Some of you saw my Facebook post the other day, yesterday I think it was, about me taking a break from Facebook for a bit. Yes, it’s been amidst of the gay marriage and confederate flag controversies, but I think that was just the straw that broke the camel’s back when it comes to my newsfeed.
I figured I’d take a minute just to write, like I used to, about what was on my mind; maybe get back to my “roots” for lack of a better word.
I’ve always liked to write. I’ll likely never be a published fiction author, as much as I wish I could be, but I do enjoy writing. I started this blog after all the YouTube fame as a way to manage communications after Y-Day. (That’s what I call it.. Y-Day.. the day YouTube blew my quiet days of internet surfing out of the water for good.)
Lately, and especially on Facebook, I find myself curtailing my actual thoughts on a subject based on who might read the post. For better or worse, that’s bad to do. A few preachers read my Facebook status updates, so I have to be careful who sees what or I’ll catch hell for it later.
Young kids see my wall, so I have to be Politically Correct or else risk being blamed for ruining the minds of America’s youth. I’ve got news for you: America’s youth is already a mental cesspool of over-indulgent narcissism wrapped up in an everyone-gets-a-trophy-for-participating bubble wrap thanks to the generation of parents that turned out a bunch of entitled little shits rather than focusing on creating America’s next great generation of leaders and innovators, but that’s a whole different post for another day…
Back to the point- Facebook, I’ve come to believe is inherently evil – not by design, but due to peer pressure. No worries. I’m not cancelling my account or anything. I’ll still be there as much as ever, but I’ll do the majority of my writing here – where I own the format, content, and creative processes and am removed from the instant-gratification mindset that permeates social networking.
I post something on Facebook. Someone comments. In five minutes it’s an argument that’s totally non-tangential to anything I originally posted about. I find myself hurrying through replies and comments to try to make a point before the next comment appears. It’s stupid in hindsight, really. The point is, I’m not saying what I WANT to say because I’m too focused on the multi-tasking aspect of keeping track of 46,500 followers and their whimsical conversational threads.
In the end, I know what I meant to say. Others that know me well knew what I meant to say, but if something I wrote could at all be taken in a light that offends someone else, THAT is the light that certain types of viewers choose to see it in and the post deteriorates from there.
So I think I’m done with that for a bit.
I’m going to see if I can go back to the old way I used to write.
Most of you don’t know this because I intentionally segregated myself from my Facebook audience around the time of Y-day, but I used to write a LOT. My old personal blog has 1,290 posts, most in excess of 5-10 pages. Do the math and you’ll see I’ve literally written about a dozen bibles worth of my thoughts and interpretations on the web over the last decade and a half.
I’m over doing that. I’m just going to return to being me.
I’m going to go ahead and keep the 8minutesoffame.com domain name up and going. From now on, that will be my main website for all things blogworthy. I’m just changing it’s purpose. I’ll write reviews on stuff I like, give out a little technical advice here and there, talk about cool gear, discuss and engage viewers on issues such as politics, race, religion, and anything else – but I’ll do it on my terms.
I’m going to spend some time devoted to my hobbies one YouTube, such as survival tactics and gear. I’m going to promote businesses I like, people I respect, and cool stuff I think everyone should have.
I’m just going to do it all in a format that I can control.
I can EMPHASIZE where I want. I can show sarcasm when I want here. All the little nuances of textual conversation are lost on the masses on Facebook, which is an inherent flaw in it’s plain-text design, but a necessary one I understand.
So, in short, if you want to get to know me, ask questions here. I’ll be here.
Fair Warning: Some of you won’t like it.
Another fair waning: I don’t actually care if you like it.
I take the time to write because I want to. I want to express my displeasure about a political situation, or maybe I’ll write because I hope to inspire change in something that’s scouring our nation at the moment. Maybe I’ll jot down a poem. I used to do that a lot actually. I have an entire notebook full of them I wrote over the years, only a few of which I ever published.
Either way, if I use a curse word, it’s not because of a lack of intelligence on my part. It’s because I think it was warranted and maybe because I’m just DAMNED MAD enough that it represents exactly how I feel at the moment. You can choose to read on, close your browser, return, or not.
I will no longer be composing my thoughts to serve anyone else’s perfect idea of the person I should be. It’s not that I don’t care what other people’s opinion of me is. I do, most of the time. It’s that the entire point of writing something for others to read is to be true to yourself, not pander to what someone else thinks you should be.
I’ll give you a good example; one that’s come up as a point of contention on Facebook previously; the word “retarded.”
I like the word “retarded.” I’ve used it since I was a kid to describe something that’s not quite crazy, and not quite stupid, but somewhere in between. I’ve been using it since BEFORE it was used to describe people with mental deficiencies.
Here’s a history lesson for you: The word retarded, as it references being foolish or stupid, heralds back to the 15th century. It originated in French, from the Latin word (where the French language gets its root) redardare.
Somewhere in the 70s or 80s, some bunch of inbred shitbags picked it up as a way to describe people that are mentally deficient.
Just because someone else hijacked a phrase that predated their idiocy by 500 years doesn’t mean I have to change to conform to what YOU THINK it means. For christ’s sake, I stutter! Have you HEARD my youtube videos? You know how many times I have to reshoot a video to get them as legible as they are now??? I grew up being called retarded by kids all through school. Do you see how very incredibly much that worried the hell out of me? (that’s sarcasm. It didn’t. Sticks and stones and all that jazz…)
I only bring this up because I made a post on Facebook one day and used the word in it’s actual original context – a concept was “retarded”… meaning backwards in thinking. I got hit over the proverbial head with comments and reports to Facebook who later made me remove the post.
Since then, I’ve struggled with only occasionally using it because Facebook will censor my post after some douche-canoe reports it enough times for hurting his sensitive 50 year old feelings because someone called his kid that and now his panties are in a twist.
Guess what? I don’t know your kid. I didn’t know they were mentally deficient. However, now that I DO know, I still am not going to change my vocabulary because someone I don’t know, somewhere I’ll never go in my life, might be offended by it. THAT is retarded! (and you can use either of webster’s definitions in context there… they both work!)
Would I ever say the word in front of someone that’s mentally deficient? Of course not. I do have some sense of decorum. Just like I wouldn’t say “Man, I wish you could see that” to a blind guy.
While we’re on words, or while I am anyway, let’s knock out another one; Gay!
Dude, that’s so gay!
I used to game with a group of friends online, a game called City of Heroes, probably some of the coolest people I’ve ever met and we’re still friends to this very day, a decade later.
After playing with them for while and getting to know them, I found out some of them were of the light-loafered orientation. (Trust me, they’re laughing even if you’re not, so shut it.)
So we’re playing along, running our superhero characters through the hollows when the Hamidon jumps up and starts flaying us like jewish children on a Nazi horror ride. My usual phrase when my character got killed was something along the lines of “Oh, dude.. that’s gay. I’m dead! Crap.. I’ll be back in a minute… sheesh.”
In cultural context to my generation, at least amongst the hetero population, “gay” most often was equivalent to “lame.”
As sure as I’d say it, one of my gay friends would yell through the mic “HEY” at my absconding with his sexual orientation as meaning “lame.” I laughed. They laughed. You know what? None of them got offended.
Again, I stutter… you know how many times I’ve been asked “Can you repeat that?”
I learned to respond with “I did… the first time, dumbass!”
We all have our little things that set us off. Somewhere along the way “Gay” became one of those words. As a heterosexual male, you can completely freely use it to reference two men banging each other naked, but don’t DARE use it in a joking manner to mean “lame” or anything of the sort.
Really? Kind of overreaching there aren’t you?
So the homosexual male culture of the 2,000’s has grabbed Gay by the horns and absconded with it’s meaning and now controls who uses it, under what context, and woe be to you that disagree because that makes you homophobic, or means you hate gays, or that you disagree with gay marriage, or a multitude of other sins.
Dude.. that’s just… Gay (lame).
Another history lesson for those so inclined to jump on me for accidentally dropping the G-bomb in conversation… YOU STOLE THE FREAKING WORD YOURSELVES YOU IDIOTS, just like you did the Rainbow, but you don’t see the people from Lucky Charms pistol whipping your ass do you?
Get over yourself. It’s a word, and a fun one to boot. In fact that’s what it ACTUALLY MEANT originally, before it became synonymous with homosexuality.
The word has been around since the 12th century. For the mathematically challenged, that’s almost a THOUSAND years. It originally meant joyful, carefree, etc.
In the 17th century, it began to be associated with immorality, so much so that it had a mention in the Oxford-English dictionary and was defined as “addicted to pleasures and dissipations. Often euphemistically: Of loose and immoral life” – an extension of it’s original meaning of carefree…
In the 19th century, it referred to both a female prostitute (woman who sleeps with men for money) and a man who slept with a lot of women (the latter definition I happen to find hilarious by the way, and painfully ironic!) At this time in history, gay was comfortably interchanged between meanings of fun, joyful, carefree, whore, and gigolo.
Only around 1955 did the word “settle” into its role to refer to homosexual men – a transition that was wholeheartedly and SOLELY driven by homosexual men as a new defining term for them. Note, it was NOT a term society picked to label them with, but one they chose and made “their” word.
Fine… you can have gay. You can be gay! That’s awesome. Enjoy it.
Just understand that I will occasionally borrow it to mean LAME and we’ll get along just fine!
So, since it’s 1 AM and I need to be heading off to bed, let’s recap what we’ve learned tonight about me.
- This is my portal to the world – so I can basically post what I feel like, and you can’t report SHIT about it to anyone. (sticks out tongue and does the na-na-naaa-na-na-naaa sound). Author’s note: I actually had to sound that out to type it… lol.
- I’ll call something retarded if I feel it’s warranted.
- I’ll call an idea, act, or situation gay if I feel it’s lame.
You on the other hand can feel free to say whatever you want, to whomever you want, in whatever manner you want, and I promise not to give a crap.
I won’t call YOU retarded, and I won’t call YOU gay… unless you actually are gay and I’m referring to your sexual preference, which I’d never do unless you brought it up, which would really put me in a difficult situation and make me break out a thesaurus to find a non-gay word do describe gay, especially if it was a homosexual reference wrapped up in a lame context… then I’d be doubly screwed.. and that’d be…. wait for it….. gay.