor Phil asks the questions “Did you? Really?” to the statement “Well, I turned out pretty well,” I would have to say “yes”. In the words of Dr. Phil “We want to carry the legacies that are good”, how is raising lazy, disrespectful, rebellious kids a good legacy? My father starting working at the age of eight to support his family because his dad left him and his family. My mother stopped attending school at the age of ten to start helping her family with harvesting, taking care of her brothers and sisters, and to maintain the house clean because it was a necessity. So when Dr. Phil asks the question, did people raised with the old methods turnout better? I would have to say “yes” again. Dr. Phil mentioned that kids today are not capable of understanding consequences, and back then kids were force to understand consequences. So how is losing the ability to understand consequences an improvement on future generations? Through my parents experiences and the way they raised me, I have learned to be independent and to be positively productive. So yes, I did turn out “well”. Of course, I do believe spanking is appropriate when it is well deserved, and clearly explained as a punishment for bad behavior. I don’t however believe that kids should be cruelly beaten, and not even given an explanation. I believe that spanking should only go as far enough to get the message across that it is a punishment for bad behavior, and not a bit more than that. People like Dr. Phil are the reason for lazy kids like the ones seen on the following Youtube video site http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_Kb3nt1Cjs&NR=1&feature=endscreen (Sorry, the video is in Spanish). Basically, the video states that there is an increasing number of kids that don’t attend school or work in Mexico. In other words, they are totally dependent on others, and don’t feel pressured or self-motivated to become independent. Instead, these kids blame their current situation on certain conditions and on other people, yet they refuse to blame themselves. People like Dr. Phil encouraging kids to be disrespectful, disobedient, and lazy does not help our situation. Some people might say, “well, I never said anything of this sort”, but you implied it by supporting them and suggesting that they are right. Not to mention, you are encouraging them to constantly question their parents decisions. Dr. Phil also mentioned that the results of the Today.com poll was largely based on parents with instances where they wished they could have done something similar to their kids. I am not a parent, meaning that I have not had the previously mentioned instances, and I agree with Mr. Jordan’s actions. The simple fact is that most people believe that old child raising methods produced better results than current raising methods. I am one of those people. I know that my parents had it harder than me, and the that is why I don’t claim anything different.

  234. I have to say, Tommy is a hero now of mine. My grandfather is the hero. I am 25, my step father beat and abused me and deserves to be planted out back, but for as evil of a man as he was, my grandparents made up for. My grandfather taught me how to be civil, to make conscious, rational decisions at 12 years old. I learned respect the same ways Tommy did, but from my grandfather. My step dad would call me all the horrible degrading names as well as beat me in public, with not a single word from passer-bys, but my grandfather would give me that “flick in the back of the head that left me ringing”.
    Every child is different, no two children can be raised using a pre-scripted mold. What works for one child may not work for another.
    As for her getting a job, as others have noted as workign at a young age, I have been working, earning money outside of chores, since I was 12. First as a farm hand in Tennessee until I was 17, then in the military (thanks to my grandfather’s urging), and now I am in college part time and working 3rd shift full time, living on my own, paying my bills. I use ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’, hold open doors, etc.
    The problem with society is it has become to politically correct. Remember, I am but 25 years old, yet I have learned the same lessons the same way as Tommy has. I am a firm believer in corporal punishment. What most people miss by that statement, and often confuse it with, is abuse. There is a BIG difference between punishment and abuse. I know; I have experienced both. My step dad abused me, my grandparents disciplined and punished me for my wrongs. They taught me it is best to fess up when I am wrong, take my licks, and move on. To this day, if I disrespected somebody or went against the “old ways” as the so called “Dr.” Phil says, my grandfather would prolly come out of the grave and still tan my hide!
    I am by no means telling how to raise children, simply stating for some of the above commentors saying he was wrong, not all children can be raised by the same mold. You have to do what works for that child, and give them tough love when needed. I’ve been locked out of the house for missing curfew, I learned to get home before the prescribed time!

  235. Mr. Jordan, do not be dissuaded nor crestfallen by the inevitable flood of idiots that will decry you for taking a positive, and proactive stance in the raising of your children. You have done absolutely nothing wrong nor unwarranted. You set a rule, it was violated, you took action. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT A CONCERNED AND LOVING PARENT SHOULD DO. For too long, our country has labored under the delusion that children can do no wrong, ever, at any time. This is simply not true. Children, by their very nature, are duplicitous and dishonest. They are not evil, per se, but they do act from impulse rather than enlightened self interest. That is exactly why we do not allow them to enter into financila contracts or to own property. They simply do not have the maturity to handle those obligations. By that same token, the lap top that was destroyed did no, at least in a legal sense, belong to your daughter. You bought and paid for it, and, as a responsible adult, it belonged to you. By extension, its use was subject to your terms.

    You did nothing wrong, sir. Not a damned thing. Do not apologize to the namby-pamby jerks that would usurp your rights as a parent and competent adult.

    I honestly think that if many of today’s “troubled” youth had received a firm, hard spanking when they acted like little criminal jerks, we could have avoided many, many of the constant school shootings and savagery that has become commonplace. To that end, sir, you may have very well prevented a senseless crime, perpetrated by a young woman who “didn’t kow any better”…because she had never been taught any better.

    Be prepared…the crybabies are going to crawl out of the woodwork to villify and harangue you. While they are spending their time harrasing you, rest assured that their “perfect” children are doing everything in their power to prove that children, when left to their own devices, are immoral little savages who are solely concerned with their own personal gratification.

    Was your reaction over the top? Maybe. Did it make a point? Definitely. We don’t need children calling the shots, we need adults doing so. You did. And for that, I salute you. If you are ever in Pueblo, Colorado, look me up. I’ll buy you the best steak dinner we have to offer, and a case of your favorite beer.

  236. in my opinion you were correct in your actions and i think very fairly you did the right thing she was disrespectful to you, her elders and family you showed here that it will not be allowed or will it be tolerated in your house hold, and the fact of the mater is that if she was to do that same thing to someone out side of your home and family they may not be as fair as you were they may have take an extreme action against her so by you showing her a small extreme consequence you show her that you will not hurt her but others may not be as genital. so i applaud you for your actions and your creative form of punishment good job sir.

  237. I am a New Yorker … i am also a conservative … you are an inspiration ! i always say how could he do this to people publicly on his show? he is every bit the hypocrite you have stated he is !!!

  238. Tommy Jordan, Your actions are justified the impressive part of this whole situation in which no one seems to point out is the fact that discipline itself has evolved over the years and this is the perfect example of what needs to be done with this whole online generation. What your daughter did was the equivalent of a child going to school (in the old days with no internet) and telling all her friends at school how horrible her parents and that she is left all alone getting pity instead of working hard to become a role model and then a teacher overhears the rumor, addresses it to the parent and the parent slaps the child right in front of all her friends. Yeah it is harsh and for a parent it hurts just as much as it hurts the child but the fork in the road that is showing them it is easy to go this was removed and tracks were set to keep them on the straight path. WORK HARD AND PROSPERATY WILL BE THE OUTCOME, some need tougher love than others every parent knows what they need to do to get through to their child and for those who run out of options, well who knows maybe this new Idea you have introduce will work for them since a spanking now a days is abuse and it really gets you no where with certain kids. All in all great job from one parent to another I am sure your daughter will not cause the same embarrassment to her family again.

  239. I think shooting the laptop was the way to go, especially when you have given warning. They also need to learn that you will follow through with your promises.
    I have many words to say about Dr. Phil. The only ones I will say is in some regards he is no better than Jerry Springer. I think more parents need to remember their roles as PARENTS and discipline their children when it is needed. Discipline is different from abuse. The first generation that was raised without spankings or the fear of DFS taking away their kids if they spanked them is now having children. It is so scary! Visiting my son’s at their schools is a nightmare (they are 7 and 12). Kids talking back to adults and total disregard for any type of authority. My boys are becoming a minority in their generation. They are being raised to respect their elders and be courteous to people. I have had people stop me in the store and comment about how they seen my boys do nice deeds for someone in the store. This should be expected…not the exception!!!

    • I agree. There’s a big difference between discipline and abuse. I also agree that you have to follow through on your punishments. Idle threats don’t work and kids will walk all over you if you just keep saying you’re going to do something, but not do it.

  240. Well, I saw your video(s) on YouTube and I have to say that I think your response was cold hearted and emotionally damaging. Instead of teaching your daughter “respect”, you merely taught her fear and probably resentment. If you wish to pursue mutual respect (the kind that doesn’t involve fear or resentment) then perhaps you should try to reason with your daughter on an emotional level and ask her what is wrong. She obviously had many things to get off her chest. Although it was wrong of her to offend you in public, your response was many times worse. Perhaps rather than becoming her enemy you can become her friend. Sit down with her and actually talk face to face, ask her what’s wrong (be patient), tell her to never do that again, and THEN use punishment if necessary (but definitely not nearly to the extreme you used). If you want to rebuttle my argument, then email me or something.

    • actually he already rebutted your argument in his response above. You just didn’t read all of it. If you did, you’d notice he answered your exact position.

  241. I want to start off by saying I don’t personally believe there was anything wrong with what how you chose to discipline your daughter. I’ve had friends and acquaintances whose laptop, video game, etc. I’d like to destroy, and I’m not in any way a parental figure. In your post, however, there are some things I feel I must respectfully disagree with.

    You mentioned that you wholeheartedly believe in spanking and include it as part of “old-fashioned” parenting, the lack of which you blame for the disrespect in today’s youth of authority figures. The problem with this is that, while teaching respect certainly seems to be declining, I’m not so sure that corporal punishment is. It certainly wasn’t for my siblings and I.
    Now, my Nana – who would be 70 were she still alive – never had a hand laid on her by either of her parents, and I have to say that that woman remains the most selfless person I have ever had the privilege of knowing. She was also very adamant about treating others with respect and politeness.
    This woman, after divorcing my grandfather, with whom she remained friends afterward, took up with another man who was very cruel to his four children. She ended up leaving him because of his vileness, but retained a close relationship to his children, whom she eventually adopted. Several years later, she took in my brother and I when our parents became neglectful (my grandfather used corporal punishment on my father, by the way, and my father is now estranged from the entire family, so clearly spanking isn’t any kind of sure-fire way to raise a respectful human being).
    Now, when we went back to our mother, she used corporal punishment, and I don’t believe I benefited from that at all. It bred resentment and fear in my siblings and I. My brother and I left her in our early adolescence to return to our Nana who did not use corporal punishment, and we fared far better.
    I’m not saying that “tough love” isn’t useful; I just think that destroying material possessions (as you did in your video) and grounding is a far better way of doing that than spanking ever has been or will be. I am glad that spanking is something you no longer do with your daughter, but I would hope you can see that successful parenting can and does happen without it.

    The other thing I found off-putting was the way you treated Dr. Phil’s comment about sexual abuse. From what I could understand, he was not trying in any way to compare your parenting style to abuse. Rather he was contrasting it. Molestation = abuse, whereas what you did in your video = a mistake (in his opinion, anyway; I disagree).
    Now, in your post, you heavily implied that the reason for such high levels of sexual abuse are because of the parenting style that Dr. Phil and others of his sentiment recommend. Having endured sexual abuse at the hands of my stepfather has caused me to do a lot of research on the topic, and I do have to say that your characterization is very wrong.
    Sexual abuse of children has been prevalent for a very long time, well before Freud wrote about it. Its prevalence was exposed by the feminist movement and several programs have been put in place over the years to encourage people to report. These programs have been moderately successful at this, though most instances don’t get reported to police, and it’s estimated that a lot of them don’t get reported at all.
    The high level of sexual abuse reports today does not mean it was less prevalent when you were a child; it just wasn’t talked about, and children who did talk about it were silenced. My Nana, for example, was molested by a teacher when she was 9; this teacher went on to molest every female student in all of his classes. My great aunt was forcibly kissed by a teacher when she was a teen. These men were never punished for what they did, and my Nana and great aunt were told to keep quiet about it.
    Sexual abuse of children hasn’t a lot to do with parenting styles so much as it does with power structures in place within society that make some people think themselves entitled to take advantage of a defenseless child.

    Again, I do not take issue with your taking a gun to your daughter’s laptop; I think it was appropriate given her repeated actions. Rather it was the philosophy that spanking is appropriate and the heavy implication that child sexual abuse correlates to current parenting styles that I felt I had to address to you. It just doesn’t square with my experience, nor with my research. I apologize for how long this comment is, but hope that you will take what I’ve said into consideration.

    Thank you, and good luck with your daughter. :)

  242. Humility is freedom from your own driven ego. –Martha Kilpatrick

    Humility is nothing but truth, and pride is nothing but lying. — Vincent de Paul

    Humility is nothing else but a right judgment of ourselves. –William Law

    Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. –C.S. Lewis

    Without Humility There’s No Humbleness. –Me

    There is no way kids will learn anything if they don’t become humiliated by their own actions and these suppossid doctors think they are so smart when it comes to kids. They get this stuff out of a text book…written by someone that whined about their family life when in reality it was not that bad. I think punishment is ok because when you are an adult, you get punished..paying fines, going to jail or prison if you screw up. When these spoiled kids get older that have parents who are afraid to discipline, the kids will have to learn the hard way as adults. Why not get them ready now..we are responsible for getting them ready for the real world. And if that’s bad or it’s abuse then it goes to show that life is not easy, especially when you are an adult. Only we know our kids and the best way to handle them to make sure they won’t make the same mistakes as adults.

  243. I am just a 17 year old girl myself and I believe that everything this man has done is completely laudable. My generation in particular seems to have this sense of entitlement. The vast majority where I come from simply believes that everything they want should be handed right to them. The fact that you need to actually work to get what you want has vanished from their mindsets and it is a very disappointing and upsetting concept.

    On another note, I can only hope and pray that parents will start raising their children in a fashion that will teach them chivalry, hard-work, and of course respect. And I thoroughly believe that this man is teaching his children this in the best way possible.

  244. I’ve seen the Dr. Phil show a few times, but for some reason the show always reminds me of Jerry Springer and Murray mixed in one (yes, there’s a new old jewish woman – she gets rid of the guys taking steroids), alongside cheap cable.

    Kids need a strong hand to guide them responsibilities, chores, consequences, care and someone in charge. They might not see the meaning yet, but they will soon enough. Overall I had just figured the first video was a warning sign to show you *were* serious and to not do it again. The video was simple to understand as far as I was concerned. I’m not a parent myself (can’t be), but I was raised the same way. I made a ruckus when I was a kid and my mother smacked me on the leg, quickly shut me up. Now I hear a crying baby, and I’ll be lucky if one of the parents isn’t texting (I know I can’t smack the baby, but how about the parent?).

    On another note for Dr. Phil’s comment; “If you make A’s, you’re going to have an A standard of living.”: Yes, because complications *never* happen. I was intelligent as a child with an IQ of likely in the mid 140′s had cancer at age 4, survived, never learned to socialize due to constant moving and living alone for periods at a time, never learns how to work in a functional workplace, learned how to program and run a large self sufficient website be a server admin, build custom pc’s with my father in a large city (as far as sqr miles went – population could fit in the good will) then had a grand mal seizure 6 years ago and my epilepsy seems to be inoperable even today and I lost the memories that I learned and cherished throughout my life. I’m even stealing the time my parent’s have since I’m disabled (nursing home at 25 otherwise).

  245. Sir i’m 24, been out on my own since i was fifteen and working to support myself. i agree wholeheartedly with what you did, how you were raised and the response to Dr. Phail…..trolol. I do not like my own generation for the lack of honor and respect. The wanting of having everything handed to them and the immature response and misplacement of blame for there own mistakes. I think its pathetic when i have to tell a grown man, whether at work or in public, how to behave. I bet it sucks having all the attention but i believe its a good thing to get the attention that all the “time-out, child running a muck with no respect” teachings that have been shoved down the throat of the general public because of mass power-heads was and is wrong. I fully agree with the old school methods and fully support you. I hope the best of luck and that mass-media will get there just dues for there assumptions and bad behavior.

  246. I am a 16 year old girl and I’ll be honest I have gotten into some nasty fights with my parents that I am not proud of. I see what you did a bit much (biased teen girl with a laptop here! XD), but I also think what you did was well-deserved, my father has always taught us Respect and consequence for action, his famous words when we were punished were “You may hate me now but down the road in the future you’ll thank me” I believe those words with all my heart and soul. Yet despite my lessons on respect I still have what my mom calls “Bitch Spats” (pardon my language) when I have done whatever I possibly can to hurt/frustrate and anger my parents (especially my Step-father) but I ALWAYS regret and feel disappointed in myself afterwards. I think that these spats are a product of my teenage problems (hormones, angst, the usual teen bull we all hate) that’s where I think the laptop thing was a bit much, squeezed my laptop in horror after i watched the video! HAHAHA! Anyway, I have done something a bit similar on my own Facebook but I deleted it afterward, I vented, the wrong place to do it,yes!, but when you’re upset you don’t think straight. Overall this is just the opinion of a teen girl. Also seeing as I’m commenting in the Response to Dr. Phil page I will say my opinion about his words on the news. I think what Dr. Phil said in general was off, and as a watcher of his show I was disappointed in him with his words against you they were kinda mean. I think you made a very clever and rational rebuttal to his words and many would say BRAVE as well, because of who he is, he is automatically deemed “right”, so to go against him was very brave I think. Your daughter and I are very lucky girls to have Fathers the way you are and we will thank-you in the future when we are successful, another famous quote from my dad I can give is “Respect alone can get you far in life” :) quite the philosopher ain’t he?

    I wish you and your family well and I hope you can return to your normal lives media free soon! Also if you do end up reading this, Thank-you very much for reading!

    • I agree- I’m 20 now. I’ve always been able to see the difference between ‘Bitch spats’ (Totally going to steal this now btw) and down right disrespect. But mostly that was indeed cause by clashing hormones.
      Hell, still is. We’re women- I’m sorry but it happens.
      But there is ALWAYS a hint of respect in every day life, and I kinda have the feeling that this has probably been a little while comin- but while my family has always had a think against the titles ‘Sir’ and ‘Ma’am’ That is just how some people are taught and what is expected of them.
      Now my mother wouldn’t dream of shooting my laptop- it was something I had earned, and while it WAS something she had to teach me to take care of, now that I know I DO IT. I only got it because I got honor-role on the GED (Homeschooled- not a drop out) and it was a good job thing from my grandmother.
      IDK- Dr. Phil really shouldn’t be allowed a tv show. I’m in constant fear that I will one day run into one of the kids raised the way he thinks they should have been… While they might be soft spoken, I’d hate to see what kinda of serial killer they would be… or unthinker.
      But good post Amy. :)

  247. Have you guys read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother? :P I bet you and Amy Chua would be good friends.

    Anyway, I say this from the point of view of an Asian teenage girl.

    I never had a real “allowance,” but I got money for getting good grades/winning math competitions. Winning meaning top 3 places. The catch? I had to pay for *everything* by myself. If I went shopping with my friends, I paid for everything I bought with my “own” money. If I wanted a laptop, I paid for it myself! (My mom’s company actually subsidized 50% of all laptops bought in our household though, but I still had to cough up a good amount of money.)

    Sure, maybe sometimes I think my parents are unfair (e.g. I haven’t been to a sleepover since the third grade), but in the long run, do I really even care? No.

    Although I will say that spanking is an ineffective method–as long as you demand respect from a young age, your children will respect you (as long as you stay reasonable…which you definitely are!) Anyway, I highly recommend for everyone to read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.

    Luckily, most of the people I know are really nice and generally pretty polite, and if we’re on the bus and an elderly person gets on, we will give up our seats for them. But the general environment I was in (I’ve been in a “gifted” program since first grade, although I will say that there are plenty of smart people I know who weren’t in this program or anything similar) was extremely positive, and we all were respectful “good” kids.

    The “old fashioned” way of parenting is better. (Being Asian, I also like the term “Asian parenting,” although that also focuses on being better than everyone else in school…) If you feel entitled now, chances are, you’re not going to be the one running the world in the future. Those kids who studied harder than you and worked hard will!

  248. I’m 16 and even i think you were in the right shooting the laptop.
    Although i was disappointed at the lack of bursting shattered plastic and chunks of laptop flying

    Lol trying to hide stuff from your parents on the computer when one of them is in the IT field of work

  249. I said it on your video, I’ll say it here. FATHER OF THE ******* YEAR!!!! Thanks for what you did. That was awesome! You did good! More parents should be like you! I’m proud to have been raised by parents who didn’t take my crap! If I had enabling parents, I would probably be in jail or dead. Instead, I’m going to school for Game Design. So again, THANK YOU!

  250. Why do you dignify Dr. Phil’s, The View’s, or anyone else’s judgement with a response at all? Only you and your wife are aware of all the aspects of the situation and therefore only you are qualified to judge the situation.

    The next time you decide to shoot a laptop, I would greatly appreciate it if you would ship it to me instead. Just a warning but you might be embarrassed by the gushing of appreciation that you would receive from me for even a used laptop.

    • I would argue that Mr. Jordan had to respond is because Dr. Phil et al. has a major following that would walk away thinking that his actions were unwarranted, when in fact they were. Even within his own home, if he did not respond, then she would feel justified with thinking that the (publicly viewable and ‘educated’) world sided with her, and would not learn from the incident.

      He, however, responded, completely, accurately, and intelligently, leaving no wiggle room for rebuttal. Kudos, Mr. Jordan.

  251. To you sir, I give a well deserved standing ovation. I’m in my 20′s expecting my first child with my wife & I am prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure that my child is raised the way my mom raised me. You did the right thing. My mom would have done the same thing. Just as how your gave you that flick, sometimes my mom only give me a simple look & I feel as if she gave me a good whooping. Kudos to you sir. You are a hero in my book.

  252. It is because of Dr Phil and other like minded “spare the rod” sort of people, otherwise known as liberal parents, that we have this kind of disrespect from our children these days. Parents often choose to be friends rather than role models and therefore cannot discipline from the standpoint of an adult because there is no parental figure and therefore no adult. The respect of your child will never be realized with this approach because you have no more status with your child than his or her other friends. Parents should have the right to discipline their children, barring any sort of abuse, in such a way as to fit the situation and should do so without fail each and every time they commit an offense. Soon they will understand that you are a man or woman of your word and thereby know that “if I do this, I will be punished”. On the news today, there was a mother who’s son committed an offense in school which was severe enough to warrant a four day suspension. The mother, in addition to the school’s punishment, made her son stand in public wearing a sign stating what he had done for the entire four day suspension. The media touted her actions. Public humiliation, or good just parenting? Where is the difference between Mr Jordan’s situation and the aforementioned mother? I suggest that Dr. Phil or some other quack didn’t see a way to make a quick buck for taking this mother down.

  253. Mr. Jordan,

    I came across this entirely by accident (probably because it was viral!). As a parent who has also had some challenging teens, I applaud you and your methods. I am also curious if Dr. Phil, his team, or anyone at the networks have responded to your thoughts.

    Regards,
    Marc Prochello

  254. There are a few issues that follow these actions [the kid's action], some of which are the effects that don’t get the attention they deserve, or simply cannot be given attention because they are like a ripple in… what would be the best way to describe it… our mentality. Subliminal ideals, things like a quack telling you you’re doing something wrong instils a sense of guilt and misjudgement in those who are not dead set in their ways. These ideas swell until the recieving party believes that they are truly doing something wrong. So when your daughter overreacted, and your initial responce created this… viral media outburst [your methods are right in my book, the explosion was overplayed], then Dr. Phil jumped on the bandwagon as an attempt to make you an example. I guarantee you already know this, so I’m not trying to reitterate or make one feel less intellectual [pardon any grammatical short comings]. Dr. Phil may not be a good role model, but in one way he is smart. Create doubt and the world will look for a solution. Be that solution and the world will follow you. Don’t believe that, look at his following. See the people he has on. I’m willng to bet a good chunk, if not all are paid actors. In my personal opinion, perhaps he doesn’t bring out people to embarass, he brings out people to embarrass the viewers. Make them question their own moral system. My apologies if this is too… conspiracy theory, but it was something I wished to get off my chest.

  255. Actually, I would have marched my daughter’s ass out in the yard and made her shoot the laptop (probably hand her a sledge hammer and make her pound it into the ground), and then make her pay me for that laptop since I bought it. As far as Dr. Phil, he is NO Doctor, just like Judge Judy is NO judge. These people are a product of the liberal media who use their Pseudo-professional position to push liberal propaganda. The view, Oprah, Dr. Phil, they’re all worthless mind warping programming no different than Jersey shore, desperate housewives, modern family, the Kardashians, and the like. All of this ridiculous, un-entertaining crap is diluting the morality in this country and turning future generations into zombies that will look to the media for answers.

  256. This is not meant to be the start of an argument, but there are a few things in that statement I disagree with. Mind-warping media has been around since the first public example of writing. The media is not just liberal, and to say it’s only one kind, or that only one kind puts out these… ‘forms of entertainment’ for a less argumentative and stretched expression… is rather single-minded.

    When it comes down to it, the people who make the shows are the ones responsible for it being on the air, and the people who watch it are responsible for it’s longevity. Keeping out political parties and blanket statements, I think it’s fair to agree that the return viewers are the ones responsible. The viewer, or the person[s] responsible for the viewer [e.g. Parents, guardians, friends, family] are the ones who are responsible for limiting or convincing the watchers that the content is not worth watching, or not right to watch.

    If I turn on the TV and I see something I don’t like, guess what, I change the channel. If a niece, nephew, younger cousin, or one of their friends comes over and there’s something on the TV they shouldn’t be watching? That’s right. I change the channel. Or better yet, I turn it off and tell them to go play and have fun. And guess what? They go and play and act like the children they are.

    Mr. Jordan did the right thing. A problem occurred after rules, warnings, and lessons were offered. When the problem couldn’t be resolved verbally, action was taken that did not cause harm, nor abuse to the criminal [or rather, juvenile party] and the problem was solved. All in all, the way we and our kids, and grandkids grow up and live in this society is the responsibility of the respective generation’s guardians. Is it easy? Ask Mr. Jordan, or any other responsible and sensible parent. By the way, if you took offense to me specifying ‘responsible’ and ‘sensible’ either you’re looking for an argument, or you’re neither.

    Regardless of what political standard is ‘pushing’ – and to be honest, I don’t care which one is believed to be doing the pushing – it all falls on the shoulders of the family, community, and school leaders to show the way. Just because we’re in the land of the free doesn’t mean a parent is ‘free’ of their responsibilities. Take a lesson from Mr. Jordan. It’s a hard world, you have to be just as hard.

  257. Media definitely influences the direction of public opinion on matters such as this, as we have all seen in the Zimmerman-Martin case. There are people willing to kill this guy Zimmerman, without the presumption of innocence, primarily due to erroneous and even fabricated reporting by some of the major news networks. The press also abuses the privilege of freedom of speech and press to sway elections and public opinion on various topics or candidates which may be up for vote or election, primarily to support a political agenda. There are those among us who don’t take everything at face value and are not swayed in a particular direction simply because some talking head on tv suggests that we do. Unfortunately people don’t always have the time or means to vet what we hear so much of it is taken for fact, which in turn aides the press in their endeavor to control politics, public opinion, and other events which occur in this country. I am of the opinion that the press should be held both accountable and liable for erroneous or fictitious reporting. They should also have an obligation to tell the whole story rather than omitting facts that do not fit their agenda. Sensationalism should not be tolerated. Most of all, opinion by the reporter has no place in a factual story and should not prohibit them telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. However, money rules, and people like Dr. Phil, Al Sharpton, Bill Maher, and even Rush Limbaugh will be happy to spew whatever propaganda they need to in order to collect. Mr. Jordan, did you at least get a “cut of the take” for what you and your family were forced to endure for the sake of profit? You ARE entitled…

  258. I just saw the 8 minutes video, and I have to applaud it, of course I laughed at the laptop being shot, my idea of gun control.
    I myself was raised as Mr Jordan was, old-school, and like him, I can remember getting taken behind the woodshed, and well I’ll admit I deserved them too. Whether at home or out in public, if I had it comin, I got it. But I learned to respect my elders, other people, and so on.
    As far as the laptop being shot, well, I have a feeling Mr Jordan bought it, so if he wanted to empty a clip of .45 slugs in it, c’est la vie.
    Mr Jordan I commend you for taking the stand you took.
    Semper Fi

  259. Hello, my name is Morgan i know this ordeal is way in the past now but when i hird about it at the time i only hird bits and pices and never knew the whole story. I am a 15 year old girl an p.ersonally i dont find what you did wrong(however takeing the loptop away and not shooting it would be a better dision but i can see why you did what you did). I personally have made a coment on facebok concering my parents before (however i didnt trakke it as far as your doughter did) and i know after i post it that it was stupied of me but i was angry at the time and im shure that what why your daughter made that post. Anger ofden gets the best of people and im shure thats why you went as far to shoot her laptop. I belive that your parents rasied you right and you are rasing your daughter right too however teen’s do let their emonshions get the better of them,as do adults (just not as offden). I also a gree wit you about the “teen pampering” thing. I think that is one of the reasions why teen’s are so disrespicful now-in days. I also have a comment about what DR. Phill said, he said somthing about how most of your persentatiges where from adult/ parents, but thats not true because here i am a 15 year old girl and im sideing with you. Sorry to bring this up out of the blue but i felt that you should know this (although i dont think you will see this sence it is a ordeal that is done and over with) hoeever if you do see it i wish to say, thank you for reading what i had to say.

  260. I’m 15 myself and I thought it was right to punish your daughter but I think shooting the laptop was going a little overboard. There are countless alternatives of destroying a laptop that is just as effective. (ex. Throwing the laptop out the window) Bringing out a gun to destroy a laptop would give alot of people a bad impression and using the rounds to shoot a laptop is simply a waste of bullets. I mean you can reprimand your daughter all you want in front of the whole entire world because after what she did, she totally deserves it. I don’t get Dr. Phil’s thing with public humility although it’s true that it’s kind of immature to do so. I mean if you’re daughter disrespects you on Facebook it doesn’t justify you to reprimand her in front of the world. You’re doing the same thing as her like you said but from what you’re saying, its okay as long as it’s privately to a friend or w/e but its wrong to do it on Facebook. You’re doing basically the same exact thing and the fact that your daughter did it doesn’t justify anything. 2 wrongs do not make a right. If someone killed your daughter or w/e, does that justify you killing that guy’s daughter? No it doesn’t. They wronged you but if you do the same exact thing back to them, you’re the same as them. Now this is just what I personally think. I really think that you’re daughter did deserve punishment although you went a little overboard on some things.

  261. mr.jordan id just like to say im a 15 year old girl and i dont see why people are being so judgemental i think you did the right thing doing that to your daughter i may nt know her or whatever but i know if i ever did anything like that my mom and stepdad would be doing the same thing my grandparents pretty much raised me and taught me right from wrong and taught me to say yes sir or yes mam and if i didnt similar things would happen to me when my grandparents died of cancer they had pretty much done taught me how to act dr. phil is just plain un educated if he thinks a 15 year old dont kno right from wrong! i just want to say i dont think you did wrong i think it was your right to shoot that labtop and i think the ones whos claiming its abuse are just relizing they are being to easy on there kids or are way over protective one!

  262. Thank you Mr. Jordan, for such a detailed and articulate response! I fully agree with you that the “old fashion” way, which may not be the “best way”, is still more effective than much of this new parenting garbage, where parents are ABUSED by their own children and then try to “resolve” their differences on national television in an attempt to correct or cure in a half an hour segment what has been taking roots for years!
    As for your daughter, in case she was trying to look cool and get the attention of her peers, well, she now got attention nationwide which may take care of her “15 year old ego needs” for sometime and I do commend you for that! I wish her well, sincerely!
    Please allow me to make a suggestion: you are a computer expert so, instead of using your gun, next time (if there will be one) just simply remove the hard disk of your child’s laptop! I bet it will be a lot more of fun to watch her figure out why it doesn’t work, after all the time and money you invested to upgrade it! That will save you a lot of money too!
    One last thing before I finish: please let us all know when/if you will be running for Office so we can vote for you! I mean it! Thank you and God’s blessings!

  263. He doesnt seem to be able to fathom the idea of the internet and it’s reaches. Yes, his daughter posted something disrespectful on facebook that her friends could probably see. He posted a youtube video that was then shared with facebook about his daughter thereby completely opening her up to the horrible criticisms of the internet. Millions of people have viewed his video, whereas probably about 75 people saw her little post. He has given millions of people the opportunity to rain their hatred and negaivity down on his daughter and has probably somewhat tarnished her reputation. Yet he doesn’t seem to see asolutely anything wrong with this. I personally think Dr. Phil is mostly just a babbling idiot, but I think he has a point. His daughter acts this way and instead of handling the situation in way that didnt involve him making hasty decisions due to his frustrations, he did just the opposite. In doing so, he’s saying that this is how you should react to conflict and is teaching his daughter such. No wonder where she gets it. Seriously.

    • *sigh* Mr. Jordan posted it to the same audience that she posted the original letter. He had no intention of… y’know what? I’m done. He did good. Do your research.

  264. i think its a good thing he did what he did she will learn not to do it again and Dr. Phil does the same thing every time he has a kid on his show he embarrasses kids every time and he sits there and says you shouldn’t embarrass your kid publicly or nationally well you do it all the time so you should probably watch what you say cause your just being hypocritical and that’s for Dr. Phil

  265. I get the impression that Dr. Phill is not even a REAL Dr. He is so out to lunch where child rearing is in reality. His show is such a farce. I don’t see why it is on TV. Two thumbs up for Mr. Jordan. Zero kernels of Popcorn for Dr. Phill…..

  266. Perfect Rebuttal! (: While I was shocked when you shot the laptop, I know you did it thinking for the best of your daughter!

  267. You know who’s going to grow into being a strong, independent young woman? One not concerned with trivial insecurities like school popularity, but instead with things that matter? Your daughter, Mr. Jordan.
    I’m a 22 year old man, about to graduate from college. It was an education fully funded by my father, and his years of hard work. Not for one second do I want anyone to be under the impression that I expected such an opportunity, and I truly recognize how rare and precious such a thing is. Does everyone who receives a fully financed education think the same way I do? Definitely not. In fact I’d claim to be the minority. The reason for this was all about the parenting. Like you mentioned in the clip above, I probably remember every spanking I ever received, more so because it was not a common occurrence in my household, but when me or my sister were deserving of such a punishment, we knew why, we learned the consequences of our actions, and we realized later on just how much it pained our Dad to do it.
    Hindsight’s 20/20, and yes, while some say this punishment doesn’t fit the crime because of the difference in audience size, I can’t imagine at the time you figured this whole thing would become the episode it has. There is a part of me that feels for your daughter because of the amount of eyes that have now drawn to this situation. Nevertheless, I’m quick to applaud you rather than criticize you.
    One last note. My girlfriend of 3 years, and of the same age as I, grew up with some of the same moral foundation that you are trying to instill in your daughter. I can’t tell you what a breath of fresh air it is to find a young lady that practices such qualities as respect, accountability, and a strong work ethic. Those aren’t hereditary, they’re taught. Why anyone would want to be with someone they don’t find interesting from the start is beyond me, but I can promise you, some day, a man that is worthy enough of your daughter will thank you for the job you did. Sad to say, it seems to be a dying method.
    Good luck to you, let’s pray those numbers are accurate and that that many people believe you were right on track with your approach.

  268. All parents should reserve the right to embarrass their children in public. It’s not for Dr. Phil to do that but he does; and he does it for money. And yes, I believe Dr. Phil is a hypocrite for chastising this NC dad. I don’t disagree with Mr. Jordan’s reaction to his daughter’s rant; but if all parents were to use common sense with Biblical principles there would be far less of what Dr. Phil publicizes.

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  271. Your probably getting to much stuff to read, but I just had to say,I agree with you 100% for the way your raising your daughter,and shooting the laptop was the best lesson I’ve seen in a long time. That really surprised me coming from a high tech college educated person,like your self. Me and my wife raised 4 kids,2 of them girls,now my youngest girl graduates from Liberty University next week. We used the Bible and the board of education on the seat of understanding many times. The only difference I can see between you and me is, I would have used my 44cal.1858 Rem. with 45cal. conversion cylinder to shoot the laptop. Amen.
    PS. you can watch my oldest son saw cedar shingles on his mill up here in Maine, just Google CK shingles, and the YouTube video will come up.

  272. I don’t even remember how I stumbled across this story but I have to say that I am glad that I did. I did cringe when you shot the laptop though. I fully understand how you felt when you made the video. My kids are 8, 6, and 3. My daughters are as sweet as pie and so is my son, however my son is one of the most hard headed kids I know he’s not bad just knows too much for a 3 year old, he knows just what to do to get over on getting in trouble for things. I’ve never liked Dr. Phil I think that his show is just as bad as Steve Wilcox, Jerry Springer, Maury, and the list can go on. These shows are supposedly supposed to be helping people and 95% of them in my opinion do nothing but humiliate the families of these people as well as shame those that go on them (even though some want that 5 seconds of fame). I think that your daughter will turn out just fine, in fact if I were her I’d be trying to please you for the rest of my life so something like this doesn’t accidentally happen again. Times are different generations are being lost and this is a wake up call that the old way worked just fine in the past. Now, if only the government would recognize this too and stay out of our homes and schools as to what can and cannot be done.

  273. I was pointed toward this video by my now 22 year old daughter. We not only thought the response was appropriate, but having seen your response to Dr. Phil after watching the Today Show segment, I am impressed. Your thoughtful rebuttal of each of his points shows a logical, intelligent, and well reasoned discussion. Thank you for expressing what many of us believe. Have you ever considered running for office?

  274. I am from Saudi Arabia and must of us deal with kids just like what you do. This is the right way to do it.

    I am supported.

  275. All I can say is that what Mr. Jordan did was an acceptable way. In many cases parents do have to go to the extent of doing what parents do. They will do whatever it takes for their child to understand right and wrong.

    I am 19 years old. No, I did not receive the extreme consequences that Mr. Jordan did, but I think it does open many eyes for all ages where people can understand these things. I understand every single thing that a parent like Mr. Jordan does is because they love their kid, and they want them to turn out right.

    I for one can say that I am very grateful to my parents that they taught me these things as a child. That is why I received my old laptop before at the age of 15. They knew that I always obeyed my parents, despite my own flaws they know that I will learn and be able to grow from it. The current laptop I have right now is my own laptop, I had to go work and pay for it with my own money. They bought me a piano when I learned it, and now I bought my own ukulele with my own money and I am learning it extensively now, because they taught that when I want to learn something, we must work hard to earn it.

    And I think that Mr. Jordan will agree with me, that we must work hard in life to be able to learn to be better people and to be able to earn that respect that we all should have.

    I can agree though, that what I say isn’t going to be necessarily correct because I am still learning (Yes, I do ask my parents for advice as I go along with my own life), and I still have a long way to go.

    So thanks to my parents, and more kids do need to be more grateful that their parent hasn’t shot a bullet through their laptop yet :)

    P.S- This is what I perceive of how all this is happening. Also, on the subject of abuse, I don’t think this is considered abuse. There is nothing seemingly wrong that leads us to want to report him, because some things that we see as mean is because we have no idea how they have lived and what kind of culture within their family is like. I can tell you that I am Asian, and in Asian cultures (Not sure if some will agree with me), but I got worse than a spanking. I’ve gotten the bamboo stick that would smack my butt if I did something wrong.

  276. First off: When I first saw your video I wasn’t sure what to think. Then I realized that my teens are rude, ungrateful, violent, etc… and it is MY FAULT. I needed to take accountability and take the reins back. I wasn’t stupid for expecting my teens to help me. I am proud to say, my kids have changed very much since I first saw your video. It is time parents realize that it is OUR JOB to instill these positive behaviors in our kids. No one else will or should do this for us. I applaud you for having a clear line drawn and for taking action when that line was crossed.
    I was not lucky enough to have parents who instilled a single positive thing in me. They taught me poor parenting skills, poor work ethic, no love, etc. I have struggled for years trying to teach myself these things. Many poor decisions and years later, I am finally finding out HOW to be who I always wanted to be. But it took me until I was in my 30′s. I do not want this for my kids. So, thank you for showing me that it is OK to have a line drawn and it is OK to uphold it.

    As for Dr Phil, Sir you amaze me with how you have handled this media circus. Your responses to him make you appear intelligent and level headed. If only our politicians were as honest and level headed as yourself.

    Your actions have spoken loudly to me and I although I know you never intended for it to be this big, I am glad I saw this. Your daughter is a very lucky young woman to have a dad who loves here this much. Wish all were as luck.

    The responses I have read from other teens and young adults who were raised with the values you have tried instilling in your child have made me realize that if done correctly, my children will thank me for setting clear lines for them. This isn’t obvious always to some of us who were raised very differently. So, thank you Sir, for being a wonderful parent and for having the intelligence to handle the ensuing media circus without allowing them to portray you in a negative light. I detest the media :) and Dr Phil as well.

  277. I.. What is this guy even trying to be? First of all he acts like he’s so noble and stuff, and then he can easily shoot a laptop he put a lot of money into? After he complained about paying for it?

    .. And honestly, he says this whole public thing was on accident? What kind of person posts a video like that on youtube, and on a wall, and says it’s on accident? If there’s one thing about the internet, it’s that if one person finds something funny, then they will show it to a group of friends that they think would also find it funny. And then it keeps spreading like that. That’s how I got here, afterall, as it was in one of my skype groups.
    I just.. I can’t even understand how so many people are supporting this. I just love all of his ‘nothing you can do about it now’ crap, too. How about, I don’t know, deleting the video that’s spreading like wildfire?

    .. And honestly, this Teen is still just growing up. She’s just being influenced by hormones and the like, while being taught how to act by a public school full of idiots, probably.

    TL;DR Butthurt father is butthurt.

    • And for the hundredth time Carlos, do the research before responding. Here, I’ll repeat it again, for your convenience…

      Mr. Jordan posted this video (which was a perfectly appropriate response to the offense) to the same audience that the original letter was posted to, a handful of her friends (and those specific parents that would have incidentally learned of the video) via her Facebook wall. Beyond that scope, any other attention would, in fact, be unintended, and therefore, accidental.

      Also, the only time Mr. Jordan ‘complained’ about the cost of the laptop, was to remind her that she would be paying for it if she wanted a replacement (after she paid for the rounds and, perhaps, the additional software).

      TL;DR Ignorant Carlos is ignorant

  278. Dr Phil is not the answer man as he thinks he is. For the most part he is only doing what he does to make LOTS OF MONEY!

    Dear Sir, Adult-to-Adult and Dad-to-Dad, you should not have taken this public. This should have been handled in the privacy of your own home. As far as the majority agreeing with you in you’re fit of anger and childish hillbilly ways only shows how much trouble this World is really in. Sin is the problem and Jesus Christ the Son of God is the only answer. We all need to spend more quality time with our children. If we will not do this then the government will. I hope that I drove this point home. The government would love to own our children. It’s amazing that true blood washed, holiness families do not have the problems that the sinner does with their children. It might be that the Bible is correct and that the World is not. Dear Sir how much time do you spend in quality time teaching your children “by example” what the Word of God says? Are you training up your children in the way that they should go? Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Eph 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Many fathers expect their children to respect their adulterous affair with their so-called second wife and the children are not on board. The children are scared and hurt from the divorce. When divorce takes place it’s due to the hardness of our hearts. The children are the ones that suffer the most as you expect them to deal with it.

    Wake up call to a wicked and adulterous generation!

    • Your post makes quite a few ASSumptions. The biggest one being yourself.

      If you want to quote bible verse and call this man a sinner and adulterer then feel free. But, doesn’t that make you a hypocrite? Is it your place to judge him? I don’t think so.

      The bible says we shall fear our heavenly father, and honor our father and our mother. Where in the bible does it say that we should reward our children for dishonor and cursing? Oh, yeah…it doesn’t. I must’ve missed the “Crazy Person’s holier than thou” version.

      In fact, of all the comments on this blog yours is probably the most offensive because you USE Christ as a platform for your own arrogance. As if you, sir, have never committed sin. Sheesh…you make me sick. You, of all people, should ask for forgiveness for having pridefully flaunted Holy scripture to pass judgement on another person.

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  280. Mr. Jordan
    First of all, I’m a 18 year old boy from Denmark. To be quite honest with you, I think that the whole laptop-punishment was the only appropriate course of action, and that’s coming from a guy, who lives in a country with laws against hitting children, including disciplinary spanking. If nothing else, being raised should be about learning when to speak your mind and when to hold your tongue. Otherwise we would all end up talking out of line to a police officer, which is not the way should go. If nothing else, etiquette should be the one common virtue of adults and this was a very valid way of achieving that, though maybe a little potent.
    However, I think you might be a little too criticising when it comes to Dr. Phil. What he does is not publicly humiliating the guests on his show. Quite frankly, I think it’s just the opposite. He shows two important things, 1; how bad things can go if you don’t have connection with your children, and 2; how to handle those types of situations. And always keep in mind, that the guests on his show are not being forced to get public counselling. They make that decision themselves.
    In any event, I think it was the right call, even down to the part where you put it on the internet. In your shoes, I would regret nothing.
    Sincerely,
    Sebastian Møller Mortensen

    • Thank you very much Sebastian for your sincere and eloquent support. Younger people like yourself give me hope for the future of our generations!

  281. what he said about how since you’ve already blown up her laptop what will you do when she breaks curfew or gets a ticket made me think about what my parent did, now i never did anything like your Daughter but i have done my share of stupid things but my parent both served in the military for some time and when i did something disrespectful or just plain stupid instead of grounding me had to do a series of PT exercises, they were never extreme or bone crushing but i still didn’t like them so i never did it again. and now i am also physically healthy so it was a good thing that also made me learn my lesson.

  282. I’m military. When my first son was 3-4 years old we smoke his butt in the front yard on Ft. Rucker. You wanna get the point across to a 4 year old? Make him do cherry pickers for 2 min. You know good and well they could do that for hours on end and never get tired, but when it’s punishment…oh those arms start hurting so bad.

    That child is now 9 years old. And guess what, he’s the most respectful, kindhearted kid I know. He will do anything for us, and he helps out with his younger (5 y/o) brother without us having to ask.

    The only fault I can find in your approach is that you waited too long to escalate the punishment. I wouldn’t have put up with the first post, let alone any subsequent posts…but eventually you did what every parent would have done. Take the laptop away. Good on you man! I’m glad to see that America is misrepresented in the media as being a touchy feely tree hugging society. Down here in Texas, we’re still kicking it “old fashioned” with you NC!

  283. Mr. Jordan,
    I have taken the time to watch the videos, read the responses, and read enough of the comments to get annoyed. I am now 19 years old but when I was younger my parents and their parenting were very similar to you and yours. I knew cleary their expectations of me and the consequences of misbehaving were clear to me years before I was 15. When I was bad I was restricted, grounded, spanked, and when I acted way to big for my britches I got slapped a few times. However, I was in no way abused, it caused no permanent damage, and looking back I thank my parents for giving me a clear head and a respectful mouth. In my opinion how you reacted to the situation and the events that followed were by far more rational and effective than I think many parents’ would have been. I hope that valuable lessons and constructive conversation have come from this whole media frenzy from both sides regardless of their personal parenting techniques. They have theirs and you clearly have yours and thats great that you didnt need a Dr. to do it for you as everyone else shouldn’t either. Best wishes to you and your family, Sir. Have a great day.
    D. Kissinger

  284. You are the greatest father who ever lived. Anybody who insults you for blowing your kid’s computer to pieces obviously has never put up with what you had to with your daughter.

    On that note, I think you still went way too easy on her. In my mind you have to EARN your parents’ love, and anybody who insults and shames their parents on Facebook does not deserve their love or anybody’s.

    I love what you said on Facebook about having “two to three kids depending on how you count them,” because if I experienced your Facebook episode with my daughter, I would not count her as my kid for a second. My first son was a lot like Hannah, and one day he decided he just couldn’t stand me and my rules and punishments anymore. I kicked him out of my house when he was 15, and I have never once thought about him again. He is no longer a member of my family, I do not miss him, and if he ever does show his face around me again, I will turn him away, with help from the law if necessary.

    • Bob, while I appreciate the sentiment, I think you and I come from two very different sides of the parenting angle. Once kids become of an age – old enough to give respect – they’re also old enough to be given respect, and yes they earn it, but not by doing anything overly difficult. Just showing respect through daily actions and the way they interact with others is all I ask. Having said that, my daughter slipped… had a really really bad day and slipped. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t normally respect us and others; just that it didn’t shine through that particular day.

      Love on the other hand, is another thing entirely. No one earns love. I didn’t fall in love with my wife because she earned it, nor vice versa. It’s just something you give freely. I love my kids because they’re my kids; because God saw fit to grace me with them and they’re mine. It’s ingrained in me and it’s unconditional and it will always be there. There may be moments in my life that I’m forced to admit that I don’t “like” them very much at one point or another in time, but I’ll never ever even for a second not love them with all my heart.

      I hope I never have to make the hard choice to let a child go because they can’t live under my rules in my house, but if that day ever comes, the door will always be open for them to come back. Many kids do that throughout life. I even did it when I was growing up. I moved out at 15 years old and lived with someone else because I wanted it “my way” instead of my parents’s way. I’m lucky I wasn’t harmed by that experience. Lots of kids would have been. I was exposed to a lot of things kids that age shouldn’t be. But…. I always knew my parents were there. They didn’t want to let me go, but they did, probably against their own better judgment. However I know for a fact if I’d wanted to come home, for whatever reason, they’d have welcomed me with open arms. I love my kids more than anything and whether or not I might be overly old-fashioned or strict on some things… they’re the only ones I have and I’ll always love them and be here for them.

      • OMG… Love for your children is NOT earned it is given unconditional. Thank you Tommy for your reply on this. It is no wonder his son left and has yet to return. Children should never have to earn their parents love. What kind of parents did “Bob” have, in order for him to believe that a parents love must be earned?????

      • You know, it actually feels really good to read that from you in response to the other man’s emotional detachment approach. It’s a nasty stereotype, but I see more and more people my age (twenties) who validate the belief that in general, Americans are quick to kick children out of their home, or otherwise detach themselves emotionally from their sons and daughters as if they did not spend several years with them. Many of my friends come from single parent houses, from residences full of domestic violence and abuse, and the worst part is, these people represent a slew of races (white/black/asian/et cetera) and social classes (rich, middle, low). This seems to indicate to me that, barring stress from other societal factors, something is seriously wrong with our culture.

        People like you, however, remind me that there are some loving parents in this country, and that Africans/Asians do not have a monopoly on strong families genuinely held together by love.

        -MAC.

  285. Mr. Jordan I’m 17 years old and my parents did the same kind of parenting. if i was bad or disrespectful i got my ass beat, put in the corner till my legs were tired and rubbery from standing, and yea i got some things tooken away like game system, hanging out with friends, and got extra chores to do. if my parents never have done that i would be a ungrateful, smart mouth little son of a bitch today, but instead they did the right thing by laying a hand on on me, no they didnt beat me till i was black and blue but i got the point after they were done, that oh wait a minute what i done was childish and stupid ill never do it again. and there is no perminant damage, im not retarted or anything, i completely agree with your methods and response. except for one thing, im a piro maniac so i would have used gas and matches not a 45. since my child hood ive grown up and now im a volunteer fire man in my home town in illinois, and im proud. if my parents chose the dr. phil method i wouldnt be a firefighter, i would either be in jail or dead. other kids my age drink, get high, or knock up a girl. when my friends say hey blake lets go get drunk! yea yeah go a head dumb ass ill be the one diggin you out of a ditch at 3 a.m. cuz you were to drunk to drive, and thats all because of what method my parents did! i thank, and love my parents,and i to belive in the “jordan method”

  286. Mr Jordan,

    First I would like to say I agree with what you did in the video with your daughters laptop. Second, I would like to say great responce to Dr. Phil. He exploits the problems of people across the nation for the entertainment of others just like many of the other talk shows out there. Third, I would like to say I have been chastizedfor my old fashioned form of punishment on my children as well as cheered for it all in the same situation. For example, one of my children stole something from a local store and when I found out (on the way to the car) my husband and I marched her right back into the store and asked for the manager and the head of security. At the time she was like 7 years old and we made her tell them that shehad stolen from their store in front of everybody and she had to appologize and promise to never do it again. We had one lady tell us that if more parents did things like that then kids would not be running around stealing from people and we had another lady tell us just a second latwer that our daughter would grow up to hate us and probably try to kill us in our sleep. Now as it turns out our daughter (now 11) will tell all her friends before we take them someplace that if they steal something that we (her parents) will not only call their parents but we will have their parents meat up with us in the locations managers officer or security officce which even the case may be. We have also asked our daughter if she hates us for doing that to her in the store and she said no and she also replies to us that it has never happened again and she has never stolen or even tried to steal something ever again. So, I agree with you that the old fashion way works much better than the new fanggled way of doing things and I plan on sticking with the old way like you.

    Now on the respect thing. I am 32 and have 5 chldren, my husband is 36 and we got married 12 years ago. Our first child together was born in 2001 and my oldest daughter in 1998. I was born and raised up north and was not made to say ma’am or sir to anyone and my husband was born here in NC and WAS raised that way. However, when it came to our children I was completely against making them say it, but my husband made some great arguments, so I reluctanlty agreed. However, after the past 12 years not only are my children respecting people with ma’am and sir, but so am I after hearing it for 12 years it was bound to rub off. Now, I havealways thought my kids were respectful, but rotten at the same time. I say this because I have had my fair share of issues out of them, but the other day we were at the laundromat down the road (since the two year old took a bite out of the rubber seal on the front of my washer……lol) and this lady was there just watching us. I thought it was kind of wiered but brushed it off since I was there to protect them, and right before we were ready to leave she finally spoke to me about my kids. I thought that they had been a little too excited while we were there and I had to tell them more than once to calm down, but to this lady they were very very well behaved children. She said they worked hard to help me with the laundry and they were very respectful (and yes they were) and they were just all in all some great kids and in fact the best behaved kids she had ever seen in a public setting. They didn’t fight or bicker with eachother and they never once disrespected me. I was astounded by the words this lady was using about my kids, it just completely amazed me. It even amazed me even more when she said they had worked so hard for the 3 hours we were there that she gave them some money to get a snack and a drink out of the vending machine for their hard work. i always thought that my kids were good kids, but I never realized that they were that good. I may just be off my rocker (not trying to copy your words…..lol) but I thought I was not doing as good of a job as this lady was telling me I was. See, my kids are a bit more challenging then most. I have a child with aspergers syndrome, one with ADHD, and the two year olf is losing his hearing, so as you can imagine it makes for a very exciting household. But, i am doing a good job and never truly realized it. So, back to the respect. You and my husband are both spot on and very right in instilling this into the children of this generation. I regret ever going against him on it and I am glad that I did give in. You are just another person that has proven it to be the better option for the kids. Thank you for doing what you did in putting this on the internet. Yes, it did go viral, but had it not have gone viral then parents would not be checking themselves to see if they are doing the best by their kids. I know I have and I am proud to say that I am a NC mom that cares if her kids have respect and I care that they grow up to be productive and proper members of a real society.

    As for the laptop, kids today are way to dependent on technology and by shooting her laptop now she has to be more creative in what she spends her time doing. I know your daughter will never grow up to resent and in fact I bet she will look back on this as an adult and more than likely use it if her future children ever do something similar. Great Job and never let anyone tell you that you that you don’t know what your doing and you are a great dad. I remember when all of my kids were born and I don’t ever remember delivering an instruction manual with any of them. It is all trial and error and you have proven that the true southern and old fashioned ways of rearing a child are the better options and my husband is right next to you with that. Man, I love southern men. God Bless you and your Family and good luck to your daughter on getting the money for a new laptop.

    Thank You
    Liz

  287. I am 17, 8 months untill I am 18, and I can say that in my time, yes my dad did spank me, and yes he has taken my stuff away, such as my truck, my computer, and my guitars for stuff he said was wrong, and I approve of what you did. Even though my parents wouldn’t nessicerily shoot my laptop, or my guitars, I wouldn’t put it past my dad, if I pulled that stunt that your doughter did, and I would deserve it if he did. I do think that Dr.Phill needs to get his story staight, before he goes, and tries to publicly hummiliate your family like that, that is disrespectful, and really uncalled for. If you wanted the help you would have asked for it, but that’s besides the point. What I am getting at is that, what you did was not wrong by any means, and if I was in your shoes, I would have probobly done the same thing. I hope that you read this, because what you did was not abuse, and you was raised exactly the way my dad raised me. I always take my hat off when I walk into a building, unless it’s my own house, I always try to hold the door for women, and I say sir and mam, when speaking to older people. If you read this please respond, I would like to see what you have to say.

  288. Mr.Jorden I respect and what you did i am 14 living on a farm and i have to chores twice as hard but do i ever complain my dad will yell at me in public if I do anything bad you are a hero my dad and parents respect you dr.phil had no rights to do that he was just being plain dumb.at 16 I will move out you are a public figure,who needs to be heard and clearly you have you have your punishment fit the crime my dad would of did the same thing thank, you for everything you shown me that my dads not the only stricted parent and dr. phil had no right to say anything about.Surely he does not know you and and hes calling you mouthy look at him he’s the one to talk i liked dr.phil but lost alot of respect for him and gained alot of respect for you you should have your own show.

    Sincerly, Taha

  289. I completely agree with the tactics that were chosen by Tommy. I can remember getting my hide tanned everywhere from the grocery store to the church parking lot if I acted up. Even now im 21 years old and in the military making it on my own, but if I say something that my momma doesnt like she will still hang me out to dry publically if that just so happens to be the location of the event. I guess one could argue that I dont have much life experience but I’ll tell you what it made me a more respectful and aware individual. everything you do has a cost and when the time comes that I get married and have kids, I will be raising them the way I was raised and NOT by how society thinks they should be raised. DR. Phil is making the parents of today’s youth dumber as to how they should raise their kids and its going to snowball into a bunch of disrespectful, lazy, want everything handed to them because they think they are “entitled” to it little brats. so I guess what im really trying to say is if your kid needs an a** whoopin, by all means straighten them out ON YOUR OWN dont go cry to a “has been” shrink on TV.

  290. oh my god…. really. It’s abuse not to let your child have a damn laptop?! i must really be abused because I rarely can get on the computer! And i love what you did Tommy!

  291. Honestly The only thing I disagree with you on Tom is shooting the laptop, that’s a pretty violent act even if it is an immanent object. I think that was the really big issue and the reason the video went viral.

    Couldn’t you have donated it to someone? Maybe give it to the ‘cleaning lady’?

    But that’s just me I’m big on not wasting things.

    Anyway I like your rebutle, it was very tactful and straight forward.Nice work.

    • I can respect that. My answer to that is here among the blog pages or Facebook posts, but it would take forever to find it. lol. Thanks for the support on the Dr. Phil thing.

    • Found it…

      “I didn’t donate it for the same reason I didn’t smash it with a hammer. I promised her what would happen if she did the same thing again. She did it. I kept my word… to the very letter that I promised. No more. No less.”

      Awesome.

  292. Outstanding. I just came across this story today (as I do not watch TV) but I have to say you are right on. I am from Brazil and got the similar principles you got from your parents.
    Fully agree and support what you did.
    Amazing legacy. I wish more parents were like you.

  293. I’m a 28 year old mother of 3, My daughter is 6 ,My oldest son will be 4 on Dec.1, and my youngest is 2. My daughter says yes mam and sir,and my oldest son has already learned to hold the door not only for women but for ANYONE going in or coming out. They clean up there own rooms,and with the exception of working the washer and dryer,my daughter can fold and put away her own laundry. I’m a firm believer in disciplining my children,by spanking,and or no tv,no play time inside or out. I do believe that when you get to the teen years, there are other measures to use rather than spanking, such as A BULLET IN THE LAPTOP !! I know that I’m still young, but I also notice the lack of respect children hold not only for there parents but for adults in general,I simply wont tolerate it in mine. That flick to the head you mentioned above from your father ,I’m a girl and i have received a few of those myself.. taught me a lot! I respect Dr.Phil and his work,but i must say I rarely agree with his child rearing advice.You Keep up the good work DAD !!

  294. I’m not sure if you still monitor this blog, as my son says it has been quite a while since your original video posting, but, I just saw your video, Dr. Phil’s interview, and read your rebuttal posted above. I just wanted to say that I, as a father of three boys myself, think that the way you handled this situation was PERFECT! If my children acted as your daughter did, I would have reacted similarly. I think your above posted rebuttal, is well thought out, and dead on the mark! Dr. Phil is a pampas ass, and his views on parenting have done more damage to the American family, than anything else has in modern history. Keep your head held high sir, and take solace in the fact that your daughter is being raised right, like you and I were raised. I only wish that the good “Doctor” hadn’t ruined so many parents of our generation with his ridicules nonsense!

  295. Tommy, I had seen what happened months ago with your daughter . I am just finding this post. I am a daily watcher of Dr. Phil and have always respecte4d most of what he has done on the show, especially in the end when he offers certain help to people. I am 66 yrs. old and was brought up in a moderately liberal family. My Dad’s spanking was a slap on the hand. I must say though that I agree with you on destroying the lap top since she was warned and acted very disrespectful. I also admire how you addressed Dr. Phil and what you said. I am sorry for all that you and your family have been through, but it sounds like you are bringing up you daughter to respect others, be responsible for helping in the family, and think about the consequences of her actions.. .. something Dr. Phil talks about all the time. He was wrong on this one and you were right. Just wanted you to know. Keep up the good work.

  296. hey tom i think u r a good father and a really good father and u did the best u can do for your doughtier but what ever she said on facebook that was really messed up….

  297. Mr. Jordan, I have just recently come across your original video, I know that it has been almost a year since you posted it. I was raised by a single father and our relationship when I was a teen was slightly turbulent as its best. He spanked me, grounded me and took away my computer just as you have stated above in your blog. My dad had his hands full with me. Today I am 27, a lawyer (employed), living on my own and completely self-sufficient. My dad is very proud of me and I am grateful for all that he taught me because it made me who I am today. Saying all that I agree with you and your actions. I’ve been in your daughter’s shoes before, and I know that one day she will come to understand what you are teaching her and why she needs to learn it. And I know that she will be grateful to you all the more for it.
    I’m not sure if you still read this blog but I hope you get this message and keep up the good work.

  298. Tommy Jordan your tactics of parenting are perfect. I think what you did was exactly what she deserved and F*@K Dr. Phil for telling you how to be a parent. You sir are obviously doing fantastic for yourself

  299. Doctor Phil has no listens to practice because he had a affair with a 19 year old patient and then hired her. His 1st wife said he was over bearing abusive. One of his suns married a Hugh Hefner playmate lover. He is not the most solid ice to be standing on so to speak if you look at the things in his past. But sometimes it takes a thief to catch a thief meaning he may have some good advice because he knows the behaviors because he is guilty of the behaviors himself.

  300. Hi, I’m a 20 year-old college drop-out. Great first sentence right? Anyways, I just wanted to throw out there that since I saw this video long ago, I had wished I was raised that way. I have a job now, work my butt off everyday to get by, and I never really knew what was coming for me in the real world. I was an entitled little brat, and had I had a wake up call such as this I might still be in college, I may have been a more responsible person. To be entirely honest I almost threw my own life away when I went off to college. I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t responsible, I wasn’t well enough disciplined. I’m about to enroll into a community college, which is great, but I would have been better off with where I was in the first place. I hope your daughter understands how lucky she is to have such a great dad.

  301. Tommy Jordan, sir u remind me of my father. when i was a kid he would spank me/slap me, he would take me to street and make me cried out ‘sorry’ and apologize to people i stole from or kids i hit lol. and he would flick my ear so i address people corectly. now i always tell people how great my father coz how he was and how he can make me the way i’am now. i’m 35 now, working as an IT for some tech company, have a little home bussines, with a beautiful wife & 3 kids. and i survive the apocalypse!
    I’ll stand with you sir! good day.

  302. Apparently Mr Phil removed both those linked pages from his site. I must ask if he was scared of the criticism, which he so blazenly provided to you

  303. It’s been awhile since you posted your video, but I just saw the interview with Dr. Phil and I completely agree with you that most of what he said contradicted just about everything he advertises. Also my parents never had to ground me, but I’m sure they would have if they had to or punish me by taking away luxuries like tv, Internet, and my iPod.
    I also have a question did Dr. Phil ever reply to your blog, and if he did can you send me the link I’d really like to read it.

  304. i think you did the right thing and dr.phil just got proven that plp voted they felt you did the right thing-dr.phil didnt like getting showed up

  305. Wish we could put him in his place! I know that is impossible but at least we can say what we feel about the narsasistic son of a bitch!!

  306. Many people say he went to far by shooting her computer. I think he did the right thing. As he said; she can buy herself a new one one day. He was trying to make her responsible for her mistake, and make her respect her parents. It’s not right to post something that private online, specially about your own parents, who gave you life and a home to live in.

  307. Dr. Phil? Let’s see, when he raises the dead, makes the blind see, and dies for my sins after getting his fucking ass whupped for days, and we start to reneg Christ and become a Philstian then you’ll be as perfect as Christ. But you sir, in my eyes, are a fucking moron who made your way to fame by sucking the Oprah cock.

  308. Mr. Jordan, my name is Brad Merkling, I am twenty years old sir. The woman I have been dating for 2 years now has a nephew that is 7 and has temper worse than a bull at the PBR. Myself, my girlfriend, her mother, and Josh, (that’s my girlfriends nephew by the way.) went out to lunch after church about 2 months ago or so. I don’t know what put this child in the mood he was in but for a 7 year old this kid has a lot of anger problems. Halfway through lunch this kid starts asking his grandmother if he can do a bunch of stuff. I don’t remember what they were I wasn’t paying attention. But she kept telling him no in a calm manner. All of sudden he starts getting mad. Next thing I know this 7 year old boy stands up on the table and starts throwing his food everywhere and screaming. Before his grandmother can react he starts running around knocking and kicking stuff down all over the restuarant. (I’m just going to refer to her as my mother-in-law.) My mother-in-law starts telling him to stop. What happened next is why I’m leaving this comment. When she told him to stop, he ran up to her and I swear on my grandmothers grave and Jesus Christ himself, punched my mother-in-law in the face. Then proceeded to start kicking her. At that point I had enough. I got out of my chair, picked this 7 year old boy up, bent him over my knee, took off my leather belt and gave him 7 lashes right in the middle of the restuarant. This got him to stop real quick. This occured about 11 months after seeing your video dealing with your daughter and the whole Facebook thing. Since then, my soon to be nephew has not spoken to me, Which I can’t get since I whipped him in public but it hurts because I actually like the kid. He just doesn’t know how to respect other people. Now his mother is more than pissed with me and I’ve had quite a few people go half and half whether they agree or disagree with what I did. When I was that age, I would’ve gotten the same punishment, maybe even worse, Depending on what I did and where we were. (Me and my folks by the way.) So if a child that I claim responsibility for is going to pull some crap like this, you can bet how I’m going to handle it. My question to you sir is this, even though my girlfriend and I are not yet married, and by the way this is her blood related nephew, I have spent more time devoted to this child in 2 years than his mother ever has. Were my actions not justified for what this boy did? I’m not lookin for approval of the right to just whip a child or my soon to be nephew whenever they’re causin trouble. But believe me, for him to assault his grandmother like that, you better believe I’m going to dish out a punishment. I would just like to get some input from you sir. I do hope you read this and respond sir. Have a blessed day Mr. Jordan sir.

  309. Mr. Jordan needed to get the point across. Did that not happen? Hannah is lucky she has a dad/parents that aren’t quite so consumed with the facade of monetary importance as they are with potent parenting. I believe Dr. Phil, a man full of sound advice, was thrown, quickly, into having to make a public stance on a controversial issue. He more than likely did not have the same full arsenal of details and/or the creativity on the situation. Whatever side we choose to peck at… at least it got the masses reconsidering fundamental nurturing/fostering that, in today’s society is M*U*C*H needed!

  310. Mr.Jordan,
    I am currently pregnant with my first child due any day now, and I would just like to say how relieved I am that there are parents like you in the world today. I too disagree with Dr.Phil, his response to your FB post, and his idea of how YOU should parent your child. Your daughter needed to be taught a lesson and in my opinion her punishment fit the crime! Kudos to you for parenting job well done!!!

  311. Mr. Jordan, let me say first, that you inspite of the extreme choice you made to discipline your daughter, i agree with it due to the her actions. I believe it was something you did out of necessity, not out of fun, as you appear very much distraught over having to do so…you’re a father, it’s natural having to do it, but it’s still gonna have a bad taste on your mouth.

    Now the thing here, that i believe was your mistake, was posting it online. Here’s the reason: by putting up such a video with this kind of material (you adressing your daughter’s fault and shooting her laptop), it’s an internet phenomenon that draws in all the people that it did, especially due to the sensitive nature of the topic. While your reaction may have been more than justified, by putting it in such a public, long-lasting medium, you opened the privacy of your family household to judgement, scrutiny and reactions from a nationwide audience, which is something no one should do. While your daughter’s post may have met the eyes of several people, yours met the world’s eyes.

    It would have been a better choice to just shoot the laptop in front of her, or maybe shoot it and leave it on her bedroom with the copy of her posts and a note from you. It would convey the message and keep your family’s privacy intact. By posting this online, you’ve made one of the most common mistakes in current society (and something especially done by the younger generation), which is to post everything online, from random to highly private. By doing the same yourself, you basically admited that it’s ok to do so, which is not right.

    I would like you to bear in mind that i an not dismissing or demeaning your parenting skills. Hell if i had a daughter who did the same thing, i’d tear her laptop…maybe with a sledgehammer, since i don’t own a gun, but i would not expose my family’s private affairs on such a medium as Facebook or the Internet in general. If you Mr. Jordan ever come across this, i wish you luck with you and your family.

  312. You are right on!! My parents raised me this way..taught me hard work and always consequences for my actions. I am sick of the entitled and pampered attitude that is plaguing the kids today. I work hard to raise my 6 kids the way I was raised.

    What people do NOT understand is that by giving consequences to kids actions teaches them that they are loved and that we actually care how they turn out! It is difficult to discipline and teach principles and values, but it is worth it when you see a kid growing up that was taught right, having respect for themself and others.
    I love my parents for not buffering me from natural consequences and for working hard to teach me whats right and wrong.
    So once again, Way to go! I am sorry you went viral without meaning to, but It sends an important message to the world so thank you!

  313. How much man are you really without a gun. Everybody is able to scare there kids with a gun. I my eyes you just little coward, who need a gun to raise a kid (Teen). “What a great father”

    It’s not OKAY to abuse kids, and its not making you a big mand because you can abuse kids

    But when it comes to what you said about Dr.Phil, i have to agree.

    • First off, his daughter was warned from a previous similar incident that if it were to happen again that he would shoot her laptop. That being said, this was NOT a scare tactic, it was justified accountability.

      More importantly, please point out where in this whole situation was the child abuse? Because there was NO point in their situation did he abuse his daughter in any way/shape/form.

      So, before you attack this father, THINK about what it is that you are actually saying. Opinions are welcome, but please make them intelligent.

      ~J Russ. And yes, I am a father.

      • Hi,
        why we criticize the father? Why we do not ask if we do all wrong to moralize about how to treat our children. When you become a parent you undertaking BIG BIG responsibility and you are constantly in alert that your child is at the right path. As Mr Russel say her father warned her, and she push him to the edge. This was his way to discipline her to let her know I supply to you the items, I am responsible for you and the items, and the way you use it. I agree that less meddling of these people like Dr Phill whom need you people and jump on any opportunity that bring him five minutes of fame or better more MONEY he just want you and more of you. I too stopt my daughter go late at night to cheer for rock group even their manager offered them some money to turn out, and greet them, all fabrication. What I told her then she still remember after 20 od years that we ordinary people put them on pedestal, and when they obtain even a little fame what they do for Thank you who placed them there where they are ? All those actors and musician even do not oblige the working man that his existence rely on their photos. Why young people do not realise these that in all we all are use, and her father in frustration find his way to give her awakening. You was right, and every parents is right one or other way to discipline their children.
        Regard Eva

    • you sir/ or madam are an idiot its not abuse and phill is an idiot as well he bought the damn laptop he can do with it what he wills its his money and i would have done the same thing you apparently are a kid due to the fact that your posting is acting like a kid who dose nothing but stays on their laptop/or desktop all day and has no life so quit trying to say that he is an abusive father because your wrong we need more parents like him now days because if we dident we wouldent have so many kids blowing people up or shooting them perients need to stop talking and start wooping their kids asses talking solves nothing but makes kids worse i grew up with my dad wooping me when i did something wrong and ive never been to jail and never been in trouble with the law and im a respectful man… so thank you and have a nice day :)

  314. I’m not a parent yet, but because I was brought up traditionally I’ve always believed in the old fashioned way of bringing up children. I don’t think parents are supposed to be as worried about placating their children as they should be about preparing them for the future. 15 years old is definitely old enough to understand that there are consequences for actions taken and decisions made. I do understand that there are some parents out there who do not see the difference between discipline and gratifying their own need to release some rage. However, I do not think this is one of those cases. Disciplining children does not qualify as any kind of abuse, and facing what has been called “public humiliation” is something children need to learn to deal with as they live their lives. Parents prepare children for the future by letting them know that in life there are consequences for their bad behavior. I believe that children who have been brought up to respect not only their parents but also other people grow up to become people who are respected themselves someday. To me, the measure of a person doesn’t lie in things like money or having everything they want. It comes from what kind of person you are. Parents have it tough because no loving parent wants to see their child unhappy. Children have a difficult time seeing how hard it is for parents to discipline their children because the more immature we are the more difficult it is to see past our own unhappiness to the unhappiness of those who care about us. I honestly hope that in the near future your daughter will understand your reasons for what you did. After all, learning to be responsible and respectful is all a part of maturing. :)

  315. Pingback: Respect is a Two Way Street | The Single Parent Perspective Test

  316. Dear Mr. Tommy Jordan *WARNING THIS COULD BE CONSIDERED A MONOLOGUE*

    I’ll start off and admit that I’m a thirteen year old (a month and five days later, I’ll be 14. Woot Woot!), and I agree with what you did. If I, a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD, agree with this man, many should also. I absolutely abhor punishments and wish to be a lax adult when I grow up, but when someone or, in this case, a fifteen year old girl disrespects their superiors in any way, shape, or form, they must be remind why said person is their superior in the first place. She disrespected by simply thinking of doing this, and on top of that, she openly disrespected him in the letter. She wronged her father twice in one swing. I do believe retribution was in order.

    *HALT HERE OR CONTINUE ON IN YOUR LITERARY JOURNEY*

    In my household, respect is paramount, and if you have a problem with showing the due amount, we don’t associate with you. But what really got me all revved up was how she complained about her chores. Like seriously, bringing up chores in an ANY argument against a parent is a very useless thing, and I really detest whiners. I, alone on a daily basis, have to take out both of my dogs in the morning, evening, and at night, occasionally wash dishes (including pots, pans, etc.), make up my bed every morning before school, take out my trash, take my medication less I want to be a spastastic airhead for a day, and do the tasks assigned in that blasphemous environment, commonly dubbed as *insert shudder here* ‘school’. Occasionally, I’ll help with dinner if I’m finished up my school work early, but because I’m in the 8th grade, I rarely help out now, so when I have a “small” amount homework, I relish in helping out nowadays. Every weekend, I do my own laundry, wash the towels, rags, and mats that we use in the bathrooms, clean my bathroom, clean my room, sweep the kitchen floor, and vacuum the living room, dining room, my bedroom, and the upstairs hall-like area. The best part is that those are ONLY the FORMAL tasks. I also make sure my mother eats something. *(Brief summary of my mother: A loving woman who gave birth to 3. Her first husband was a police officer and had 2 girls with her, my absolutely awesome sisters. Her first husband was KIA or Killed In Action. Then, she met my actual and current father, and then I was born. My second sister was born March 20th and EXACTLY ten years later on that day, I was born. How many people can say they gave someone a birthday present the minute they were born? But before I was born, she adopted a boy, who is now my beloved brother. They’re all in college now.)* My mother, bless her soul, is suspected to be part fish because she would literally only drink water for most of her “meals”. My mother is also a lawyer and a workaholic. Being a lawyer already takes a lot out of you as is, but combined with her workaholic attitude, it equals pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion. I have to force to go to bed and even go so far as to unfold a blanket, get some pillows, and make a bootleg futon right there on the carpet and sleep there with her just to make sure she doesn’t try to do anymore work. Worst yet, my mother had a brain tumor, but we found it in its early stages and had it treated. During the process, to say I was paranoid would be like saying the Sun *(Do you capitalize the word “sun”? Like I can spell and use the term “abhor” properly, but doesn’t know whether to capitalize a noun or not. It’s so trivial, but it nags me. Anyways, I digress)* is only lukewarm at best. I won’t even consult the “death list”. But even with these duties, my stuff even seems to pale in comparison to your double jobs and high school/college hybrid lifestyle. I give respect where respect is due, and you, sir, practically demand enough to dwarf Mount Everest three times over.

    Sincerely, Georgia’s Most Witty Black Boy, Steven Shaw
    P.S Feels weird that I can type such a post but can’t write an essay.
    P.P.S Can someone rate my grammar on this if they read through it?

  317. Even I still battle wit two cultures, I can’t understand that people
    willingly letting these TV show moguls to interfere. Even it sound so good that Dr. Phil arrange and pay all expenses for consoling actually
    letting many people meddle and in overall make worse. Once someone is
    with week attitude to the life around them, and just complicate their life for themselves and for others. What you did you did in good intention and meaning to give insight to your daughter what she can
    expect late in life when it will more hurt her like to take from her
    own father. Just compare the animal word. Even the domestic cat give a whack to the young one. Too many interference there where is not needed, but we neglect those that need the attention most, and cope hard life with mentally ill or sadistic people. Dr. Phil do not care of no one only of him self to pile up his coffers, cleverly enough he
    give bit here and there to look good, good on him when he can these way control masses, this is all that matter to all celebrities to live on us simple people that trust them and adore them even they do not know WHY? Are we can be so easy manipulated, just think of it!

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