Federal Wage Hike – Running the numbers… or from them.

I’m going to share a few personal thoughts about this proposed wage hike that some of you may or may not agree with, but that I feel needs to be stated in simple terms. It amazes me that the entirety of congress, both GOP and Democrat alike, as well as the President and a special budget committee just managed to realize something that most 8 year-olds grasp when they learn the basics of operating a piggy bank.

Today, after what I’m sure cost us taxpayers a few million dollars, a report was delivered to Congress that states in simple terms that if the federal government institutes a mandated minimum wage hike to $10.10, that some people will make more money but others will be left without jobs. Dear Lord… it took a congressional budget committee to figure this out? The smartest people in this country (ok, apparently not) paid to have a study conducted and a report created to tell them something my dirt-farming ancestors figured out with no formal education. In fact, the dilemma is as old as the concept of money itself, yet our government thinks it can “mandate” a way to fix it. The pomposity and blind ignorance of the concept simply amazes me.
What simply kills about this report is the inability (or refusal) to use the same mathematics across the report. For example, the report states that the plan to raise minimum wage to $10.10 per hour should raise approximately 900,000 people out of the poverty level, out of a pool of about 45 million. Later they switch from raw numbers to percentages, to fractions. lol. Obviously basic math is beyond these people so you’d think they’d at least agree on a format for financial expressions to keep things simple. Let’s ignore the 45 million part for a moment and read some of the other conclusions from the report, shall we?
A few paragraphs after what I mentioned above you find the budget office that prepared this figure admits the mandatory raise of wages to employees across the country, “would likely range from a very slight employment reduction to a loss of 1 million workers.
Wait a minute. We’re not all smart folks where I come from and we certainly don’t have degrees in economics, but let me put those two sentences together into one thought, ok?
Raising minimum wage to $10.10 across the board for everyone will bring almost 1 million people out of poverty, but will cost about 1 million people their jobs TOTALLY. (Not a decrease in pay, but they’ll lose their jobs.)
We’re going to add increased pay of about 15% for almost 1 million people, and by doing so totally fire 1 million others. Oh yeah, that’s TOTALLY not stupid. It is me or are these idiots actually considering a mandated redistribution of wealth in the hopes that sheeple will actually be stupid enough to think they meant well when they figure out the truth later? 
Let’s take it even further for a moment, as if the reality isn’t already stupidly obvious  (at least to me, but I’ll get there in a minute.) Jason Furman, the chairman of the White House’s Council of Economic Advisors comes out to say that the job loss figures  [and I quote] “do not reflect the overall consensus view of economists which is that raising the minimum wage has little or no negative effect on employment.”
Wait a minute. You had this report put together, you authorized it, and you BELIEVE the figures about wage changes, but you totally discount your own report when it comes to how many jobs it will cost? Well, if the view from your economists’s chair was so danged omniscient, then you wouldn’t have commissioned the report in the first place. You paid these idiots to put together a report I could have done with a crayon and a flip chart in ten minutes, and then discount the part of it you don’t like?
Let me share a fact or two with you all. Maybe some of you will disagree with me, and that’s your prerogative – as is your prerogative to be wrong, but I’ll attempt to educate you anyway. 
Fact #1: Trying to tell someone that they have to pay someone more for the same work will have absolutely zero net effect on the overall economy, aside from the unilateral and one-to-one ratio of redistribution of assets; a fact so clearly outlined in your own report. Let me make it easier for you to understand, ok?
Scenario A) I have one million dollars a year out of my profits with which to pay my employees to do their jobs. With that one million dollars, which is currently distributed as 20,000 to each employee, I am able to pay 50 people. Follow that math so far? Now you’re going to force me to pay each of them $10.10 per hour. Ok. First, you’ve also increased their income which increases THEIR taxes by a few cents an hour, but let’s forget that. I have to co-pay their social security and medicare, not to mention their newly mandated insurance, and all the other federal and state withholding associated with their pay rate and which are a calculated as a percentage of their wage. So you’ve pushed up my co-pay to about $1.13 cents per hour in additional fees and taxes I have to pay on them, to a total of about $11.13 an hour. Assuming that employee works 40 hours and doesn’t get vacation, their salary now costs me almost $24,000 a year. That doesn’t sound like much does it? Well, it’s not your pocketbook that’s coming out of. It’s mine (pretending the be the the employer here
I [employer] have four options, a fact which Nancy Pelosi is so far removed from reality that she can’t even understand…
Option 1) I raise prices on all my goods or services. Let’s say I own a small businesss, oh wait I do, and I raise prices across the board 1% to cover that new cost. Congratulations you idiots, you just made the American consumer pay my employee’s higher wages by taking that 1% from the instead of me. Dumbass.Socialist much? American’s whine and moan when gas goes up three cents a gallon. We’re already pissed that the same UPS package that used to cost $4.67 three years ago now costs a MINUMUM of $14.76 to ship, a 300% increase in shipping costs! These are the examples of what will happen if minimum wage is cancelled. All the poor people loving the dollar-menu at McDonalds will be pissed because it’s now going to be the $1.50 menu, a net increase of 50% at their expense. I could list tens of thousands of examples, but you get the idea, right?
Option 2) I can simply use less people and make them achieve the same output. This is an accepted theory that has been effectively working since man-kind invented the barter system. Congratulations, we just had a 20% wage increase  folks. Unfortunately I have to fire 20% of you. Now I have $25000 I can pay each person, and I only have 40 employees.
Guess what? That will happen almost every time.
You all got raises because the government said I have to… but they can’t control what I make you do to get that pay, so now you all work 20% harder or I replace you with someone who will.
Great job asshats… you just cost 10 people their jobs and the other 40 got your mandated raise at the cost of more labor being required of them. (Wait, isn’t that what the budget report said was going to happen? Geeze… I guess I’m as smart as an economist now!)
Option 3) Screw that. You’re all fired. You’re no longer employees. Now you are independent contractors. You provide your own insurance, pay your OWN taxes, and I don’t have to worry about anything except workman’s compensation and general liability insurance.
This is what’s been happening the last ten years. It’s just that some if you work in fields that never see it. I know it works great because I get those contracts all the time. If it weren’t for the government putting their hands into business’ financials I wouldn’t have a job. ALL my large contracts are from companies that find it too expensive to pay employees anymore so they laid off their work force and they sub the work out to other companies like mine. Because they DO, companies I work for find cheaper to hire me at $65 an hour only when they need me than to pay you $25 an hour to be a full time employee. It’s a ridiculous concept, but it’s what companies are doing. If they’re large enough to absorb the initial cost hit, they simply go robotic instead and fire every-damned-body. (Look at American manufacturing if you don’t believe me.)
Option 4🙂 I’ll just outsource. Need designers? They’re online for pennies on the dollar. Need manufacturer’s? You can find them for pennies on the dollar as well all over the net. How about  fabricators, seamstresses, programmers, architects, lawyers, consultants,marketing people, etc? They’re ALL cheaper if you outsource.
Why bother paying you all when I can outsource the stuff for cheap. I simply pay one or two people to manage it all for me, and then I keep the rest of the money.
Back to reality
Listen up people… NOTHING CONGRESS CAN DO WILL MAKE YOU MORE MONEY WITHOUT ROBBING SOMEONE ELSE. There’s no way to MAKE money. You can’t mandate higher wages because employers will simply restructure and lay off employees. They’ll fire the expensive ones, and hire younger ones for cheaper. 
Here’s the final nail that really makes me want to run for Congress. “No matter how the critics spin this report, the CBO made it absolutely clear: Raising the minimum wage would lift almost one million Americans out of poverty, increase the pay of low-income workers by $31 billion, and help build an economy that works for everyone,” said House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif.
Holy Crap, really? Forget the fact that they just told you it would cost 1 million other jobs, Nancy. You should have kept your mouth shut if you’re too stupid to do basic math. Yes, you increase jobs by almost 1 million, at the expense of almost 1 million more. These are YOUR facts and YOUR figures, put together by YOUR joint bi-partisan budget committee, who you think is smart enough to put it together but who’s advice you conveniently say is incorrect when it doesn’t suit you? For god’s sake we need smarter politicians. For once the Republicans don’t even have to say anything. They’re just sitting back while people break out calculators and do the math themselves! I love it.
Now, I can’t stand people who just want to whine and moan about the negative without having anything positive to offer. So, let’s weave together a few other recent political hot buttons and see if we can solve them all real fast and actually CREATE jobs.
Obama finally had the sense to say the other day that dang, this global warming thing must be real. Our planet is getting too hot! It actually sunk into his thick head that some of these nationwide droughts might just be due to the fact that it’s getting too damned hot around here.
There ain’t no water because it’s evaporating into our atmosphere and being consumed at a more rapid pace than it can be replenished by mother nature. Wow.. he’s a winner ain’t he?
Again, this is pure physics on a level a retarded Louisiana tater farmer already understands. It gets too dry cause there ain’t no water, ma! Ma, we need more water to make it less dry ’round these parts! (Mark my words, in the next 24 months SOMEONE in the federal government is going to try a national campaign to regulate water usage. At that point in time I’m going outside in my yard, turning on the spigot, and daring someone to come shut if off… but I digress.)
What America needs is MORE money, right?
Ok… you asshats can’t simply make rules that will create more of it, but you CAN make rules that will redistribute it, right? So, put on your thinking caps and try real hard to.. never mind. Hell, I’ll just tell you how to do it. You’re too stupid to do it on your own or you already would have by now.

Here’s how you “make” money in America – you redistribute it from everywhere else we’ve been sending it! For God’s sake how hard is this to figure out?
  • Effective 2015, there is a %15 payroll tax on any employee or contractor hired by a US-based firm that is overseas. That money goes to fund unemployment across all 50 states. (Guess what, it’s now 15% cheaper to hire American labor.)
  • Effective 2015, there is a 15% fee on all non-us citizens on the payroll of companies here in the US. If you want to hire Chinese labor here in the US, rather than the Americans that grew up here, fine, but it costs you more.
  • No more free shit for illegal aliens. The definition of illegal means you’re breaking the law by being here. Get your butt on the boat and go home or we’ll throw you on a barge and ship you out en-masse. (Note: those ships, though powering through international waters, will be staffed by American workers.)
  • We’ve got greenhouse gases causing problems across the planet. How about we innovate new technologies and stop sucking at the teat of the oil and gas industry simply because they pay GOVERNMENT hundreds of millions of dollars in campaign funds. After all, we’re redistributing wealth, so that means it should come from government first – since they sure as hell don’t know what to do with the money they have been collecting thus far. 
  • Why are we NOT building electric cars by the million? Why are we not using magnetized railway systems for mass transportation. There are a couple hundred thousand new jobs, green technologies, AND realistic uses for American manufacturing companies that have been trying to stay afloat but dying by the hundred. Hell, people might even move back INTO Detroit!
  • Manufacturing – penalize US companies that build all their crap in Japan. It’s a FORD damnit, built it here where it was invented. We could use the jobs. 
  • Food – grow it here and stop importing it from everywhere else. There’s a couple HUNDRED THOUSAND jobs right there.
  • Mexican laborers – go labor in Mexico hombre! This is America. When all the American’s have jobs that pay minimum wage or higher, then we’ll hire you. Meanwhile , go fix your drug problems south of the border before we start shooting you on-sight as you approach the fence.
Nancy Pelosi – eat your heart out. I should have your job, but I’d never have it in California, and no one’s running my campaign in NC, so I guess you’re stuck out there looking like an idiot.
Have a good day y’all!



4 thoughts on “Federal Wage Hike – Running the numbers… or from them.

  1. Electric cars and electric trains are all well and good, Tommy. What, though, will power the grid that they have to be plugged into? Current green technology (solar and wind) isn’t sufficient. You’re either going to have to invest in new nuclear power plants or build lots of new fossil fuel power plants, which will defeat the purpose of investing in electric car.

    As for the drug problem in Mexico: the cartels aren’t fighting over who gets to supply Mexicans with drugs, but with who gets to supply *Americans* with drugs. Supply and demand – – and the appetite of Americans for drugs far exceeds the comparatively small appetite of Mexicans. It’s us Americans who should be ashamed that our desire to get fucked up causes our southern neighbors to raise drug crops instead of food crops.

    • Robert,

      You’ll get no disagreement from me on either point. Your first point raises new opportunities for industry, new innovations. As a country we all KNOW that oil is bad… especially since we import it. New nuclear facilities? Sounds like job creation to me – both in manufacturing, staffing, supply industries to support it, etc.

      New fossil fuel plants? Ehh.. not if we can avoid it, and we CAN avoid it if we wanted to bad enough. We’re too busy tickling the fancy of the oil industry. Politicians won’t dare do that because they’d lose all their campaign finance money. Here’s my approach.
      “Dear 50% of America” (assuming I was running for an office with one other candidate)
      “My opponents are raising hundreds of millions from big pharma, big oil, and big other crap. I don’t have a 500-million dollar war chest. Rather than taking their money, I told them to screw themselves. I’m reaching out to America instead. There are 350 million Americans. If half of you agree with the fact that we need change, please donate ONE US DOLLAR to my campaign. If I cant win my seat with your support and 175 million dollars, then I don’t deserve to hold the office I’m running for.

      My sincerest thanks,
      Your common sense candidate, Tommy Jordan”

      On your second argument, you’re right too. Stop making drug use a “it’s his mama’s fault” crime. They just released an article the other day saying a new strand of Herion had killed 80 people due to lethal amounts of Fentanyl in the doses. Dear god, we have to start a campaign now to save the Heroin addicts.. WTF? Really?

      My approach – HELL YEAH! Darwin at work! That’s 80 free seats in the homeless shelter, or 80 gangbangers off the street, or 80 worthless human beings removed from the gene pool without so much as $1 of federal cost. Beautiful news! Can we start putting Fentanyl in the cocaine supply next?

      Call me mean, call me cruel, I really don’t care. I don’t see the need for the US Taxpayer to be wiping the asses of repeat drug-using useless individuals.

      But, on the other hand, stop trying to imprison the drug runners. Stop trying to “use them to get to the source”… start dropping dynamite in the tunnels when you find them, and shooting the ones that cross the fence. There.. immediate and 100% effective method to curb both immigration problems AND drug importation. When Mexican cartels find it continuously HARDER to sell drugs here than in their own country, they’ll go back to screwing up their country and leave ours alone. We call it BORDER PATROL for a reason. If you try to cross the border in other countries, you get shot. Libya, they’ll shoot you. Most anything with “-istan” in the name – they’ll shoot you. Canada, ok, well they aren’t allowed gun, neither is the UK for the most part, but most countries with the capability to defend their borders do so aggressively. Great idea. Great idea! Put up a sign that says “Tresspassers will be shot”…. and then shoot them when they do it. They’ll stop almost immediately… trust me. Think I’m wrong? Fine, try my way for 365 days and if you don’t like the results, go back to the inefficient crap we’ve been trying the last 20 years.

      just a few simple reasons I’ll likely never be elected to Congress….

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